NPN Laura

Since the pandemic began, it has been hard to deny that racism continues to hinder people of color’s well being. Asian Americans have faced harassment and even violence with the tacit approval of the president, since he referred to COVID-19 as the “Chinese virus” and later the “Kung Flu.” Additionally, we’ve seen the harmful consequences of our modern lifestyle of convenience on communities of color. People of Latinx and African descent are disproportionately the drivers delivering our meals, stocking our food in the grocery stores, and boxing our online orders. For the first time in my generation, many of us are seeing how our luxury requires that these essential workers risk their health. Coronavirus cases for Black and Latinx essential workers are the highest in the nation compared to whites. [Related: Show some love to these Chicago Black-owned businesses] Like most Americans, I have seen and heard of countless incidents of police reacting to Black lives as if they are villains from a Marvel film. Let’s be honest, long before the pandemic, it has become something most Americans have glanced at, chose to be ambivalent about and have found ways to justify the excessive use of force. If you have a social media account, you know that the frequency of police brutality is shocking. Every day, residents are documenting footage that has changed the perspectives of millions of people who have never seen (innocent or accused) people treated this way. You, or someone you know, may have tried to find justifications for the brutality aimed at unarmed people of color: their flawed track record (George Floyd); they didn’t follow the police’s commands (Philando Castille); he went through an abandoned building (Ahmaud Arbury). But what can you say about Breonna Taylor who was sleeping in her home with her partner when she was shot by police? What have you told your children about all of the racial trauma and injustice happening to people of color in America? Do you explain to them that the root of racial injustice is white privilege? The Rodney King verdict showed me as a child that my skin was not valued in this country as much as white skin. Today, my brown skin children are learning the same harsh truth. Despite the progress of the Civil Rights movement of my mother’s generation to the “post-racial” Obama era of mine, the structures that hold white supremacy in place are as strong as ever. Despite the great efforts I make as a parent to position my child to obtain the American dream, they are still subjected to racial trauma simply because of their skin color. In order to eradicate this 401-year-old virus, we have to acknowledge that anti-Blackness in all of its forms--institutional, interpersonal, covert and overt--is the culprit. White Americans have to step up to take this undeserving burden off the backs of Black people. Non-Black parents of color must also do the work so they don’t become accomplices to anti-Blackness. So, where should you start? Below, you will find some remarkable resources to guide you in your work to dismantle anti-Blackness, for my children and for yours. Resources to build your antiracist practice For parents of all hues: Black Lives Matter Antiracism Project 10 Words and Phrases You Might Not Know Are Racist (Red Tricycle) Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America Recommended Resources for Supporting the Black Lives Matter Movement (Lecture in Progress) For Latinx families: Why Every Latino Has a Responsibility to the Black Lives Matter Movement (Repeating Islands blog) For Asian & South Asian families: Anti-Racism Resources (Asian Women for Health) VIDEO: We Cannot Stay Silent About George Floyd (Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj) For babies (it's never too early to build their antiracist vocabulary!): A Is for Activist board book

Looking for a special gift or just a treat for yourself? Check out this list of Black-owned businesses in the city (many of which offer delivery or curbside pickup), where you can get everything from cocktail-themed artisan soaps to kids' toys. Food & Drink Batter & Berries: Breakfast/brunch/lunch spot in Lincoln Park Berry Berry Sweets: Cakes, cupcakes and cake pop caterer Bettie Lou’s: American cuisine in Andersonville Brown Sugar Bakery: Cakes and cupcakes in Chatham Chicago French Press: Coffee roaster that offers bean subscriptions and beans by the pound The Common Cup: Coffee shop in Rogers Park Demera: Ethiopian cuisine in Uptown Dream Chef: Restaurant, catering, meal delivery in Tri-Taylor Eleven | Eleven: American cuisine and to-go cocktails in West Loop Ethiopian Diamond: Ethiopian cuisine in Edgewater Friistyle: Belgian frites in Bronzeville Frontier: Meat-focused restaurant in Bucktown Fruve Express Juicery: Cold-pressed juice in Loop and South Loop Gimme Some Sugah: Pies, cakes, cookies and more in South Shore Good to Go Jamaican: Jamaican cuisine on Rogers Park/Evanston border The Grail Cafe: Breakfast and lunch in South Loop Ida’s Sweet Tooth: Cupcakes and sweets caterer Ina Mae’s Tavern: New Orleans cuisine in Wicker Park Justice of the Pies: Pies available in markets and some restaurants Kilwin’s: Ice cream and sweets in Hyde Park Kyoto Black: Coffee shop in Edgewater currently offering coffee bean delivery Lem’s Bar-B-Q: Barbecue spot in Chatham Life’s Sweet: Cafe in Rogers Park Lizzy J: Catering, cafe and housemade iced tea in Ravenswood The Long Room: Bar/restaurant in Ravenswood currently offering to-go cocktails, beer and wine Love Corkscrew: Wine delivery; also available in various retail locations Luella’s Southern Kitchen: Soul food in Lincoln Square Mr. Brown’s Lounge: Jamaican cuisine in West Town Ms. T’s Southern Fried Chicken: Fried chicken and fish in Wrigleyville Pearl’s Place: Southern cuisine in Bronzeville Rooh Chicago: Indian cuisine in West Loop Shawn Michelle's: Ice cream shop in Bronzeville Sip & Savor: Coffee shop in Bronzeville Soule: Southern cuisine in West Town Surf’s Up Avondale: Seafood and Southern food in Avondale Sweet Maple Cafe: Breakfast/brunch in Little Italy/UIC Taste 2 Go: American cuisine in West Loop Taylor’s Tacos: Tacos for catering or pickup (Tuesdays only) in East Garfield Park Teapot Brew Bakery: Tea and treats in Near South Side Uncooked: Vegan restaurant in West Loop Urban Grill: Burgers and sandwiches in Uptown Virtue: Southern cuisine in Hyde Park Clothes & Accessories The Advocates: Online-only social activist T-shirts A’nies Accents: Boutique in South Loop Buttonsbyferrai: Etsy shop featuring custom and social activist buttons Kido: Kids' toys and clothes in South Loop; online ordering available Kiwi’s Boutique: Boutique in Tri-Taylor; online ordering available Mimi’s Tot Closet: Shop for girls’ clothes in Auburn-Gresham; online ordering available Love Peridot: Accessories shop in South Loop; online ordering available Recycled Modern: Vintage, upcycled and handcrafted furniture and home decor shop in Lakeview Reformed School: Etsy shop featuring humorous and social activism T-shirts and accessories The Silver Room: Jewelry, accessories, clothes, gifts and more in Hyde Park; online ordering available Sir & Madame: Fashion brand with a store in Hyde Park Standout Style Boutique: Online-only clothes and accessories Beauty/Personal Care/Health 80th and May: Online-only shop featuring artisan soaps and bath salts Blade and Bloom: Etsy shop featuring skin-care products Bodi Shak: Group fitness gym in Uptown Chatto: Natural hair- and skin-care products in West Loop; online ordering available Depart with Art: Online-only shop featuring organic body products Eb & Flow: Yoga studio in Bucktown; currently offering live online classes Goldkissed Essentials: Online-only shop featuring handmade soaps Karyn’s: Vegan restaurant, spa and health products; online ordering available Mad Moisture Beauty: Online-only skincare products Mango Moi: Online-only mango butter skin and hair products Mind Body Defense: Kickboxing gym with private classes in Uptown Pear Nova: Online-only vegan nail polish Soap Distillery: Cocktail-inspired artisan soaps Sweet Beginnings: Beekeeping social enterprise featuring honey and honey-based body care products; online ordering available Black Owned Market: Online-only bath and body products Urbane Blades: Men’s barbershop in Near North Side Wholistic Skincare: Skincare salon in Clybourn Corridor; online ordering available Books, Gifts & More Helendora Samuels Picture Framing: Custom frame shop in Wicker Park Rose Blossom Chicago: Online-only florist Semicolon Chi: The only Black woman–owned bookstore in Chicago. Store in River West; online ordering available. Thepairabirds: Etsy shop featuring illustrated artwork Third Coast Comics: Comic and graphic novel shop in Rogers Park This is not an exhaustive list, so we'd love to get your recommendations for awesome Black-owned businesses in Chicago. Tell us at laura@npnparents.org.

If I possessed one superpower, I would disregard flying, teleporting or telekinesis. I would simply want to stretch our 24-hour days to have more time. That was one of the most surprising transitions for me as a new parent: clocks no longer mattered because you can’t finish all the things that are on your list — and there’s even less time to unwind. But I’m a firm believer that we were each a person before we were a parent, and maintaining some semblance of your interests is core to avoiding burnout. Remembering the activities that gave you energy before you had kids is an important first step. The harder next step is carving out time to do those activities. But I think both things are possible: making time for yourself and being a good parent. How can we be a light to others if we’re burned out? From one parent to another, here are my five tips* to beat off burnout before it happens: Be honest with yourself. Do you feel on the brink of flipping out about something tiny? Not being your best self with your kids? This is typically a good sign that you need a break. Even a short one can make a difference. Parenting can feel as if you’re on a hamster wheel. Stop running. Understand that self-care isn't selfish. Caring for yourself is necessary, not indulgent. Reading for 15 minutes in bed or enjoying a cup of coffee you didn’t have to re-warm 9 times can be self-care. While a trip to the spa is wonderful, self-care doesn’t have to be luxurious, expensive, or time-consuming. It just has to be for you. Take the pressure off of social media. When you see on Instagram that another mom baked homemade cookies or DIYed all their kid’s birthday decorations, remind yourself they may enjoy baking or crafting. Or they may hate it and are just doing it for likes. In either case, don’t compare yourself. Don’t commit to things you don’t care about. You have the right to say no to activities you don’t want to do, and I encourage you to try it. If you dread that party you said you’d go to, kindly bow out. Be honest with others. The most rewarding conversations I’ve had with friends and family are the real ones. The ones where you talk openly about your lives and are vulnerable. It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes a village to support a parent. Be that village for others and you’ll find the favor is returned. Hats off to the moms and dads who magically make it happen every day — minus sleep and superpowers to pull it off. *I am an amateur parent, and only marginally and intermittently qualified to offer advice. Related content: Working mom hacks: Tips and tricks to make your life better To the moms running on fumes, here's how to refill the tank When it comes to self-care, listen to Michelle Obama 3 steps moms can take to get some me time every week

We sure know how to bundle up in the Midwest. We don’t let winter stop us from living life and enjoying the parks, zoos and fun outdoor activities. But it’s a lot of work to get all that winter gear on, and then there's that “no coats in car seats” rule. Madness! As a child passenger safety instructor at Lurie Children's Hospital (and a mom), I have some practical tips on how you can buckle in your kids safely and quickly during our never-ending winters. Why can’t my kid wear a coat in their car seat? Let’s start out with a refresher of how to buckle up safely. Kids should always be buckled into their car seat snugly. To check this, use the pinch test—once your child is buckled up, try to pinch some harness webbing between your finger and thumb near your child’s shoulder. If you can pinch some slack, the harness needs to be tightened until your fingers slide right off and you can’t pinch any extra webbing. Once kids are snug enough, pull the chest clip up to armpit level. Kids need to be snug because the harness will stretch during a crash. This stretching keeps our bodies from stopping too quickly. When a child wears anything bulky in the car, it creates too much space between their body and the car seat harness. If a crash happens, a child who is wearing a coat or snowsuit isn’t buckled in snugly enough to begin with, so when the harness stretches, that child can pop out of the car seat harness. Even if they don’t come out completely, their little body is subjected to too much movement and they are more likely to have head contact with the interior of the car or with another passenger. Sometimes parents try to solve this coat problem by pulling the car seat harness even tighter and squishing the coat material down. This doesn’t totally compress all the bulk though, and it can create a few other problems, too. We don’t want to overheat our babies and increase their risk of SIDS. Pulling the harness tighter when a child has a coat can also squish the coat material closer to their face, creating a suffocation risk for babies and young kids. Then how can I keep my kids from freezing during a polar vortex? There are lots of ways to keep kids warm in the car, but only one way to keep them safe in the car. And kids don’t freeze to death in the short time it takes to get out to the car, buckle up and start driving. The warm air will be blowing through those vents in a matter of minutes. Here’s what my family does on those bone-chilling days: Start the car to warm it up, but not in a garage (carbon monoxide!) Actually, I’m lying. I’m always running late, so I don’t have time to warm the car up. I totally skip this step. Put on coats and hats, then run out to the car. Get in and start the car. Yank those coats off and get buckled up. Now here’s the best part—you can put those coats back on! Toddlers and older kids can put their coats on backward, over the car seat harness or seat belt.* The hood will end up on the front of their body when you do this. Now the bulky material isn’t between your child’s body and their harness or seat belt. If they start to overheat, it’s easier to remove. But this isn’t safe for babies, because the coat and hood could create a suffocation hazard. So… Dress baby in thin layers. Once baby is buckled in, tuck a blanket around baby’s torso and under their arms so they can’t accidentally flip it up on their face and create a suffocation risk. Thin layers and blankets are okay for big kids, too. If you have an infant seat, bring the seat in overnight so it’s not cold when you go out to the car. Once you switch to a convertible seat, it isn’t practical to bring it inside, obviously. * This is advice for toddlers and big kids who have good head and neck control and who don’t have any special needs that could compromise their airway safety. Always listen to your pediatrician about your child’s individual needs and safety.

Coffee alone won't cut it. Parents who work full time need a plan to get out of the house on time in the morning with everyone fed, dressed and backpacks packed—without tears. (No one would blame you if you have a little cry on the way to work, btw.) How do seasoned working moms make it all happen? We asked our members their top tricks and tips for keeping themselves and their kids happy and sane despite hectic schedules. Hopefully these hacks can make your routine go a little more smoothly. Plan ahead Many of our members said the key to a smooth day is preparing nearly everything the night before—or even earlier. "I plan my outfits every Sunday so I never have to wonder what I'm going to wear," says one member. And this working mom has a great closet strategy: "I keep my everyday, in-season work clothes grouped together in the closet, with whatever I wore most recently on the far left, so that every morning I can just grab an outfit from the 3-4 that are the farthest to the right." Dinnertime is another opportunity for advance prep. "I prep a lot of meals in advance and freeze them," says one mom. "If I don’t get everything cooked on the weekend, I usually cook it the night before, so I can get dinner on the table quickly. If I don’t have a plan the night before, we don’t eat!" And here's a genius cooking hack: "Whenever I cook anything requiring spice assembly, I create extra baggies of the same spice mixture so that the same future 'from scratch' meal is a lot easier/faster." Enlist the kids Why should parents have to do everything themselves? As soon as kids are old enough to help out, many parents put them on the chore list. "During the school year, I used a visual checklist so my kid could figure out what task needed to be done next (this also helped me and my husband)." Here's a great idea to ensure more adult time: "[My kids] have to help put everything away before they go to bed, so that there aren’t more chores for adults to do after bedtime." We can all aspire to get our kids to do as much as this mom's: "They make their own breakfast 80% of the time (I'm in charge of mornings). I've started getting the kids involved in doing their laundry but we are nowhere close to having them take it over yet." But still. They are feeding themselves and washing their clothes. High-five, mom. Enlist other parents Getting the kids ready and driving them to school can add a lot of stress and time to an already hectic morning. Many parents suggest splitting driving duties with other parents. "I work from home a couple days a week so I drive the carpool the days I don't have to get myself ready for work," says one mom. "The days I go into the office, I only have to have them ready to walk out the front door and I can finish getting myself packed and out." And what about after-school activities? Carpools can help with those, too. Says one mom: "The kids were on baseball/softball teams this past spring with a ton of overlap so having friends on those teams to share driving with was the only way it worked." House help Hiring help around the house isn't attainable for everyone, but if you can afford even a little help, you will save yourself a lot of time (and stress), according to our members. "We have a before school nanny/house manager that helps get our son ready for school, takes him to school, and comes home and cleans up breakfast, folds and puts laundry away, accepts said grocery delivery (marks everything off so we know what came and what didn't), starts laundry, and will do light cooking, load/unload dishwasher, help clean/cut up fruit, and help with little things and projects around the house. She also helps with Target returns, etc.," says one mom. Yes, she is living the dream. But wait, there's more. "We also have an afterschool nanny (college student) that picks our son up from school and drives him to his activities, etc." Possibly more attainable for some of us: a house helper who comes one day per week. Check out how much work this mom squeezes out of once-a-week help. "She arrives at 6am so [my] husband and I can get one early-day start to work, and she gets kids ready and drives them to school. Then, she cleans our house from 8am-1:30pm, including laundry and changing all sheets, and then runs errands for us like...returns, dry cleaning, a few groceries as needed, buys all household cleaning supplies. Then picks up the kids at 3:30 from school [and] drives them to all after-school activities and goes home at 6pm." Phew! That's quite a day. "All other days [my] husband and I juggle responsibilities but this one-day-a-week position is amazing," she adds. Delivery Delivery isn't just for pizza and Amazon packages you forgot you bought. Many working moms recommend getting everything from dry cleaning to groceries delivered to save precious time. "We have all groceries delivered...It saves [my husband] and me a ton of time. [Now] I don't impulse shop." This mom did the grocery delivery research so you don't have to. "I used to do grocery delivery but then did a side-by-side cost comparison between Instacart and regular old Jewel Drive Up 'N Go, and well, I now mostly do Drive Up 'N Go." Do you have any tips and tricks you'd like to share? NPN members can comment on this thread on our member discussion forum.

So your child is about to begin this huge stage of independent self-care and you have a million questions. Are they ready? Is it going to be a complete disaster? Will they cry? Will you? On the flip side, there’s the glory of no more diapers. Ever. Think of all the saved money you can stash away in that college fund. Not to mention, you really need a break. Plus, most preschools won’t let you drop off a kid who isn’t fully potty trained. Clearly, this has to happen. You survey your friends about what they did and then read a couple of potty training books you don’t have time to read. And yet, it still seems confusing and like a huge drag you’d rather put off till another day, month, year...perhaps forever. But what about preschool? This has to happen. When getting ready to potty train my own son, I had a crazy thought: Was there any way to make this fun? Not only for myself, but because I still vividly remembered a graduate psychology course in which we learned about Erikson’s second stage of development: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt. Usually completed between 18 months and three years old, it’s the period when children first encounter shame — the message of “You are bad” instead of “You made a bad choice.” Without even realizing it, parents and caregivers often use shame in potty training, not understanding how it can affect their littles. [Related: Potty Training for All Abilities (members-only video)] Knowing this, I was determined to make potty training a shame-free and fun experience. Pictured is the exact behavior chart I used. The result? A fully potty trained kid in no time. Quick note: I also had a second chart just for potty training when out and about. Because children have different things they struggle with — one might fear pooping in general, while another won’t go to the bathroom at school — feel free to get creative and make a chart that fits your child’s needs. 1. Get out all of your craft supplies and involve your child in the process. 2. Draw a fun shape like a circle or star and section it off into however many days you choose. 3. Write a reward in each box. I tried to create as many non-food rewards as possible and added special “bigger” rewards along the way; for example, making slime was a big hit, as was “phone” time. 4. This is the most important step: Buy or gather all of the rewards and place them in one spot in your home. Make sure your child can see everything. The idea behind this is that they will not have to wait to get their reward. When my son saw everything lined up on top of the hutch, he immediately bought into the program and said, “I’m going to get everything on my chart.” [Related: Best Chicago playgrounds for the potty-training toddler] A few things to keep in mind: No time like the present Summer is a great season to start this adventure because your kiddos can be naked without freezing. Less clothing to fuss with in and out of the bathroom is a win for everyone. If you can, take a couple of days off or a long weekend to potty train. Stay close to home, play board games, go to the park, and enjoy time with your little one outdoors. (Added bonus if you’ve got a boy: they can always pee on a tree in a pinch.) That said, always consider... Timing The best potty training advice ever given to me came from my pediatrician, who said to wait for the child to show interest. I took my son shopping for undies and then asked him every day for almost a month if he wanted to wear a diaper or undies. After Day 26, he finally said “undies” and I had them on him so fast he never had time to look back. Patience This is not always a quick process. Try not to get discouraged or frustrated. I quickly learned that if I got upset so would my son. Children feed off of our feelings. I began to act like it was no big deal and with the pressure off, there was room for fun. Phrases to have ready “I would never ask you to do something I didn’t think you could do.” “We all make mistakes; it’s part of learning.” “You’ve got this potty training thing down.” Humor Dance parties were the biggest part of our success. Every time he went to the bathroom, we would celebrate. He even had his own potty touchdown move. Take your time with the process so you can appreciate the joy of watching your little one accomplish this huge milestone.

Is your child starting kindergarten next year? Consider taking a proactive approach to ensuring he or she is ready to arrive at kindergarten and learn. Evidence increasingly suggests that the areas most critical to young children’s long-term educational success are approaches to learning and self-regulation, language and literacy, math, and social and emotional development. While early childhood education is instrumental in supporting a child’s learning and development, family engagement may even be paramount. In 2017, the Illinois State Board of Education (ISBE) released the Kindergarten Individual Development Survey (KIDS) which is a new tool that teachers in Illinois are required to use to observe and document students’ “kindergarten readiness” based on these areas of development. Following are suggested activities and examples for how families can support their children in becoming ready-to-learn. Approaches to learning and self-regulation There is a strong connection between these two areas of development. The approaches to learning skills include engagement and persistence and curiosity and initiative. The self-regulation skills include self-control of feelings and behavior and shared use of space and materials. Young children sometimes have a tough time sticking to a task that is hard to do. You can encourage your child to complete tasks by breaking one big task into smaller steps, like suggesting, “Let’s clean up the toys one at a time.” If your child feels overwhelmed by tasks, you can set a timer and suggest, “Let’s clean up the toys in the next five minutes, and then you can go color.” And, tasks may seem easier to the child with teamwork, such as, “Let’s work with your brother or sister to clean up the toys.” Young children also are learning how to express their feelings through words and actions. You can help your child learn that feelings have words — happy, sad, jealous and angry. Describe the behavior you want to see: “It’s nice you are petting the dog so gently.” Express your feelings back to your child, for example, “I was frustrated when…” And, help your child learn that everyone has feelings by pointing out others’ expressions such as, “Look at the smile on that little boy’s face.” Language and literacy development Language and literacy skills are the foundation for learning English and can be demonstrated in any form of communication. Among the best ways to help children develop in this area are to listen, talk more and learn. Start out your day by talking through the activities you will do: “First, we’re going to eat breakfast, then we’ll get dressed.” As you read with your children, encourage them to describe what they see and develop new ideas. As you move throughout the day, ask your child, “What do you see?” and help them expand his or her vocabulary by adding descriptions, such as, “This apple is crunchy.” Math The math learning domain includes knowledge or skills in classification, number sense of quantity, number sense of math operations, measurement, patterning and shapes. Sorting, organizing and classifying objects, ideas, smells and like items are important skills for young children to develop. Ask your child to help you unload the silverware from the dishwasher and sort the knives, forks and spoon in the right place. Use egg cartons to create an activity where children can sort like objects like coins, crayons or sticks. Or, ask them to help you cook and sort food by fruits and vegetables or colors. You can also help your child make sense of numbers and discover how they can be added, subtracted, multiplied and divided by bringing numbers into conversation. For example, ask your child to count how many crackers or grapes they start with. After eating some, count again. You can talk about how many animals you see, such as “three birds” that have “six wings.” And, you can ask your child to help you set up an activity for a playdate with siblings or friends and create equal amounts of materials for each person participating. Social and emotional development Social and emotional development includes a child’s abilities to understand and interact with others and to form positive relationships with nurturing adults and their peers. At an early age, it is important for children to make friends, to work and play with other children who have different ideas and experiences, and to simply get along. You can support your child in working and playing well with other by setting a good example — most notably, by treating others kindly and with respect. Encourage your child to play with others and foster engagement with kids by pretending, building or talking together. Teach your children about the importance of sharing and positively reinforce them by saying, “You did such a great job sharing with your friends today.” And, help your child talk through his or her feelings and how other children may feel different about a situation. These are just a few ideas about how to engage with your children in the most important areas of development. You can access more tools and resources at www.isbe.net/kids.

There are very few secrets left about breastfeeding. We know it’s great for baby; most of us know the benefits to mom’s health, too. It’s always available, it’s always the right temperature, it’s a package of love if/when you return to work, blah, blah, blah… We know all that. We also know the more challenging side of breastfeeding: the clogged ducts and teething and pumping and messiness of it all. Breastfeeding horror stories abound in new moms groups, right? But, it’s not exactly news. So, what’s the best-kept secret about breastfeeding? You shouldn’t do it alone. No, I’m serious. Don’t even think for a second that breastfeeding is a do-it-yourself kind of thing. Whether you’re preparing to breastfeed or you’ve been breastfeeding for a while, it’s a good idea to have a couple of the following in your back pocket in case of emergency: Phone a friend: Got a friend who breastfed her baby and had a good experience? Call her and call her often. She may not have all the answers, but she can support you emotionally, and breastfeeding is a LOT about emotion, especially in the early days. Warning: Friends with breastfeeding baggage are not going to be helpful to you. If you want to breastfeed, you need someone who will cheer you on. Hospital lactation staff: Most hospitals these days are working toward the World Health Organization’s Baby Friendly designation, a set of evidence-based practices designed to get breastfeeding off to a strong start. If your hospital isn’t pursuing this designation, consider birthing at a different hospital because you’re more likely to get booby trapped. After birth, ask for help from the lactation staff. Ask again if needed. Be persistent and ask questions. Warning: If you feel like the help you’re getting in the hospital is not helpful, get different help (see IBCLCs below). The BSG: Breastfeeding Support Group: Go! Go hang out with a group of other moms who are trying to do the same thing you are! Big plus: no one cares if you baby cries. Well-run groups are supportive, friendly, and informative – they can be a life-saver in those early days of new motherhood. Here is the Chicagoland breastfeeding support group map. Bonus: Many breastfeeding support group leaders are available for phone call questions as well. La Leche League and Breastfeeding USA volunteers are trained in helping breastfeeding moms with common questions. Warning: Did you attend a group and it wasn’t the right vibe for you? Try a different one! All groups are different. Better yet, bring a friend so if you have to, you can leave early and go get coffee with her. The independent IBCLC: Lots of people call themselves lactation consultants, but the term means different things. If you’re having serious breastfeeding issues (ongoing pain, bad latch, cracking or bleeding nipples, slow or low weight gain, lack of poopy and wet diapers), you need help from the most educated ladies in the business: International Board Certified Lactation Consultants. Find a list of independent IBCLCs here. Some insurance plans will pay for visits with an IBCLC. Warning: Just as you’d interview a doctor or a doula, you need to interview your IBCLC. Do you have twins, or do you think your baby has a tongue or lip tie? Ask her about her experience with your needs. The drop-in clinic: Drop-in clinics are relatively new around Chicagoland, but they’re great for a breastfeeding tune-up! Want to make sure baby is getting enough milk? Is baby’s latch changing and you want to figure out how to fix it? Drop-in clinics are normally staffed by IBCLCs and are less expensive than an in-home IBCLC visit. Warning: If you’re having severe breastfeeding issues, the drop-in clinic won’t give you the one-on-one time you need with a professional. You need a home visit. Online support: I won’t lie, my favorite online breastfeeding support resource is Breastfeed Chicago. We’ve got a great website and we have mother-to-mother support on our Facebook group. Online resources are great for those middle-of-the night questions or to see what other breastfeeding moms are doing. And don't forget, the NPN Discussion Forum is also a great place to communicate with other parents going through similar challenges. Warning: Online support doesn’t replace in-person support. If you’re in real need of help, find a real person to help you.