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? Join NPN team member Meredith for our virtual Expectant Mom Group. She will coordinate a video chat for expecting moms to connect and talk about the unique challenges and joys you face as moms-to-be. The group will meet Tuesdays March 2, 9 and 16 from 7:00 - 7:40 PM via the Zoom video chat platform. Please RSVP below to receive updated information. *You will receive an email a couple of days before the group begins with instructions on how to sign in to the chat. **Please register once for you and your infant. Log in to your NPN account & RSVP below. If your RSVP goes through successfully you will receive an email confirmation momentarily. For more info on attending or hosting click on NMG FAQ Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Erikson Institute. NPN is proud to share information about Erikson Institute's Fussy Baby Network: The Fussy Baby Network offers a range of parent support services around crying, sleeping, and feeding issues for babies and toddlers up to age 3. We provide free phone support through our warmline, staffed by our warm and caring family/infant specialists. We also offer free virtual home visits to families no matter where they live. Finally, we provide support groups for parents to talk together about the challenges they face and how they cope. All of our services are available in English and Spanish.

Join NPN team member Meredith for our virtual Expectant Mom Group. She will coordinate a video chat for expecting moms to connect and talk about the unique challenges and joys you face as moms-to-be. The group will meet Tuesdays March 2, 9 and 16 from 7:00 - 7:40 PM via the Zoom video chat platform. Please RSVP below to receive updated information. *You will receive an email a couple of days before the group begins with instructions on how to sign in to the chat. **Please register once for you and your infant. Log in to your NPN account & RSVP below. If your RSVP goes through successfully you will receive an email confirmation momentarily. For more info on attending or hosting click on NMG FAQ Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Erikson Institute. NPN is proud to share information about Erikson Institute's Fussy Baby Network: The Fussy Baby Network offers a range of parent support services around crying, sleeping, and feeding issues for babies and toddlers up to age 3. We provide free phone support through our warmline, staffed by our warm and caring family/infant specialists. We also offer free virtual home visits to families no matter where they live. Finally, we provide support groups for parents to talk together about the challenges they face and how they cope. All of our services are available in English and Spanish.

Join NPN team member Meredith for our virtual Expectant Mom Group. She will coordinate a video chat for expecting moms to connect and talk about the unique challenges and joys you face as moms-to-be. The group will meet Tuesdays March 2, 9 and 16 from 7:00 - 7:40 PM via the Zoom video chat platform. Please RSVP below to receive updated information. *You will receive an email a couple of days before the group begins with instructions on how to sign in to the chat. **Please register once for you and your infant. Log in to your NPN account & RSVP below. If your RSVP goes through successfully you will receive an email confirmation momentarily. For more info on attending or hosting click on NMG FAQ Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Erikson Institute. NPN is proud to share information about Erikson Institute's Fussy Baby Network: The Fussy Baby Network offers a range of parent support services around crying, sleeping, and feeding issues for babies and toddlers up to age 3. We provide free phone support through our warmline, staffed by our warm and caring family/infant specialists. We also offer free virtual home visits to families no matter where they live. Finally, we provide support groups for parents to talk together about the challenges they face and how they cope. All of our services are available in English and Spanish.

My long-term relationship that had been fizzling for quite a while had finally snuffed out when it occurred to me that I should become a single-mother-by choice. I was always able to picture myself as a mother but the image of myself as a wife was hazy. Very willing to have the baby and not the man, I started to strategize on how to make that happen. What is a single-mother-by-choice (SMC)? Sometimes called a choice mom or only parent, a single-mother-by-choice is a woman who decides to become a mother with full understanding that she will be the only parent. Or as the 2015 article, the single mother by choice myth defines it, “she’s the epitome of the modern independent woman who wants to have it all, career and family ─ taking her future into her hands, acting decisively, and doing what it takes to achieve her goal of motherhood, with no need for a man. A single-mother-by-choice will pursue motherhood with the aid of donor sperm from either a known donor, with a sperm bank, or private donation. I went with a sperm bank. How does it work? Initially, my plan was intrauterine insemination (IUI), where sperm is placed inside the uterus. Some women are brave enough to do it on their own at home. I wanted to go through a doctor. In doing so, I researched the best in the Chicagoland area and went with Chicago IVF. After sharing my medical history, I underwent a hysterosalpingogram, an X-ray of my uterus and fallopian tubes. I learned that in vitro fertilization (IVF), where the sperm and egg are fertilized outside of the body and then placed inside the uterus, was my only option. Due to the rigorous care schedule, I transferred my care to the Fertility Center of Illinois in River North because it was closer to home and work. Speaking of work, in Illinois, there is a state mandate that health insurance must cover fertility treatment, including up to four cycles of IVF. But how does it work as a parent? The African proverb, it takes a village to raise a child, rings loud and true for an only parent. If not to help in childcare or to have someone in case of emergency, you will need a sane adult to let you know that you will survive. I’ve been fortunate enough to have the help of my parents—without them, working from home during the shelter-in-place would have been impossible. Any advice for someone considering SMC-hood? Working to get pregnant is well, work. Don’t be afraid to ask all of the questions. Choose a healthcare team that you’re comfortable with, especially if you’re a woman of color as racial and ethnic disparities in pregnancy-related deaths persist. Get a full physical workup before you start. Keep a journal because pregnancy comes with a lot of feelings and your journal can be your listening ear. Focus on what you have and not on what you’re missing. It took me two years to become pregnant. Out of those 730 days, Mother’s and Father’s Days were some of the roughest. The first year, I was starting IVF and had no clue if it would work. I skipped church and their Mother’s Day parade and focused all the energy I had after a good shower cry on my mom. That Father’s Day was rough because I was working to become an SMC and I was already rife with worry of how my baby-to-be would feel about the holiday seeing that she or he wouldn’t have a conventional dad. By the next year, I was an IVF pro, but I still needed a distraction. I spent that holiday season uplifting other moms-to-be and hosted a Twitter giveaway for a self-care kit. However, the nervousness around Father’s Day persisted. My mom was the first person I told my decision to become an SMC. “A baby needs a dad,” she said, and I agreed. But when I told her that I didn’t want to miss my chance to become a mother because I didn’t have a man, she quickly gave me her blessing. Yet, that didn’t stop me from praying that my love for my child would be enough. My third embryo transfer, in which my father drove me to the doctor, was a charm. That February, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Mother’s Day of that year was going to be great. My mom and I made plans to brunch with her best friend and her daughters, all of whom are mothers. I would finally get to celebrate with the cool kids. I even bought me and the baby boy matching shirts. But the Thursday before Mother’s Day, my father had a stroke. My mother spent the holiday in the hospital with my dad, while I celebrated my first Mother’s Day worrying and taking awkward selfies of me and my son. My dad’s recovery was slow but steady. He was still in the hospital for Father’s Day. Me, mom, and the baby sat around his bed and ate salads from Portillo’s. This year, while Mother’s and Father’s Day was off-kilter for the entire country, I’ve finally hit a stride and that blanket of burden is gone. My son is growing into his own person every single day and I’m confident in my ability to parent him, for now. This first year of parenting has already taught me that he will change and change. Even this Father’s Day felt better. My dad is doing as well as we could expect, and I’ve begun to practice my spiel on how I will tell my son know that he’s donor-conceived. I’ve even had the opportunity to connect with two handfuls of his donor siblings ─ giving him a peek (when he’s ready) into his other side, albeit extremely non-conventional. And maybe now I will channel all that Mother’s and Father’s Day tension into a holiday more deserving, like National Brownie Day.

Preparing to give birth in the City of Big Shoulders? Get ready. In addition to a generally friendly Midwestern vibe from passers-by, there are a handful of little-known watch-outs and hacks that Chicago moms of yore have discovered along the way. For advice, we asked our Member Discussion Forum and social media channels to weigh in: What would you tell a first-time Chicago mom? Here’s what we learned. [Related: 12 truths about giving birth from an OB nurse] Bundle up, but don’t buy a maternity coat Given our long winter, chances are you’re going to need a coat. But don’t fall prey to buying an expensive maternity coat — especially since you may only wear it for a short time (depending on your due date, Groundhog Day, or both). Many on our Forum advised buying a used maternity coat for the months you need it, then selling it again when you’re done. One mom said she lucked out with purchasing a plus-sized coat during Black Friday sales just after Thanksgiving: “It was great, and hundreds less expensive than a ‘maternity’ winter coat.” Begin your childcare search early In a city as big as ours, there are a lot of childcare options...but there are a lot of new babies vying for those spots. Many NPN moms have said that they were forced to join waitlists for childcare, many of which can be more than six months long. One mom advised that especially in the Lakeview and Lincoln Park neighborhoods, registering “by the second trimester” is a good idea. Considering a nanny? Peruse the NPN Childcare Classifieds to see what parents are saying about the nanny they're recommending. Typically, parents start looking for a nanny about 2 months before they go back to work. Riding the CTA? Wear a button — and speak up. In fall 2019, the CTA partnered with The Mom Project to produce “Baby On Board” buttons for expectant mothers riding the El. Thing is, they’re only effective if other riders notice them and follow suit. Most moms we heard from complained that they were seldom offered seats on trains or buses, even during late-stage (read: obvious) pregnancy. Sadly, this anecdote is a common one: “One time, during a curve, my stomach smacked a rider’s face as I was trying to hold on for dear life; didn’t even phase him.” Word to the wise: Even if you’re wearing a button, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. In Chicago, seats are prioritized for expectant mothers. Claim what’s yours! [Related: The best-kept secret about breastfeeding] Plan on traffic Whether you’re attending those final, frequent check-ups with your doula or planning your route to the hospital, know that Chicago traffic jams can strike at any time — rush hour be damned. We’ve heard of several moms who didn’t quite make it to the hospital and had to give birth on the expressway...but we also know a mom who had the shortest hospital commute ever early on Easter Sunday. No matter your destination, try to have an alternate route that doesn’t include Lake Shore Drive or the expressway. Get a car seat before discharge... Unfortunately, some Chicago parents have found out this rule the hard way: Major hospitals, including Prentice Women’s Hospital at Northwestern, require new parents to procure a car seat for use at discharge, whether it will be installed in their own vehicle, or a shared vehicle such as a cab or Uber. Tip: If you need help with the installation, you can have it done for free at any local fire station. ...even if you’re taking the El home. Some moms said they gave birth back in the days before car seats were required, and were able to walk or take public transit home from the hospital. But just in case, bring your car seat. Compared with births from even a handful of years ago, we heard from other members who said that they were required to bring a car seat to the hospital — even though they’d planned to head home by other means. It’s just policy.

For those growing a family during the Covid-19 global pandemic, there may be additional concerns, worries or fears on your mind. While we continue to learn more about Covid, pregnancy has not been proven to be a contributing factor for increased vulnerability to the virus. However, prenatal care, labor and delivery, and post-birth care will look different from the pre-Covid era. Here's a guide on what to expect when you're expecting during this pandemic. Pregnancy Each health care provider—obstetrician, family physician or midwife—will always bring their own training, past experiences and approaches to prenatal care. During the pandemic, each practice will have its own policies and procedures around medical prenatal visits during Covid. Establish a partnership with your provider—ask them your questions about what to expect for your pregnancy care. In the Chicago area, most providers and practices have substituted some of the standard in-person appointments with telehealth visits. If you are experiencing a low-risk pregnancy, this should be just fine for you and your baby. If you or your baby have any high-risk factors or complications, your provider will be working with you directly to provide the most appropriate medical prenatal care. For an in-person visit, expect to be asked screening questions upon arrival and to have your temperature checked. If you are experiencing any symptoms, call your provider’s office before going in to see them. Until testing is more widely available, don’t expect to be tested during routine prenatal visits. One of the most significant changes in prenatal care is that your partner may not be able to join you at most or any of the routine visits, though they may be able to attend an ultrasound appointment. You can minimize potential disappointment by finding out in advance whether your partner can come in with you. If not, ask if you can have them on the phone or a web call during the appointment or if they can give you a recording of baby’s heartbeat to share. What if you test positive during pregnancy? Your provider is going to tell you what they recommend, based on what trimester you are in and what else may be going on with your pregnancy. As always, ask your questions so you understand the recommendations and what options you may have. Final weeks of pregnancy Talk about what options will or will not be available to you at the birth location. Have this conversation by the 36th week of pregnancy, because most babies, on their own, will arrive between 37–42 weeks. Do you have a strong preference for elements of your birth experience? Knowing what is possible may help you feel more prepared when your labor begins. In addition to your provider, you can check out Birth Guide Chicago’s COVID-19 page for updates on local hospital policies and support people. Having the support of a labor support doula—in-person or virtually—can also be an invaluable resource for navigating pregnancy and birth. Labor and delivery If you are planning to give birth at a hospital, here are some things to be prepared for: Most providers are recommending that you stay home for as long as you are able to manage the sensations of labor before you come to the hospital or birth location. Even if you are planning for or decide you want an epidural, the longer you stay at home the shorter your hospital stay will be. You will be given a Covid test in triage, in addition to the standard triage/admitting procedures. If you test negative, then things will likely proceed as they would in non-Covid times. If you are having a scheduled induction or Cesarean, you will likely take a Covid test a few days prior. There will be a limit of one to two people who can be with you. Some hospitals have limited it to one, others are allowing a partner and doula. Whomever your support person is, they will not be given a Covid test at the birth location. They should expect to be masked the entire time, and they will need to stay in the room with you. (Partners, pack extra snacks and clothes!) Each location has different policies on whether the mom-to-be will be required to wear a mask, regardless of the result of Covid test. Expect all hospital staff to be masked and gloved when interacting with you. What if you test positive for Covid when in labor? Expect to have additional measures put into place to keep staff safe while ensuring your safety and baby’s safety. You can talk with your provider in advance about the specific practices of your birth location. Because this is a new virus, there is still much we don’t know. The specifics of what your care will look like during labor, delivery and postpartum, as well as baby’s care, vary by birth location. But expect to be placed in a special room, to potentially have no partner/doula allowed in with you, and for all staff to be wearing PPE. Postpartum Visitors will likely be limited to the partner and possibly the doula. Friends, family members and older children will have to wait to see you and baby once you are home. Most hospitals are discharging new moms and babies after 24 hours for a vaginal birth and three days for Cesarean birth. Discharge remains dependent upon Mom being cleared by her provider and baby being cleared by the pediatrician to go home. Breastfeeding/chest-feeding is safe and recommended! When can friends and family visit? Pediatrician recommendations on who and when non-household members come into your circle vary, but generally the baby’s 2-month vaccination appointment can be considered a time marker. You will need to assess the risks and benefits for yourself and your family to determine when you are ready for visitors. There is no one set time that it will feel right for every new family. During pregnancy and the first year of parenting, the only constant is change. How we each respond to change is personal but doesn’t need to be isolating. There are many resources that are accessible during Covid: childbirth education and preparation classes have moved online, and so have many pregnant and new parent support groups (check out NPN's New Moms Groups). Therapy and other mental health services have been made easier to access through most insurance companies and with telehealth. Labor support and postpartum doulas, as well as lactation consultants (IBCLCs), continue to offer in-person and virtual care. Pregnancy and postpartum during Covid may be different but you can still find plenty of support. I hope your new baby brings you joy during this uncertain time!

Becoming a parent is a joyful, exciting time. It is also a stressful, disorienting and exhausting time. There is cultural messaging that children are a joy and we should be happy throughout their babyhood. However, as a clinical psychologist and mother, I've seen that this is just not reality, and this message creates shame for mothers and partners who struggle with this major life transition. In fact, did you know that, statistically, couples report the lowest rates of marital satisfaction after the birth of a baby? These tiny humans have a way of taking up a huge amount of emotional space, time and energy. Much of this time, energy and attention you once had to give to your partner or yourself, so of course the transition will be a little bumpy! While you can find thousands of resources about the best car seat or swaddle, it’s rare to find information about what to do to prepare and protect one of the most important things to you and your baby: your marriage or partnership. So here are a few ways to help baby-proof your relationship and prepare your partnership for the transition to parenthood. Establish good communication strategies It is vital to the long-term health of a partnership, particularly during times of stress, to learn how to ask for help and how to constructively express frustration or disappointment. No matter how close we are to someone, they can’t read our mind! It’s also important to reduce criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling (shutting your partner out), as these types of communication patterns have been identified as particularly damaging to a relationship. Discuss expectations Who will do the late-night feedings? Who is in charge of childcare? You may think you’re both on the same page, but sitting down to let your partner know your expectations, and to hear theirs, is essential. Prioritize connection Parenting a newborn is all-encompassing. Connecting with your partner may not look like weekends away or long nights out for a while, but you can still make each other coffee, reach for their hand, or turn your phones and tv off to talk for a few minutes at night. These small moments of connection can make a huge difference. Work on your mindset Don’t keep score! When you aim to win an argument or you keep track of exact numbers of times you do something, even if you win, the relationship loses. See yourself as a team, you both have the same goal to care for this baby. Also remember that this is a temporary phase of life. When we have thoughts like, My life will always be this way, it can make our negative emotions more intense. Take care of yourself You can’t be a good partner if you’re totally depleted. Stay connected to friends, go for walks and lean on your support system. Postpartum anxiety or depression can compound the difficulty of adjusting to parenthood and to your relationship and absolutely necessitates treatment. If you or someone you love is experiencing difficulty, please reach out to me or to another mental health professional.

Are you or someone you love struggling with feelings of anxiety, extreme sadness or feeling very overwhelmed following childbirth? Nancy Segall of Beyond the Baby Blues and Claire Zawa of Birthways Inc. share information and resources for expectant and new parents about the causes, symptoms and treatments for postpartum depression. Postpartum depression occurs in approximately 20 percent of all new mothers. It’s considered the number one postpartum childbirth complication. After this webinar, you will have a better understanding of how perinatal mental health extends beyond depression, impacts the entire family, and can be identified before the family is in crisis. Topics covered: Perinatal mental health diagnoses and presentations Risks factors, special populations, and situations that require referral Tips for how to engage a new or expecting parent in a dialogue about perinatal mental health and how to best offer support Cultural considerations Assessment/screening Resources Note: This webinar is available to NPN members only. Not a member? Learn about the many member benefits and join now. Member only video

If you’re expecting, no doubt you’re receiving unsolicited advice and hearing horror stories. I’ve spent more than 20 years working in OB at three of Chicago’s leading maternity centers. Here is my perspective as a nurse. 1. There is no crystal ball. Labor is not an exact science. However, the majority of the time, mom and baby are fine, and most couples tell me it was a nicer experience than they expected. 2. The nurses aren’t mind readers. Tell your labor nurse the top three things about this experience that matter most to you. Or tell her what you absolutely don’t want. Keep it to things within your control. 3. If you want an unmediated, low-interventional birth, hire a doula. None of the leading maternity centers have doulas on staff. There is evidence to support that using a doula lowers the risk of a C-section. The nurses are there to support you, but we have many things to monitor. 4. You can always say NO. Medical interventions are often suggested to avoid a C-section. However, there is frequently more than one viable option. Speak up if something doesn’t sound right. 5. Have a ball with labor. The exercise ball is the closest thing to a magic bullet—really. The labor and delivery unit will have balls available, but have your own so you can use it at home during early labor. 6. You can move around more than you think with an epidural. You will have to stay in bed once you have an epidural. But remember, movement keeps labor progressing; move from your left side, right side, semi-sitting, kneeling over the top of the bed. Ask your labor nurse about using the peanut-shaped ball; studies show that using this ball to open your pelvis may decrease your risk of a C-section. 7. Eat before you come to the hospital. Many hospitals still limit eating once you arrive. Be sure to eat at home and stay hydrated. 8. Amniotic fluid leaks. The bag of water can break any time during labor. But after it breaks, you will continue to leak fluid throughout labor. Not all the fluid escapes during the initial “break,” and the baby is always making more fluid. 9. Keep calm and breathe. Slow, conscious breathing will keep you focused and relaxed and serve as a distraction. 10. You will not recognize your perineum, but it’s OK. Most women have a lot of swelling in their perineum after delivery—more than you can imagine. Use the ice packs and the witch hazel pads that the hospital supplies. It gets better quickly, I promise! 11. You will be freaked out about pooping after delivery. You will not want to push anything else out of your bottom after delivery. However, constipation makes things worse. Take the stool softener the hospital offers to you. 12. Delayed cord clamping is not routine at most institutions. In healthy, full-term deliveries, delayed cord clamping may not be routine; you will have to request it.

When you're pregnant, how breastfeeding will work for you won't be apparent until after your little one greets the world and screams for food. You won't know whether your baby will latch easily, how much milk you'll produce, or whether it'll hurt a lot or not at all. But there is still plenty you can do while pregnant to get prepared and educate yourself about how to feed your baby. Barbara Hardin, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) with The Mother's Milk Company, clears up some of the myths about breastfeeding, as well as how to overcome the typical stumbling blocks. [Related: What to expect when you're expecting a Chicago baby] What are some things an expectant mom can do now to make breastfeeding easier when the time comes? It can be good to talk with other new moms about preparing for motherhood. If you ask them about breastfeeding, here are some things you may hear: 1. Take a breastfeeding class. The workshop I'm leading at Preparing for Parenthood is a great place to start. 2. Read a good book about breastfeeding, such as Nancy Mohrbacher’s Breastfeeding Made Simple: The Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers. You will learn about baby’s instinctive behaviors and what normal breastfeeding looks like. 3. Learn about the benefits of being skin-to-skin with your baby. It’s a wonderful way to care for him (or her) in the early days after baby’s birth and also supports breastfeeding. 4. Identify one or more IBCLCs who provide in-home care just in case you need help once you are home with your newborn. 5. Contact your insurance company to learn how to get coverage for IBCLC services and how to obtain a breast pump. The Affordable Care Act mandates that insurance cover these services. What are the biggest stumbling blocks moms have when it comes to breastfeeding? It’s important to realize that babies expect to be held most of the time, and they feed frequently—8-12 times a day! Thinking of yourself as baby’s habitat and having unrestricted contact with your baby in the early days and weeks after birth can go a long way toward making breastfeeding easy. Also, having a supportive network of family and friends to help take care of you, the new parents, can ease the transition to parenting. Many cultures have a “lying-in” period when mom is relieved of all responsibilities except for caring for her baby. In our culture, moms are usually expected to maintain their pre-baby responsibilities after baby is born. So, help those around you learn how their support is vital to helping you achieve your infant feeding goals. And go easy on yourself! There are breastfeeding support groups, as well as NPN New Moms Groups, available. Find them, and connect to your tribe or your village to give you the information and ongoing support you need. [Related: 12 truths about giving birth from an OB nurse] Do you think moms put too much pressure on themselves to breastfeed? Is there a point at which you recommend a mom stop if she’s having a lot of trouble breastfeeding? While most moms are able meet their breastfeeding goals, as an IBCLC, I often see moms with difficult breastfeeding challenges. Sometimes these difficulties seem to be or can be insurmountable. It is always ok for a mom to decide that she wants to stop breastfeeding and to feel supported in her decision. It is the IBCLC’s role to give a mom information, strategies and options about her breastfeeding situation. It is the mom’s choice to decide how to go forward. While exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is recommended, breastfeeding does not have to be an all-or-nothing process. Partial breastfeeding or partial breastmilk feeding can be viable options. Knowing this helps some moms continue to do some breastfeeding. I always support a mom’s decision about how to feed her baby, whatever choice she makes. My role is to help make it an informed choice. What are your thoughts on the recent findings that there’s no need to “pump and dump” when you’ve had a drink or two? The last thing we want to do is put unnecessary restrictions on what a breastfeeding mom “must do” or “cannot do” which may cause her to shorten the duration of breastfeeding. It is widely accepted in the medical literature that moderate and responsible use of alcohol does not cause harm to infants. There are, however, some cautions moms should be aware of. You can find a number of reliable sources of information to turn to for guidance on alcohol use and breastfeeding. What recommendations do you have for expectant moms who are planning to work full time but also want to continue breastfeeding? First, keep in mind there is plenty of time to prepare for going back to work after baby is born. In the early weeks, focus on getting breastfeeding off to a good start and establishing your milk supply before you begin to store milk for your return to work. You’ll find it helpful to talk with other moms in your workplace who have continued to breastfeed after returning to work. These moms will be able to share some of the ins and outs of your workplace. Find out if there is a designated area for pumping milk. If there is not, ask your employer to provide a suitable place to pump. Know that you have rights under the law to provide milk for your baby once you have returned to work.

As an expecting parent, you are rightfully overwhelmed with all that's ahead for you when your little one greets the world. This tiny creature will depend on you for everything, and you want to be prepared to do the best for her, right? Dr. Rebecca Unger, a pediatrician at Northwestern Children's Practice, answers some pressing questions about newborn care below. What are some things that happen in the first month of a newborn’s life that many parents are unprepared for? Newborn babies do not come with an owner’s manual, so it is common to feel unprepared for what you experience during your first month as a new parent. Since older babies often have predictable feeding and sleeping schedules, one of the things that many parents are unprepared for is the unpredictable rhythm of newborn life. Newborns have patterns that can help provide some structure, but there is no such thing as a schedule to the day (or night) until a baby is several months old. Add parental fatigue to the mix and it can be overwhelming to make sense of how to know how to meet your baby’s needs. Once you learn that the best way to figure that out is to trust your instincts, along with depending on your pediatrician and trusted friends and relatives for information and support, you will grow to have more confidence and understanding about meeting your baby’s needs. Luckily it is a very steep learning curve! What are some things that parents overprepare for? Depending on the parenting style, some parents will read and read and read about caring for a newborn. Although it can be helpful to read ahead of time about how to feed, bathe, diaper, and sleep train your baby, you will learn all of those skills very quickly when you have your baby in your arms, regardless of what parenting resources you have already studied. What are the most common behaviors or concerning symptoms that you should look for in your infant in the first week home? Right from the start, babies have unique personality traits. Your baby might be quiet, calm and watching everything around her or she might be active, intense and fussy. All of these temperament traits are normal. You will learn to respond to your baby’s personality traits and know when and how to meet her needs. Newborn babies can see close faces, large shapes and bright colors. Vision develops rapidly over the first year. Babies have a social smile by 6-8 weeks and even before that they will pay attention to your smile and facial expressions, your voice and being held. Within a few months, babies may even imitate and engage in your facial expressions. Babies can have irregular breathing patterns, active startle reflexes and fussy times, all of which are normal. Concerning symptoms would be excessive crying or inconsolability, lethargy that results in poor feeding, lack of eye contact, significant vomiting and lack of urine output. What are the most common questions you get from new parents? 1) How do I know if my baby is hungry? 2) How do I know if my baby is getting enough to eat? 3) How do I know when my baby is ready for sleep? 4) When can I go outside with my baby? 5) When can I travel with my baby? 6) How often should I bathe my baby? 7) How warmly do I dress my baby? 8 ) Can I use a pacifier? Answers: 1) Feed your baby every 2-4 hours, as a general guideline. Healthy babies can feed on demand—they are the boss! 2) If your baby makes at least four wet diapers/day he is getting enough to eat. 3) Your baby should sleep frequently—the sleep pattern should be up a little, down a little. Remember that sleep begets sleep so a well rested baby will sleep better than an overtired baby. Sleeping well at night will promote sleeping well in the daytime, and vice versa. 4) You can go outside with your newborn baby anytime, as long as the weather outside is not too frightful for you. 5) You can travel anytime with your baby. There are no restrictions, however once your baby is older than 6-8 weeks of age, there is less concern about development of fever. 6) You can bathe your baby as often as you like but often babies are bathed several times/week. 7) You should dress your baby as warmly as you dress yourself. 8 ) You can use a pacifier anytime. If you are breastfeeding and have some problems, you might want to wait until breastfeeding is going well. Dr. Unger has been working with the Northwestern Children’s Practice for over two decades. She also works at Lurie Children’s Hospital as an attending pediatrician in the Lurie Wellness and Weight Management Clinic. Dr. Unger has enjoyed raising her children, Emily and Joey, and learning from both of them every step of the way.

As a women’s health physical therapist (PT), I see many women during their year of childbirth. Popular culture often depicts pregnant women effortlessly exercising into the third trimester, then “magically” back to their pre-pregnancy shape and activity soon after delivery. The female body goes through much transformation during this year, but for many women, it does not feel so “magical.” Many of my patients say they wish they had known to look for some of the issues I treat them for. Here are the 5 most common ailments women should be aware of during and after pregnancy—and how physical therapy can help. 1. Severe back pain is not normal. Although some minor back pain during pregnancy is common, pain that limits your ability to function, move, exercise or sleep is not normal! Studies show that back pain during pregnancy may become chronic if it is not treated. If it hurts to move or do your daily activities, ask your doctor/midwife for a referral to PT—most pain can be easily treated. 2. Your abdominals may split. Diastasis recti abdominis (DRA) is a common condition during pregnancy where the “six-pack” abdominal muscles separate down the middle. After childbirth, some women may notice there is either a gap or a bulge in this space that comes up when they try to do a sit up. If you see this, stop the sit ups and see a PT to get the right abdominal exercises to strengthen effectively. 3. Doing kegels is important. Our pelvic floor (kegel) muscles take a huge hit during pregnancy and vaginal childbirth. We can’t always predict delivery complications but the healthier these muscles are at the start, the better the recovery. Research shows kegels may decrease urinary leakage during pregnancy and after delivery. A women’s health PT can help design the right exercise program for you. [Related: Give yourself time to get back in shape after baby] 4. Childbirth does a number on your pelvic floor. For a baby to emerge, muscles in the vagina stretch an incredible amount, and some tearing may occur. The muscles may be very weak, painful, and difficult to control. Pelvic pain, urinary or bowel/gas incontinence can result. If you tear a muscle in your shoulder, it is likely you would consider rehabilitation to get stronger, more flexible and functional. Your pelvic floor deserves the same attention! Pelvic floor rehabilitation can help you recover and get back on track. 5. Having sex may not be easy. Fatigue, time constraints, lack of privacy and changes in libido commonly hinder the sex life of new parents. For many women, pain is an important limiting factor. Remember No. 4 above? Scar tissue and injured muscles may be the culprit for much of the pain symptoms. During your six-week OB visit, if the pelvic exam is painful and the idea of sex seems scary, ask your OB or midwife to refer you for pelvic floor PT to improve the health and flexibility of the tissues.