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    • A Chicago parent explains how she chose a Chicago preschool for her child and offers her strategies and tips.
      So, you think this fall is the right time to start preschool?
      If your child is three and potty trained, you’re ready to catch a ride on the pre-kindergarten rollercoaster that will decide who your parental friends are, whether or not you should move, where your child will grow up, and who their lifelong friends will be. Yes, it sounds overwhelming, but it’s never too soon to start researching.
      When I thought my first little one was ready, I didn’t have any “mommy friends” to consult. I panicked and started to Google, “What age do kids start preschool?” and was immediately overwhelmed by all the information I was gathering. After a few informal polls at the neighborhood park, I quickly realized every parent of a child my age was just as unprepared as I was. I had to find parents of children who were already in kindergarten to get the data I so badly needed. Through them, I developed a list of questions—all of which, for me at that time, could be answered with a “YES”:
      I have to go back to work. Will I need someone to watch my child all day? Is my child potty trained and able to ask to go to the bathroom when needed? Will my child be comfortable with other adults if I’m not there? Can my child listen, follow directions and handle a structured schedule? Does my child need to be socialized and learn how to play well with others? Another Google search later and I had a list of preschools in my area, and hit the road to check them out. And this was the hardest part: How do you make one of the most important decisions of your child’s formative years and know that you will not regret your decision? Answer: You go with your gut.
      Here is a list of basic questions to ask a preschool provider:
      What are your hours? Do I pay upfront, weekly, etc.? What if I’m late picking up my child? What is the extra fee? What is the ratio of kids to caregivers? What are the children’s ages in each group? Is breakfast served? Snacks? How are allergies handled? How long is nap time? Can we bring our own blanket, toy, etc.? What is the approach to socialization? Playtime? Inside? Outside? Will I be given updates on my child’s progress, how their day was, what they learned/achieved each day? Will I die without seeing every little milestone that will be accomplished when I’m not there? (Just kidding, but I know you were thinking this.) (As for No. 8: Of course you will be OK, and you’ll look back later and wonder what you would have done without so-and-so provider to help you through this portion of your child’s life.)
      Once you have determined who will have the pleasure of being around your child all day while you’re busy at work or wherever you need to be, you can ask for a “playdate” with the provider to let your child have some input. This will help your child to get acquainted with their new home-away-from-home and will help you to feel at ease and know that you are a great parent, and you will survive.
      Nikki Arana is a mother of two boys, ages 7 and 9, who attend St. Stanislaus Kostka Catholic school in West Town. She works at a law firm downtown and her free time is spent as a parent ambassador to help other families learn about their wonderful school.
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    • Amid the chaos of his daughter's circus-themed first-birthday party, this dad offers advice on how she can live a good life.
      My wife started planning our daughter’s first birthday party months ahead of time.
      It was an intricate circus theme, including 19 documented ideas that I will spare you of except for these: wine bottles whose labels were entitled “cirque du vin” or had circus elephants on them; three flavors of homemade popcorn served in bright red pails with chrome-plated scoops and red and white striped peanut bags; and mini circus-animal cake pops.
      If you want to have such a party, let me know and I’ll send you the whole list, but I will also probably try to sell you our leftover circus-animal paper plates. We killed the torpedo keg of Daisy Cutter, which was satisfying, and we pulled most of the plans off, except the next day we realized there were things we bought but never put out. And we spent most of the party working our asses off until, finally, after the singing and cake smearing, we were able talk to people. Then they left.
      My wife’s best idea for the party, though, was to request that the guests bring a sealed letter of advice for my daughter to open on her 18th birthday. Most everyone obliged, and we stacked them in a mini turquoise suitcase that a circus performer might use as he traveled across country by train.
      I wasn’t able to finish (or even start) my letter in time, so one night a few weeks later, I sat down with some paper and jotted down a stream-of-consciousness list of how to live a happy, healthy and balanced life, such as:
      You are smart and can do anything you want. Be confident in yourself and don’t ruminate on past decisions. Spend some stretch of your life with a regular yoga or meditation practice. Save 10–15% of every paycheck for retirement and live within your means. Write short stories about yourself and your experiences. I bought a nice leather journal where I‘ll rewrite it. Since this will only use the first few pages, I plan to use the rest to add more advice as it comes to mind, and to scribble outlines for potential stories about her that may or may not ever get written.
      My son’s first birthday (a cowboy theme) is coming up in June, and I know we’ll go all out again. But hopefully it’s a bit toned down from our daughter’s first. I’ll probably skip on the mechanical bull.
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    • If you're grateful for your partner, go beyond saying thank you by showing gratitude with these tips and ideas
      I might pride myself on saying thank you and being thoughtful, but like many of us I probably don't show enough gratitude to the person who does the most for me: my partner. So in the spirit of love and committing to show my appreciation more, I enlisted my husband's input on ideas:
      [Related: 5 tips for bringing back the partner in the partnership]
      Send something to work
      A no-brainer way to show gratitude is to add chocolate or a little something to a work bag. But organizing something to be delivered takes this one step further. While flowers are appreciated there are other items that will seem all the more thoughtful for their uniqueness. What about breakfast or a beautiful notebook?
      Make something
      I'm not talking about having to be a top-notch crafter. Greeting your loved one with a favorite cocktail when they arrive home will be creative enough for many. Alternately, utilizing those magical pens that write on icing can allow you to create an edible thank-you with minimal effort.
      Leave a message
      With very small children, some days even finding a few minutes for a grown-up conversation eludes you. So how about using those odd minutes (waiting for bottles to sterilize or milk to warm) to jot down a note. We recently purchased a whiteboard lightbox to convey cute, positive sentiments.
      Give a gift just because
      I'm always on the look-out for the perfect gift. Of course sometimes, it's ages till a birthday or significant occasion and I'm bursting to share it. So why not? Gifts are often much more appreciated when they're unexpected. What about a "Because it's Friday and we survived the week" present?
      [Related: Chicago date ideas that go beyond dinner and drinks]
      Arrange an A+ date night
      We've all read the well-meaning articles telling us how important it is to arrange regular date nights, but it's also important to ensure they're engaging. With minimal effort, you can find something truly interesting in our wonderful city. We're taking a cocktail and magic class, which should certainly prevent the conversation from turning to kids' schedules.
      Surprise them with a babysitter
      As well as prearranging nights out, my husband mentioned how nice it would be if I just surprised him with a sitter. Picking some time during the day (not at night when your kids are sleeping) and getting out to watch a game or to do some leisurely shopping together can seem quite luxurious.
      Create an at-home date night
      Of course, it's not always possible to find or afford a babysitter. So creating an at-home date night might be more doable. In the past I've put together a Spanish-themed evening, paring tapas, paella and sangria with a travel movie. We could almost believe we were on vacation.
      Allow some alone time
      As well as doing, don't underestimate the power of not doing. Allowing some alone time might be the ultimate way of showing your partner gratitude. In our household, we like to work out. While there are jogging strollers, being able to run along the lakefront on your own is a welcome opportunity to think, listen, or just switch off completely.
      However you choose to show your partner gratitude, it's doing something that matters. The power of thank you goes a long way.
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    • What do you do when your child has a fever? The sniffles? A Chicago pediatrician has these suggestions on managing flu season during Covid.
      Every patient encounter I have these days ends with the question, “So, doc, what should I do about my child going to daycare or school?” The question is general, and yet very personal. Each family has to weigh the risks and benefits, the costs both financial and emotional, and the balance of work and child safety that affect them. While this is an individual decision, each family is part of a community; at this time, more than ever, each family has to share in the communal responsibility to keep all of our children safe. Social distancing, wearing a mask, hand washing — you’ve heard these measures multiple times. But what else can you do? Be mindful of the following suggestions to keep your family and others healthy.
      [Related: What to expect when you're expecting during Covid]
      Sniffles
      Certainly, not every sniffle in your child is going to be due to coronavirus, but you have to act as if it could be. This means keeping your child home from daycare or school if they have the sniffles to see what else, if anything, develops over the next few days. If nothing else develops, you will need to have a discussion with your pediatrician about when it is safe to resume normal activity.
      Fevers
      Fevers have always been a reason to stay home and take good care of yourself. Not every fever is due to coronavirus, but you have to consider that it could be. This means potentially seeking care from your pediatrician earlier than you might have before. We will be there to evaluate and treat for all of the other causes of fever, cough and pain, too. Please: No treating your child with Tylenol or Motrin to “cover the fever” just to send them to school that day.
      Flu vaccine
      Pediatricians have long recommended yearly flu vaccines to help protect your child and your whole family from getting influenza. This year, more than ever, getting the flu shot could help decrease the potential for two similar illnesses (i.e., influenza and coronavirus) to be circulating at the same time. The flu shot is safe, and while it isn’t always a perfect match, it gives you more fighting power against the flu than not getting the shot.
      [Related: Supporting your gifted child during Covid]
      Emotional health
      Know that you aren’t alone. Children of all ages show different signs of stress — stuttering, poor sleep, poor appetite, tummy aches, acid reflux, recurrent bedwetting, poor grades, experimenting with drugs or alcohol, etc. You may feel more alone this year without your network of class parents or friends to discuss your child’s behavior. Your pediatrician is there to help and should be your resource to discuss your concerns.
      This year may pose many challenges, but we all have the same goal: a healthy educational environment for your child.
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    • Here are some easy ways you can help your kids record feelings and milestones surrounding a most unusual year.
      My family isn't counting the days, weeks or even the months anymore, but we are counting the memories.
      What began as a couple of weeks holed up at home could have morphed into a lost year. Instead, we chose to begin each day with the question, What memories are we creating today? Capturing those memories—both joyous and challenging—has become central to our daily lives. Here are some easy ways you can help your kids record feelings and milestones surrounding a most unusual year.
      [Related: How to celebrate kids' birthdays while social distancing]
      Memory book
      Inspired by a school assignment, our children began filling out and coloring in printables related to the new normal. We decided to supplement these with our own pages—including handprints and comic strips—with the ultimate goal of printing a hardcover book.
      Artwork
      Allowing youngsters to express their view of a pandemic world through art is helpful in gauging their understanding and how they’re feeling. My youngest daughter, an aspiring doctor, made a detailed image of a Covid-19 patient and a truly creative series of virus watercolors.
      Memory box
      To preserve three-dimensional pieces, creating a memory box makes for another interactive project. Adding rocks painted with messages of hope or magazines exploring issues of the day, such as Time for Kids or National Geographic, will be interesting for years to come.
      Time capsule
      Or how about creating a time capsule for the next generation to find? Including a newspaper seems like a no-brainer, but ask your kids what else might convey our lives today. A face mask? A popular toy? A recent book? Let their imaginations get to work.
      Newspaper reporters
      Children can also be encouraged to create their own newspapers. Explaining that we’re living through history really brings home the momentousness of the current situation. Task them with becoming reporters or bloggers and charge them with noting what is happening right now.
      [Related: These thoughtful gifts prove showing you care doesn't cost a thing]
      Video diary
      Budding movie producers can capture these memories in video format. Immediate family members can be interviewed in person, while Zoom or FaceTime can be used to connect with folks in other parts of the country or world for a broader perspective. How do their experiences differ? How are we all the same?
      Movie poster
      If this year were a movie, what would it be called? Who would be the main characters and who would be the stars? Summarizing 2020 in poster format is another creative way to encourage reflection and put the year into a visual format.
      Poetry and song
      Of course, memories can also be captured lyrically. There are many different types of poetry youngsters can try their hand at, with free verse or narrative well suited to individual expression. Alternately, given a few musical instruments, kids will quickly develop their own songs.
      While there is so much of this year we may choose to forget, for our children these are the days they’re witnessing significant history, and as such are worth remembering. Capturing some of these memories in a way that works for your family acts as a counterbalance to the aimless drifting of 2020. It can even bring some hope during an uncertain year.
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    • If we are serious about dismantling systemic racism, we as parents need to actively model for our children the meaning of Black Lives Matter.
      With the reemergence of the Black Lives Matter movement and other efforts to challenge racism in our society, there has been a push to support Black businesses. Families all over Chicago have poured in their money and support to local owners as a part of the national allyship for the Black Lives Matter movement. This support is not only coming from individuals, it’s also coming from multi-billion dollar companies like Netflix and Grubhub.
      It is much needed for Black businesses because of the economic downturn that is having devastating effects on almost every sector of our society. But I must say, most of the support feels somewhat disingenuous because it’s not addressing the need for deeper, long-lasting change. Since the Great Migration, Black families who came to Chicago from the Jim Crow South hoped to reach a financial status that would award them a life free from oppression. Unfortunately, most of these Southern transplants fell victim to systemic racism, domestic terrorism and predatory lenders. Today, as we know, mirrors the past.
      I imagine that some kids today have overheard an adult comment on racism in the U.S. as an issue related to the bootstrap theory. It is when one claims that the descendants of enslaved Black people are not working hard enough today. They say that the work ethic of most Black people does not match that of impoverished arrivals from other countries, which explains the racial inequality in the US. But what these adults never take into account is that generational wealth has often been stolen from Black people time and time again, without consequence, after the end of slavery. 
      As a child, I had the fortune of growing up on both the South and North sides of Chicago. It was (and still is) normal for me to see Black entrepreneurs. It is also normal for me to see Black businesses close down. Sadly, there were far more storefronts, salons and restaurants owned by Black people (from all over the African diaspora) in the 80s to the early 2000s than there is now.
      Of course, it’s not just Black people who are suffering during this crisis, but they are being disproportionately affected by multiple crises at the same time. Long before our parents existed, there were plenty of independent Black communities that fulfilled the bootstrap theory and created prosperity for themselves. The residents in these communities were dentists, bankers, artists, tailors, carpenters, and so on, all living out their American dream, until, for too many of them, it became a nightmare.
      Entire towns or neighborhoods were destroyed due to white rage at Black success. In predominantly Black communities like Tulsa, OK, Wilmington, NC, Atlanta, GA, Elaine, AK, Colfax, Rosewood, FL, residents of African descent had their dreams stolen by angry white mobs who felt threatened by Black prosperity. In our own state capital, Springfield, there is a legacy of white violence targeting Black wealth.
      The erasure of these traumatic events from school history classes has been a deep betrayal of an honest history of this country. What would be your answer if your child were to ask you “How can one pull themselves up with their straps on their boots if the boot itself has been stolen?” What can we as a city do to reverse these crimes against some of our Black residents, who are the descendants of people that were brought here to build this nation to its financial greatness? 
      If we are serious Chicagoans as we are as Americans about dismantling systemic racism, we as parents need to actively model for our children the meaning of Black Lives Matter. Perhaps we can start by supporting activists and taking our children to witness us invest in a Black bank who is countering policies that hinder prosperity within historically Black communities. Supporting the Black Lives Matter must become a verb and not just a hashtag.
      Resources
      171 Ways to Donate in Support of Black Lives and Communities of Color Support the National Black Chamber of Commerce 180 Black-Owned Businesses to Support Black Farm & Grocery Businesses Successful Black Communities Destroyed by White Supremacists Keisha Mathew is currently providing counseling to youth and their families; a role she has had for over 17 years. She holds a master's in social work, with a concentration in community schools from the University of Chicago. When she and her partner are not fulfilling their multiple roles for their children during the pandemic, they are advocating for the children & families of Chicago. Follow her on Instagram at @wanderlust.writer.creator.
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    • Pregnant during Covid? Here's what to expect during OB appointments, labor and delivery, and postpartum.
      For those growing a family during the Covid-19 global pandemic, there may be additional concerns, worries or fears on your mind. While we continue to learn more about Covid, pregnancy has not been proven to be a contributing factor for increased vulnerability to the virus. However, prenatal care, labor and delivery, and post-birth care will look different from the pre-Covid era. Here's a guide on what to expect when you're expecting during this pandemic. 
      Pregnancy
      Each health care provider—obstetrician, family physician or midwife—will always bring their own training, past experiences and approaches to prenatal care. During the pandemic, each practice will have its own policies and procedures around medical prenatal visits during Covid. Establish a partnership with your provider—ask them your questions about what to expect for your pregnancy care.   
      In the Chicago area, most providers and practices have substituted some of the standard in-person appointments with telehealth visits. If you are experiencing a low-risk pregnancy, this should be just fine for you and your baby. If you or your baby have any high-risk factors or complications, your provider will be working with you directly to provide the most appropriate medical prenatal care. 
      For an in-person visit, expect to be asked screening questions upon arrival and to have your temperature checked. If you are experiencing any symptoms, call your provider’s office before going in to see them. Until testing is more widely available, don’t expect to be tested during routine prenatal visits.
      One of the most significant changes in prenatal care is that your partner may not be able to join you at most or any of the routine visits, though they may be able to attend an ultrasound appointment. You can minimize potential disappointment by finding out in advance whether your partner can come in with you. If not, ask if you can have them on the phone or a web call during the appointment or if they can give you a recording of baby’s heartbeat to share.
      What if you test positive during pregnancy?
      Your provider is going to tell you what they recommend, based on what trimester you are in and what else may be going on with your pregnancy. As always, ask your questions so you understand the recommendations and what options you may have.
      Final weeks of pregnancy
      Talk about what options will or will not be available to you at the birth location. Have this conversation by the 36th week of pregnancy, because most babies, on their own, will arrive between 37–42 weeks. Do you have a strong preference for elements of your birth experience? Knowing what is possible may help you feel more prepared when your labor begins.
      In addition to your provider, you can check out Birth Guide Chicago’s COVID-19 page for updates on local hospital policies and support people. Having the support of a labor support doula—in-person or virtually—can also be an invaluable resource for navigating pregnancy and birth. 
      Labor and delivery
      If you are planning to give birth at a hospital, here are some things to be prepared for:
      Most providers are recommending that you stay home for as long as you are able to manage the sensations of labor before you come to the hospital or birth location. Even if you are planning for or decide you want an epidural, the longer you stay at home the shorter your hospital stay will be. You will be given a Covid test in triage, in addition to the standard triage/admitting procedures. If you test negative, then things will likely proceed as they would in non-Covid times.  If you are having a scheduled induction or Cesarean, you will likely take a Covid test a few days prior.  There will be a limit of one to two people who can be with you. Some hospitals have limited it to one, others are allowing a partner and doula. Whomever your support person is, they will not be given a Covid test at the birth location. They should expect to be masked the entire time, and they will need to stay in the room with you. (Partners, pack extra snacks and clothes!)  Each location has different policies on whether the mom-to-be will be required to wear a mask, regardless of the result of Covid test.  Expect all hospital staff to be masked and gloved when interacting with you.  What if you test positive for Covid when in labor? 
      Expect to have additional measures put into place to keep staff safe while ensuring your safety and baby’s safety. You can talk with your provider in advance about the specific practices of your birth location. Because this is a new virus, there is still much we don’t know. The specifics of what your care will look like during labor, delivery and postpartum, as well as baby’s care, vary by birth location. But expect to be placed in a special room, to potentially have no partner/doula allowed in with you, and for all staff to be wearing PPE. 
      Postpartum
      Visitors will likely be limited to the partner and possibly the doula. Friends, family members and older children will have to wait to see you and baby once you are home.
      Most hospitals are discharging new moms and babies after 24 hours for a vaginal birth and three days for Cesarean birth. Discharge remains dependent upon Mom being cleared by her provider and baby being cleared by the pediatrician to go home. Breastfeeding/chest-feeding is safe and recommended! 
      When can friends and family visit? Pediatrician recommendations on who and when non-household members come into your circle vary, but generally the baby’s 2-month vaccination appointment can be considered a time marker. You will need to assess the risks and benefits for yourself and your family to determine when you are ready for visitors. There is no one set time that it will feel right for every new family.
      During pregnancy and the first year of parenting, the only constant is change. How we each respond to change is personal but doesn’t need to be isolating. There are many resources that are accessible during Covid: childbirth education and preparation classes have moved online, and so have many pregnant and new parent support groups (check out NPN's New Moms Groups). Therapy and other mental health services have been made easier to access through most insurance companies and with telehealth. Labor support and postpartum doulas, as well as lactation consultants (IBCLCs), continue to offer in-person and virtual care.  
      Pregnancy and postpartum during Covid may be different but you can still find plenty of support. I hope your new baby brings you joy during this uncertain time! 
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    • Embrace the challenges of a socially distant Halloween with these creative Halloween ideas for kids and parents during Covid.
      “Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative” – Judy Gold
      Never has that been more true than now. So how do you embrace creativity and find a way to celebrate during these strange times?
      Lights tour
      When our children were babies we would stroll through the neighborhood on a night prior to Halloween, just enjoying the lights away from the crowds. This activity has now become a part of our annual tradition. We’re truly thankful that we can continue this part of our typical celebration during this distinctly abnormal year.
      Pumpkin-decorating contest
      To make a neighborhood tour more personal, you could challenge other families to a pumpkin-decorating contest. Give everyone a few days to check out the competition, then either vote using an online poll (for the truly competitive) or make everyone a winner. 
      Spooky treasure hunt
      For another distanced activity, create your own neighborhood treasure hunt—with a twist. Take a family walk to spot all the spooky chalk drawings your friends have sketched. Check them all off for a cauldron of goodies at the final stop–your home!
      Party at home
      Hats off to anyone who creates their own Zoom party. We can’t quite muster up the will to get online after a week of virtual schooling. Instead, we’re going to party en famille with indoor trick-or-treating. We’re adding some inexpensive orange and black balloons (no helium required) for a homestyle ball pit. And if it’s nice outside, a pinata filled to the brim with candy would seem ideally suited to the occasion.
      Embrace being inside
      For once you won’t have to worry about sensible weather-appropriate clothing, so just let your little ones dress up however they please. Task the younger members of your household with writing a script for their random characters, then let them entertain you with a play. Let’s face it, these dress-up clothes are destined to get plenty of wear over the long, likely-stay-at-home months ahead.
      Costumes with masks
      And if you are venturing outside, finding costumes that include masks is not that hard. (Aren’t they always reminding us not to bring masks into school at this time of year?) We’ve been thinking about ways to bring virus-protection into costumes. The stores have some cute animal face masks which would be perfect paired with feline onesies. Similarly, dressing up as doctors or surgeons is easy-peasy.
      Non-traditional parade
      At this time of year you’re likely mourning your typical Halloween parade, but try remembering that it doesn’t have to follow the usual format. You can have your children walk past the local shops where they will definitely get the desired attention. We might just stand in line at the local donut haunt and have folks filter past us. What’s more fall-appropriate than eating apple cider sugary treats?
      Character visit
      There are services where you can hire a character to visit. However, if you have a bunch of parents that are good sports, how about having one of them dress up as a superhero or other fan favorite. (A dad who showed up to daycare as a unicorn is always remembered as a star.) By waving to the kids at a safe distance they will be like the Santa of Halloween.
      Look to other cultures
      Sometimes it’s better to embrace change rather than try to do what you always did and fall short. Other cultures can provide inspiration. El Dia de los Muertos is an obvious alternative to Halloween. Or offer up gifts of food to pacify hungry ghosts like they do during the Hong Kong festival of Yue Lan. We might celebrate British Guy Fawkes Day on November 5 with a fire pit in lieu of a bonfire.
      Now, more than ever, it’s important to teach our children to overcome hurdles, build resilience and employ creativity. What is more emblematic of that than a re-imagined Halloween?
      Fiona Royer lives in Lincoln Park with her husband, Randall, and their three young children. Originally from the U.K. with a business and creative background, she now works in the Chicago philanthropic community. She believes that giving is the key to a fulfilling life.
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    • The rollout of Chicago's Universal PreK initiative, explained. Find out when free preschool for 4-year-olds is coming to your neighborhood.
      Public preschool admissions, procedures and offerings have been an ever-changing process year after year. This year is no exception as CPS is once again in the midst of changes to their Chicago Early Learning programs (formerly known as Ready to Learn, Preschool for All and others). 
      The newest change is a Universal PreK (UPK) component, but CPS is rolling it out in phases, which further confuses and muddles the landscape.
      This latest initiative was announced by former Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who left office before it could be fleshed out or implemented. While the intent was to have all 4-year-olds in Chicago eligible to receive free preschool (at a local school or community site) by the 2021-2022 school year, the actual details were unclear—and Covid has stretched the timing even further. Needless to say, the rollout has been confusing for many parents but the hope is that it will provide more opportunities for all students.
      [Related: How to apply for CPS preschools]
      The original plan was to have the first phase provide 28 highest-need communities on the South and West Sides (and one in Uptown) access in their neighborhood schools and nearby community sites. Then this school year, 35 more high-need communities were expected to roll out and, finally, in the 2021-2022 school year, all Chicago 4-year-olds were expected to have nearby neighborhood or community sites available to them. Due to Covid delays and funding issues, the actual timing is in flux. Read more at Chicago Early Learning & UPK FAQs. The original neighborhood phasing for UPK is here.
      As background, preschool is not required in Illinois, but families do try to have their children enrolled in some programs for socialization or kindergarten readiness. Besides the myriad private options, there are several “public” options that are not necessarily tuition-free. CPS houses preschool programs in school facilities with space, and this past year many programs were through Chicago Early Learning, which had sliding-scale tuition for mostly 7-hour-a-day programs for 3- and 4-year-olds. These programs opened their applications in the spring and, as of now, there are still many available spots in various centers but that also has to do with pandemic challenges. 
      [Related: Preschool vs. Pre-K: What's the difference?]
      CPS also hosts a small number of Tuition-Based Preschools that are typically popular with families whose older child attends that school (but there is no guarantee the preschool child can attend the same school for kindergarten without applying first). 
      CPS also has three tuition-free programs that begin at age 3 (Suder and Drummond) or age 4 (Inter-American) and the student can stay until 8th grade. These are the only preschool programs you apply to via the go.cps.edu portal.
      With the addition of Universal PreK, the goal is to ultimately provide free preschool to all Chicago 4-year-olds. Unfortunately, the actual implementation has encountered some speed bumps along the way. 
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    • Communication with your co-parent is key.
      Co-parenting is always a balancing act, but add your child's remote learning into the mix and you could have a real challenge on your hands.
      As always, communication is key. Each parent should be informed on what the back to school process looks like and all available options, knowing that with COVID-19, recommendations and options are changing every day. Discuss with your co-parent the concerns you each have as it pertains to healthcare, your work schedule, and your child’s educational, emotional and social needs. 
      [Related: How to co-parent during the coronavirus pandemic]
      What are some options you can consider? Perhaps a temporary modification of the current schedule to better accommodate the child’s new hybrid learning model or remote learning schedule. Seek out advice from teachers and counselors at your children’s school to help create a good parenting schedule and break up of work among both households. Perhaps brainstorming together about co-teaching different subjects and classes, coming up with activities or homework that can involve both parties. 
      Children will also be in a time of transition during the period of remote or hybrid learning. It is vital as parents to be on the same team with one another, trying to create a fun and educational environment in both homes, finding new and exciting ways to teach and learn given the circumstances. 
      However, co-parents may be facing certain issues that nuclear families do not. For example, a point of contention may arise over which home is more equipped to facilitate remote learning during the week. Do both parents have adequate access to a computer, an extra room or office, or even faster internet? Another issue may be that one parent’s work schedule may allow for more hands-on learning with the child while the other’s work schedule poses time constraints. Parents need to communicate with one another and determine what the best remote learning option is for their child.
      [Related: Have a difficult ex? Co-parenting is still possible with these tools]
      Apps such as Talking Parents and Our Family Wizard should be used for parents to check in and make sure the children are being kept up to date on the school curriculum. Calendar applications within the OurFamilyWizard program can be used to update the other parent on homework for the week and what work has already been completed. Parents also should communicate to ensure that consistency is being maintained. It is expected that both parents get on the same page to facilitate remote learning in equal or similar environments, support one another, and communicate about issues the child may experience.
      If you and your co-parent are worried about the transition to online learning (and parenting) or have already been faced with hiccups when trying to compromise, seeking third-party help is always an option. Mediation, Parenting Coordination or involving a Guardian ad Litem may be the best resources for helping you both come to a healthy resolution or fair compromise. These forms or third-party help can be used to avoid costly litigation and help parents stay grounded in the most important thing: the way your child can learn, progress, and transition to remote learning with ease.
      The Law Office of Erin M. Wilson specializes in family law, litigation, mediation and parenting coordination. 
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    • You can create heartfelt and meaningful gifts that don’t cost anything, just a little time and some thoughtfulness – and that’s what true gifting is all about. 
      Photo by Dominika Roseclay from Pexels

      We’re all feeling the pinch. Whether you’re job searching or just unsure what the future holds, saving a few bucks here and there is very welcome these days. I like to advocate for recognizing folks with gifts, but those gifts don’t have to break the bank. These strange times have prompted me to think creatively and find a few zero-cost options to consider. 
      [Related: How to celebrate kids' birthdays while social distancing]
      Artwork 
      The obvious zero-cost gift is one of the precious masterpieces that your little ones churn out. Let’s face it, that archival box has more than a couple of pieces you could part with. Digitizing and emailing pictures is super easy. But with just a little more effort, mounting them on some recycled cardstock (even a cereal or pizza box) produces something tangible. 
      Photos 
      Photos are another no-brainer, either of your kids or an image they took themselves. A photo doesn’t have to be another ubiquitous pretty shot, either. We’ve created Warhol-esque pop art, coloring black and white selfies with neon markers. Adding some sparkle with Photoshop Express provides enough magic to satisfy aspiring wizards and princesses. 
      Videos 
      Similarly, video can be used to recognize special occasions. With the Stop Motion app (free), we’ve pulled together still images and set them to music, allowing unicorns to frolic and magnetic letters to spell out messages of hope. Clips (also free) is another one we’ve been experimenting with. The fun backgrounds and effects (such as Star Wars scenery or a sketched appearance) really add a wow factor. 
      Homegrown 
      Maybe this is the year you actually watered those tomato plants regularly and were rewarded with a good yield – enough to share. Or perhaps you nurtured a beautiful flower garden and know a couple of stems would cheer up a friend. Tied with some ribbon, homegrown items always make touching gifts, now more so than ever. 
      [Related: Reduce the glut of kids' birthday gifts with these fun party ideas]
      Actions 
      Of course, gifts can simply take the form of a kind action. An offer of help is often better appreciated than more stuff. By giving your time you’re showing just how much your fellow citizens mean to you. The whole family can work together to tidy up a neighbor’s front yard or offer to run an errand. 
      Decorations 
      Alternately you might decide to add some fence décor to mark a birthday, using banners and decorations you already own. Likewise, making a sidewalk chalk drawing is another wonderful way to spread some cheer, and makes for a lovely surprise – no occasion necessary. 
      Cards 
      Don’t overlook a simple letter or notecard, either. We often neglect to put pen to paper, and yet it really shows thought and effort. Producing the card yourself adds an extra special touch and can be rewarding for the creator as well as the recipient. Try using pressed flowers or fashioning collages with old magazines. 
      Poems 
      We recently commissioned a poet to create a unique piece for an engagement celebration. Poetry has long been something bestowed by an author upon someone esteemed. While we’re not all practiced at prose, developing your own haiku (3 lines totaling 17 syllables) or nonet (one to Google) can make for interesting dinner conversation. 
      With so much uncertainty and grief in the world, it's essential to show others you care. With a little ingenuity, you can create heartfelt and meaningful gifts that don’t cost anything monetary, just a little time and some thoughtfulness – and that’s what true gifting is all about. 
      Fiona Royer lives in Lincoln Park with her husband, Randall, and their three young children. Originally from the U.K. with a business and creative background, she now works in the Chicago philanthropic community. She believes that giving is the key to a fulfilling life. 

       
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    • Very willing to have the baby and not the man, this Chicago mom embarked on a journey to become a single mother by choice.
      Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels
       
      My long-term relationship that had been fizzling for quite a while had finally snuffed out when it occurred to me that I should become a single-mother-by choice. I was always able to picture myself as a mother but the image of myself as a wife was hazy. Very willing to have the baby and not the man, I started to strategize on how to make that happen.
      [Related: Organizing for single parents]
      WHAT IS A SINGLE-MOTHER-BY-CHOICE (SMC)?
      Sometimes called a choice mom or only parent, a single-mother-by-choice is a woman who decides to become a mother with full understanding that she will be the only parent. Or as the 2015 article, the single mother by choice myth defines it, “she’s the epitome of the modern independent woman who wants to have it all, career and family ─ taking her future into her hands, acting decisively, and doing what it takes to achieve her goal of motherhood, with no need for a man. A single-mother-by-choice will pursue motherhood with the aid of donor sperm from either a known donor, with a sperm bank, or private donation. I went with a sperm bank.
      HOW DOES IT WORK?
      Initially, my plan was intrauterine insemination (IUI), where sperm is placed inside the uterus. Some women are brave enough to do it on their own at home. I wanted to go through a doctor. In doing so, I researched the best in the Chicagoland area and went with Chicago IVF. After sharing my medical history, I underwent a hysterosalpingogram, an X-ray of my uterus and fallopian tubes. I learned that in vitro fertilization (IVF), where the sperm and egg are fertilized outside of the body and then placed inside the uterus, was my only option. Due to the rigorous care schedule, I transferred my care to the Fertility Center of Illinois in River North because it was closer to home and work. Speaking of work, in Illinois, there is a state mandate that health insurance must cover fertility treatment, including up to four cycles of IVF.
      BUT HOW DOES IT WORK AS A PARENT?
      The African proverb, it takes a village to raise a child, rings loud and true for an only parent. If not to help in childcare or to have someone in case of emergency, you will need a sane adult to let you know that you will survive. I’ve been fortunate enough to have the help of my parents—without them, working from home during the shelter-in-place would have been impossible.
      ANY ADVICE FOR SOMEONE CONSIDERING SMC-HOOD?
      Working to get pregnant is well, work. Don’t be afraid to ask all of the questions. Choose a healthcare team that you’re comfortable with, especially if you’re a woman of color as racial and ethnic disparities in pregnancy-related deaths persist. Get a full physical workup before you start. Keep a journal because pregnancy comes with a lot of feelings and your journal can be your listening ear. Focus on what you have and not on what you’re missing. 
      It took me two years to become pregnant. Out of those 730 days, Mother’s and Father’s Days were some of the roughest. The first year, I was starting IVF and had no clue if it would work. I skipped church and their Mother’s Day parade and focused all the energy I had after a good shower cry on my mom. That Father’s Day was rough because I was working to become an SMC and I was already rife with worry of how my baby-to-be would feel about the holiday seeing that she or he wouldn’t have a conventional dad. 
      By the next year, I was an IVF pro, but I still needed a distraction. I spent that holiday season uplifting other moms-to-be and hosted a Twitter giveaway for a self-care kit. However, the nervousness around Father’s Day persisted. My mom was the first person I told my decision to become an SMC. “A baby needs a dad,” she said, and I agreed. But when I told her that I didn’t want to miss my chance to become a mother because I didn’t have a man, she quickly gave me her blessing. Yet, that didn’t stop me from praying that my love for my child would be enough.
      My third embryo transfer, in which my father drove me to the doctor, was a charm. That February, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Mother’s Day of that year was going to be great. My mom and I made plans to brunch with her best friend and her daughters, all of whom are mothers. I would finally get to celebrate with the cool kids. I even bought me and the baby boy matching shirts. But the Thursday before Mother’s Day, my father had a stroke. My mother spent the holiday in the hospital with my dad, while I celebrated my first Mother’s Day worrying and taking awkward selfies of me and my son. My dad’s recovery was slow but steady. He was still in the hospital for Father’s Day. Me, mom, and the baby sat around his bed and ate salads from Portillo’s.
      This year, while Mother’s and Father’s Day was off-kilter for the entire country, I’ve finally hit a stride and that blanket of burden is gone. My son is growing into his own person every single day and I’m confident in my ability to parent him, for now. This first year of parenting has already taught me that he will change and change. Even this Father’s Day felt better. My dad is doing as well as we could expect, and I’ve begun to practice my spiel on how I will tell my son know that he’s donor-conceived. I’ve even had the opportunity to connect with two handfuls of his donor siblings ─ giving him a peek (when he’s ready) into his other side, albeit extremely non-conventional. And maybe now I will channel all that Mother’s and Father’s Day tension into a holiday more deserving, like National Brownie Day. 
      Venus Brady uses her love of writing and reading in her job in healthcare marketing communications. A lifelong Chicagoan, she roots for the Bulls and Bears from Chicago's South Side with her son, Mars, her dog, Phife, and a strong coffee.
       
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    • Anti-racist resources to guide you in your work to dismantle anti-Blackness for your children, and everyone's children.
       
      Since the pandemic began, it has been hard to deny that racism continues to hinder people of color’s well being. Asian Americans have faced harassment and even violence with the tacit approval of the president, since he referred to COVID-19 as the “Chinese virus” and later the “Kung Flu.” Additionally, we’ve seen the harmful consequences of our modern lifestyle of convenience on communities of color. People of Latinx and African descent are disproportionately the drivers delivering our meals, stocking our food in the grocery stores, and boxing our online orders. For the first time in my generation, many of us are seeing how our luxury requires that these essential workers risk their health. Coronavirus cases for Black and Latinx essential workers are the highest in the nation compared to whites. 
      [Related: Show some love to these Chicago Black-owned businesses]
      Like most Americans, I have seen and heard of countless incidents of police reacting to Black lives as if they are villains from a Marvel film. Let’s be honest, long before the pandemic, it has become something most Americans have glanced at, chose to be ambivalent about and have found ways to justify the excessive use of force.
      If you have a social media account, you know that the frequency of police brutality is shocking. Every day, residents are documenting footage that has changed the perspectives of millions of people who have never seen (innocent or accused) people treated this way. You, or someone you know, may have tried to find justifications for the brutality aimed at unarmed people of color: their flawed track record (George Floyd); they didn’t follow the police’s commands (Philando Castille); he went through an abandoned building (Ahmaud Arbury). But what can you say about Breonna Taylor who was sleeping in her home with her partner when she was shot by police? What have you told your children about all of the racial trauma and injustice happening to people of color in America? Do you explain to them that the root of racial injustice is white privilege?
      The Rodney King verdict showed me as a child that my skin was not valued in this country as much as white skin. Today, my brown skin children are learning the same harsh truth. Despite the progress of the Civil Rights movement of my mother’s generation to the “post-racial” Obama era of mine, the structures that hold white supremacy in place are as strong as ever. Despite the great efforts I make as a parent to position my child to obtain the American dream, they are still subjected to racial trauma simply because of their skin color. 
      In order to eradicate this 401-year-old virus, we have to acknowledge that anti-Blackness in all of its forms--institutional, interpersonal, covert and overt--is the culprit. White Americans have to step up to take this undeserving burden off the backs of Black people. Non-Black parents of color must also do the work so they don’t become accomplices to anti-Blackness. 
      So, where should you start? Below, you will find some remarkable resources to guide you in your work to dismantle anti-Blackness, for my children and for yours.
      Resources to build your antiracist practice
      For parents of all hues:
      Black Lives Matter
      Antiracism Project
      10 Words and Phrases You Might Not Know Are Racist (Red Tricycle)
      Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America
      Recommended Resources for Supporting the Black Lives Matter Movement (Lecture in Progress)
      For Latinx families:
      Why Every Latino Has a Responsibility to the Black Lives Matter Movement (Repeating Islands blog)
      For Asian & South Asian families:
      Anti-Racism Resources (Asian Women for Health)
      VIDEO: We Cannot Stay Silent About George Floyd (Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj)
      For babies (it's never too early to build their antiracist vocabulary!):
      A Is for Activist board book
       
      Keisha Mathew is currently providing counseling to youth and their families; a role she has had for over 17 years. She holds a master's in social work, with a concentration in community schools from the University of Chicago. When she and her partner are not fulfilling their multiple roles for their children during the pandemic, they are advocating for the children & families of Chicago. Follow her on Instagram at @wanderlust.writer.creator.
       
       
       
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    • Parents of gifted children encounter unique challenges when it comes to keeping their gifted children engaged, active and curious--challenges amplified by Covid-19. Here are a few ways you can support your gifted child during the pandemic.
      Parenting during Covid-19 is a new experience for everyone, but what if you’re the parent of a gifted child? There’s often a misconception that teaching gifted kids is easier, but this isn’t necessarily true. 
      When my own gifted children were young, I was faced with the constant misconception that, because they were gifted, they didn’t need extra support. That couldn’t be further from the truth! Gifted children require just as much time, energy, and understanding as anyone--only in their own, unique way.
      [Related: Easing your child's anxiety about the upcoming school year]
      What makes gifted children different?
      Gifted children, like any children, are complex. The National Association for Gifted Children lists the following as common characteristics of gifted children: 
      Insatiable curiosity with constant questioning Advanced levels of moral judgment and a strong sense of justice Independence in academic work High energy, spontaneity, and enthusiasm Passion about topics and perseverance in learning about those topics High standards for oneself and high levels of frustration when those standards aren’t met Emotional sensitivity, empathy, and awareness of being different  How can I support my gifted child during Covid-19?
      Parents of gifted children encounter unique challenges when it comes to keeping their gifted children engaged, active and curious--challenges amplified by Covid-19. Here are a few ways you can support your gifted child during the pandemic:
      Provide space for creative projects. Because gifted children are so passionate, they will likely have strong interests. Find time each day, or at least each week, for them to pursue interests outside of the regular school curriculum. This can be as simple as setting aside 30 minutes for your child to practice guitar, build a model of the solar system, or create an at-home museum. Allow your child to choose the topic and don’t get too involved beyond offering support. 
      Take a step back academically (when appropriate). It may seem counterintuitive, especially if your child is academically focused, but resist the urge to hover. Since many gifted children are independent learners, they likely have school work under control. You may need to occasionally assist with work habits, technology and organization, but hold off on asking teachers for extra assignments or quizzing your child after dinner each night. Allow the extra time in your child’s schedule to be used for creative pursuits that excite them. 
      Also, avoid falling for the misconception that, once a child is labeled as gifted, they’ll never struggle or fail. It’s important to note that “giftedness” isn’t universal. For example, your child could be gifted in math, but struggle with reading comprehension.
      Focus on effort and growth, rather than success and failure. One major roadblock for gifted kids is that they might give up easily. Since some academic concepts come naturally, they may hit a roadblock when faced with learning a difficult skill. Gifted children often don’t do well with failure!
      Researcher Carol Dweck found that most people either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. People with fixed mindsets think their intelligence is set, whereas those with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with practice and effort (even if they’ve failed in the past!). They have the perseverance to overcome struggles and look at mistakes as learning opportunities. 
      Take some time to discuss failure with your child, and even cheer them on when their efforts don’t produce the “right” result. Help them reframe success around the effort they put into a task, rather than whether they arrive at the correct answer.
      Intentionally address social and emotional needs. All children are struggling with some level of social isolation and anxiety during the pandemic, but this can be exacerbated for gifted students who often have a natural awareness of other people’s emotions. 
      During this time, it’s important to address these issues head-on. To combat social isolation, try to set up social activities for your child, whether it’s a Zoom session with grandparents or an interactive computer game. 
      For gifted children who experience increased anxiety due to Covid-19, be sure to validate their fears and feelings rather than telling them everything will be okay. You might say, for example, “It’s normal to be scared. I’m scared, too.” 
      Take care of yourself, too. Try to keep your own feelings in check through exercise, mindfulness and plenty of sleep. The more even-keeled you are, the more your child will pick up on it. 
      These are uncertain times, but understanding your gifted child and working to support them at home goes a long way. We’re all in this together!
      Lemi-Ola Erinkitola is an award-winning educator, parent coach, children's author and the founder of The Critical Thinking Child (CTC). Her life work and passion is helping parents nurture their child's learning potential in an engaging and joyful way, so kids can fast track learning, discover their gifts, and reclaim family time. 
       
       
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    • The Covid pandemic could be an opportunity to create more equity in your partnership.
      Even in the best of times, being great at both parenting and partnership requires deft maneuvering. Throw in a global pandemic, and many of the struggles two-parent households are experiencing shine in glaringly bright light. 
      But it’s possible this time could forever redefine our roles in the home and our relationships with our partners. Simply put, sheltering-in-place together has answered the question around what we do in a day. We’ve always juggled a lot but there’s less curiosity about what the other parent has done, is doing, and will do for the family. Still, I’d like you to ask yourself:
      Who’s the default parent in your child’s eyes? Are you happy with how well you work with your partner to tackle the never-ending list?  Do you fairly split the domestic work in (and out of) your home?  Your time should be valued equally to your partner’s. You shouldn’t have to feel resentful or like you’re nagging to receive help from your spouse. If things feel inefficient at home or you feel like you’re secretly keeping score on what they do versus what you do in a day, there’s an opportunity for improvement.
      [Related: Will my relationship survive this virus?]
      My husband and I share two children, five and one and a half years old—both boys. I run two companies. He works full time and is the breadwinner of our household. We’re making it work during the pandemic by having clear discussions, separate tasks and respect for each other’s roles. Here’s how you can get started on the path to equity in your partnership. 
      Have a direct conversation. Changing the dynamic with your spouse is a difficult conversation to have, but it’s worth having. Most folks will react positively to a direct approach, an explicit and collaborative request for help. Consider your approach. How you communicate directly affects the way you are heard in the world. This also holds true in your own home. It’s important to be thoughtful in your approach. Deliver your ask for help in a way that engages and invites your partner to have a conversation with you. To start you might say, “All this time at home has me thinking about how we run our house and manage the kids. I think we both see how much it takes. I’m wondering if there’s a way to make things feel easier, so we can get stuff done faster. Want to make some time to talk about later?” Know your intention going into the conversation so you can manage the outcome. You’re asking for a true collaborator in the system, so put some value behind it. Give them a reason for buying-in to the plan so there’s mutual understanding. For example, your partner may be really happy to hear that buying into this will bring you more happiness, that you’ll be a more fulfilled spouse. Or they may be happy to hear that they’ll finally be taking the lead on certain things. Keep tasks separate. There needs to be a clear division of who’s doing what, and when, to maximize efficiency and minimize disappointment. Trust matters, so give your partner space to take care of things from start to finish.  In my family, important dates and details are added to a shared calendar so the person responsible for that to-do has all they need to pull it off without bothering the other person for information.  Continue the conversation. This is an ongoing conversation. It’s about teamwork and the mutual respect you have for one another. My partner and I talk household/kid-stuff regularly so nothing is left up for interpretation. We do this every day while making the bed in the morning or while we’re having breakfast. While it took time for both of us to fall into this way of life, we now unapologetically rely on it, and as a result, are less exhausted by day-to-day adulting.  [Related: What it's like to be a parent with Covid]
      When couples habitually choose to divide and conquer their to-do list, they are choosing a new way to talk about what they need. They’re recognizing that time is precious and by creating household efficiencies, there’s space in the day for what matters. Like laughing and having fun. And lots of snuggles.
      For me, that means I see my partner raising two boys without any stereotypes of toxic masculinity. In turn, my kids see his full, vulnerable heart and this helps their emotional development. They also see two dependable people managing the mundane to the outrageous for our home, while juggling their careers and hobbies. This is valuable modeling for their future, one where there isn’t a helper parent but an equal partnership while parenting. I’d even dare to say we’re creating new patterns to make life a little more fair one day. At least that’s my hope.
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    • Try these kid-friendly recipes and easy-pack gear for your next family picnic in the park.
      My boys and I want to spend every waking minute outside in the summer, and that includes meals. Picnics are a favorite activity and over the years we have become alfresco experts. With a little planning, you too can enjoy the great outdoors and some great food, too.
      I like to keep these essentials in my picnic basket so we’re ready to go:
      Picnic blanket. In my opinion, you have to go big here. A large, water-resistant blanket made for this purpose is an investment in fun and practicality for years to come. Put this in your basket last because you always need it first when unpacking.
      Hand sanitizer. Packets of wipes are perfect when kids have been digging in the dirt and come running back for a snack.
      Bug spray. Keep a small bottle in a zip-top plastic bag in your picnic basket. Nothing ruins a lovely outdoor event like vicious bugs attacking you or the kids.
      Dinnerware. Plates, napkins, eco-friendly disposable silverware. What’s a picnic without food? One secret to family-friendly picnic fare is to stick with what your kids know and love, in portable form. For kids, the novelty is in the outdoor experience—not the food. That’s not to say that grown-ups can’t enjoy tasty treats, but there are ways to appeal to both kid and adult palates. Making food in advance leaves more time to play and less time trying to assemble at the picnic. Try this pasta salad recipe your whole family will love!
      [Related: How to celebrate kids' birthdays while social distancing]
      Pasta salad for everyone
      The night before your picnic, cook, drain and chill 8 oz of your family’s favorite pasta (rainbow fusilli is great but if your little person will only eat macaroni, go for it). In a 2 qt container, put a generous ½ cup of ranch dressing (or your favorite) in the bottom. Add 1 cup of shredded cabbage or kale on top of the dressing, and top with a variety of diced raw vegetables of your choice such as carrots, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and cucumbers. Diced apples and dried cherries or cranberries are also great additions. Lightly salt this layer if desired. Top with the cooled pasta, seal and refrigerate. At the picnic, serve plain pasta and raw veggies to your kids, then mix up the rest of the salad, grown-up style. [Related: Summer camp in Chicago: Where, when and how to sign up for summer fun]
      More picnic tips
      Use egg cartons to transport mini-muffins or cupcakes Freeze juice boxes and yogurt packets overnight to keep things cool, and of course the kids can drink/eat them as they thaw Wraps travel better than sandwiches. Assemble in advance, slice and wrap in plastic wrap as a “log.” Place these side by side in small plastic containers. Try these easy combinations and use flour, spinach or wheat tortillas as the wrap: Sun butter or nut butter and jelly or honey Cream cheese with thinly sliced cucumbers Hummus and olive spread Thinly sliced meats (such as turkey, ham and salami) with American or Havarti cheese Small bags of chips or crackers are not only fun, but make portioning easy Use small muffin tins to organize food for little fingers and help avoid (almost inevitable) spills Mini containers of fruit (mandarin oranges, blueberries, strawberries, grapes) travel well and fit into muffin cups perfectly See you at the park!
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    • New moms often deal with lower back pain and urinary leaking due to a weak pelvic floor. Try these at-home exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor.
      Pelvic floor strengthening is a great way for new moms to improve symptoms of urinary leaking or low back/pelvic pain. Plus, they can be done anywhere! Before you jump right into exercises, let’s learn a little about the pelvic floor. 
      Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that span your pelvis and act to support your organs, maintain normal bowel and bladder function (going when you want to—not leaking when you don’t want to!), and sexual function.
      First, it is important to perform a pelvic floor contraction correctly. When contracting your pelvic floor, you should feel the muscles close in and up, like an elevator rising towards your ribcage. In order to feel if you are doing the exercise correctly, you can feel just inside your sits bone and gently feel the muscles pull in and away from your fingers as you contract, you should not feel muscles bulging out.  
      [Related: Breastfeeding inequality: It's time to end the mommy wars]
      Kegels (pelvic floor isometric contraction)
      Kegels should be performed with “quick flicks” and long holds.  The quick flicks should be a complete contraction and complete relaxation of the muscles quickly 10 times.  The long holds should be about 3-5 seconds long with an equal duration of rest in between for 10 repetitions.   Both “quick flicks” and long holds should be performed 2-3 sets per day. You can do this sitting, standing, or laying down. Abdominal bracing
      We are adding the contraction of your transverse abdominis, an abdominal muscle that acts like a corset to the contraction of your pelvic floor. Start with a pelvic floor contraction (kegel) and then engage your abdomen by bringing your belly button straight into your spine.   You should feel the contraction of the correct abdominal muscle (your transverse abdominis) by placing your fingers gently halfway between your belly button and the bony part of your pelvis.   Hold the contraction for 3-5 seconds with equal rest in between repetitions for 10 repetitions. Most important is to make sure you maintain normal breathing and do not hold your breath. You can do this sitting, standing, or laying down, 2-3 sets per day. [Related: Signs and symptoms of postpartum depression]
      Hip bridge with adduction
      For this exercise, you will need a pillow, ball, or rolled-up towel.   Start laying on your back with your knees bent and the object squeezed between your knees. Maintaining pressure on the object, lift your hips up squeezing your butt at the top. Pause for 5 seconds with your hips lifted, then slowly lower down and repeat.   Performed 10 times, 2-3 sets per day. Squats
      Start standing and engage your pelvic floor engaged, up and in Maintain the pelvic floor contraction as you squat, pause at the bottom, and return to standing To squat with correct form, it should feel like you are sitting your butt back on a chair and maintaining your knees directly over your toes. Performed 10 times, 2-3 sets per day.
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    • A child's birthday during Covid doesn't have to be a solitary affair. Check out these ideas for having a fun kids' birthday during the pandemic.
      With a new vocabulary that includes “shelter in place” and “social distancing,” get-togethers seem destined to remain a little different for a while. But that doesn’t mean we can’t mark the special occasions—we just need to re-imagine how we celebrate them.
      Virtual parties
      If you’re uncomfortable meeting up in person just yet—given that keeping kids apart is a challenge—virtual parties can solve the problem. We’re all now up-to-speed using Zoom, so with just a little imagination, you can create a party atmosphere. Asking everyone to dress up in a fairy or superhero costume and coordinating a themed dance-off takes very little effort.
      Movie premiere
      If you’d rather not coordinate schedules, have friends send a video message instead. We’ve used Apple TV to make an occasion out of watching home movies. Alternately, VidHug is an affordable service that will collate video clips for you. Then dress up, add some photo props, fashion a red carpet, and order some Oscar lookalike statues, and you’ve just brought the Academy Awards into your house.
      [Related: No-gift birthday party ideas]
      Character videos
      If you’re suffering from Zoom fatigue (a real phenomenon), or never know how the days will pan out, keeping things really simple takes the pressure off. Now Mickey Mouse, Ariel and many others will either FaceTime with you or send a pre-recorded greeting. This is infinitely cheaper than a traditional party—a real consideration during these financially challenging times.
      Giving drive
      Or maybe combine your desire to maintain your social distance with your inherent belief in being a good citizen. Have your child post a video encouraging friends to decorate their own "birthday boxes" that they can fill with items to donate. Then have everyone regroup (sharing photos or through a virtual meet-up) to unveil their creations and where they plan to send their donations.
      Cupcakes stroll-by
      A friend of mine organized a stroll-by-and-grab-a-cupcake celebration for her daughter’s birthday. This still keeps contact to a minimum yet offers the in-person connection we’re all craving. Our children were thrilled for the sugar fix, and it gave us all a focus for a stroll as well as providing some welcome fresh air.
      [Related: 4 unexpected spots for your kids' next birthday party]
      Backyard bash
      If you’re fortunate enough to have a backyard in the city, take advantage by hosting your social circle at your place. Adding a fun activity (such as decorating your own water bottle or snack bag) to each seat can help keep youngsters in place. Games like charades also prevent children from running around in a pack.
      Picnic in the park
      If you don’t have your own outdoor space, plan a get-together at a local park. Encourage guests to bring their own blankets and use those to delineate each grouping. Sharing food remains a no-no but sending a menu ahead of time that guests can pull together themselves works well, ensuring no child is tempted to sample off a plate elsewhere.
      Movie night
      Pin up a sheet outside and project a kid-friendly movie. Invite families to bring their own lawn chairs and congregate with their clan. Providing individual packs of popcorn adds to the ambiance while keeping away from communal bowls.
      After being cooped up for so long, there’s no need to deny ourselves any joy. As long as you follow sensible guidelines (being sure to keep up with current recommendations), you and your family do not need to miss out on celebrating those important occasions. Nurturing our souls with a little human interaction is now more important than ever.
      Read more...
    • These books, websites, podcasts, articles and more can help you facilitate conversations about racism with your child.
      It may not be easy to talk to your kids about the realities of racism, but it's a critical part of making positive change in our city and our country, and helping your child develop into a thoughtful, aware and kind adult.
      Here are some resources to help parents facilitate these conversations. We'll keep adding more as we find them. If you have resources to add to this list, email laura@npnparents.org. And add your voice to the lively discussions happening right now on our forum about racism and current events. 
      Great list of children's books to support conversations on race, racism and resistance from the org Embrace Race Round-up of podcasts, books, articles and toys compiled by infographic designers Pretty Good. This chart Pretty Good created about when to talk to your kids about race is...pretty good. An essay in The Atlantic by a Black woman who now understands why her parents were so strict Tips on having conversations about race, broken down by age, from CNN How not to raise a racist white kid. Enough said. Talking to your kids about riots and protests from Red Tricycle Children's book round-up featuring books about racism and white privilege, and books that simply have a non-white protagonist, divided by age, from the New York Times Huge list of articles, advice and other resources from the Center for Racial Justice in Education A blog devoted to raising race-conscious children Facebook group called Books for Littles: Raising Luminaries Kidlit that discusses kids books that "instill values of compassion, equality, and smashing the kyriarchy in the next generation of leaders" 10 diverse children's books from Mommy Nearest
      Read more...
    • This Chicago mom and her husband both contracted COVID-19 and still had to care for their two preschoolers.
      My husband brought it in. At least, that’s what we think. We still have no idea where exactly he picked up the coronavirus, but it came into our house around mid-to-late March and upended our newly sheltered-in-place world. 
      He first went down with extreme fatigue. He would occasionally shiver, and he had a cough, though not an entirely dry one, so we played multiple rounds of “allergies, flu, or COVID?” Tests were still in very rare supply at this point, reserved for only the sickest, most at-risk, and – apparently – famous. His doctor informed him to isolate in our house and call them if he got worse. Isolating in a condo in the city without a spare bedroom proved challenging. And by “challenging,” I do, of course, mean “impossible.” 
      [Related: Will my relationship survive this virus?]
      His sickness lasted about three days before he recovered. I was responsible for getting supplies, entertaining/feeding our 5- and 3-year old kids, trying to keep them away from my husband, and monitoring how my husband was doing. 
      During this time the kids were just...off. They were cranky, displayed some behavior regressions, and were generally lackadaisical, but they never had fevers, nor did they complain of sore throats or aches. We attributed it to adjusting to the new “shelter-in-place-no-school-no-friends-more-screens” life they were suddenly living. We watched a lot of Frozen 2. (This behavior, it might be worth noting, has yet to change.) In hindsight, they most likely had (generally) milder, kid versions of the virus. 
      As my husband recovered, I went down. I first got a sore throat, a headache that made my brain feel like it was about to explode out of my skull, and felt extremely achy. The fatigue then set in. I started coughing a dry, from-the-lungs, deep cough that got progressively worse. The second day I felt...better. A lot better. I was up and about, energized and convinced I had just contracted a gross spring bug, and nothing to worry about at all. Anecdotally, this one-day early recovery is common early on with the coronavirus, and some people even recover fully from this point. I wasn’t so lucky.
      I went down again on my third day of symptoms and didn’t get back up for another five days. I was so tired I could barely sit up. I would cough so hard I would almost throw up. The chills and aches were so bad I would lie in bed physically shaking, even though my fever never went above mild at most. I started to get out of breath going 10 feet from my bed to the bathroom. If I happened to do something that required a lot of exertion – say, going 15 feet to the kitchen for water – I would be out of breath for a few minutes. My lungs started feeling like they were burning if I did anything more than lie down, or if I had just had a bad coughing fit. I slept a lot. And when I couldn’t sleep anymore, I would just lie in bed and stream episode after episode of Love Island: Australia, an activity that required fewer brain cells than sleep. 
      [Related: 4 tips for managing your kids' coronavirus anxiety]
      We ordered a lot of delivery foods during this time, since our whole house was under strict quarantine. My husband carried Lysol with him when he took the dog out, so as to try not to infect our upstairs neighbors using shared doorknobs. I burst into tears with feelings of guilt wondering if I had infected anyone when I had made an essential run to the grocery store in the week prior to any of us being sick (masks at this point were not available, let alone common). 
      We had always been very clear with the kids about the virus, and why they were home from school and why things like their soccer class was suddenly being held via video. While they wanted me to hang out, or watch Frozen 2 with them, they seemed to understand I couldn’t. I wanted nothing more than to squeeze them. 
      Both my husband and I were supposed to be self-isolating. Unfortunately, there is no guide on self-isolation when both parents are still both sick and presumably infectious and you have two preschoolers in the house who need to eat, play, and be put to bed. Because my husband was functional and I was not, we had to make the choice for him to continue caring for them.  
      Around day five my doctor told me I had a presumed case of COVID-19. At this point, she said, most people recover. Some people – and there was no telling who, or why – would not, and would take a nosedive. If that nosedive happened I was to go straight to the hospital because I would need oxygen. My husband and I had a distinct talk about what my wishes were if I were to go into the hospital and need to be put on a ventilator. We talked calmly about end-of-life decisions. 
      Luckily, I started to recover. The isolation period our doctor suggested was 10 days from the start of symptoms, though we all isolated for longer. I started to have periods of feeling semi-functional, only to crash later. Those times of feeling better started to get longer and longer, and my husband resumed working from home again as I “watched the kids,” which mostly consisted of – you guessed it – watching them watch Frozen 2 or Star Wars. After about two weeks, I felt like myself again. I started exercising, even. 
      It’s been several months since we went through this. We’ve learned a lot about the virus, but also about how fallible the testing is, even when you do get a test. (There are almost no false-positive tests, but worryingly up to 30% false negatives.) The antibody tests seem just as fallible, only with the opposite problem of over-predicting positives. We continue to follow the protocols: we wear our masks, socially distance, and bake an absurd amount of banana bread. 
      My family came through this relatively unscathed and I realize just how lucky we are. I’ve let a lot of things I thought were important go. My house is a mess, but my kids are happy, healthy, and able to play. I will never again take for granted this time when my kids are playing happily and I’m able to watch them. 
      Read more...
    • Divorced parents who are co-parenting during the Covid-19 pandemic can use these tips to keep their relationship civil and productive.
      Co-parenting can be complicated enough without additional factors that throw a wrench into the system you and your co-parent have developed. The presence of coronavirus will alter the way that you co-parent. Here are some tips on how to be successful co-parents while dealing with coronavirus. 
      Stick with the routine where you can. During this stressful time, there will be adjustments that have to be made. However, it is important to keep consistency in the places that you can. Children thrive on routines, so keeping small things consistent will help them remain calm and make a scary situation more predictable. Try to engage in similar activities with your child as you have in the past. If your child is out of school, try to incorporate academics into their day. School subjects can be incorporated into the daily routine with activities that you have done in the past such as reading their favorite books, practicing their favorite school subject with writing or math exercises, or even at home science experiments. Also, coordinate with your children’s teachers, as many are sending excellent resources for you to do at home. 
      Accept that you may have to interact with your co-parent more than usual. Communicating during this time is going to be more important than ever. Communication tools such as Our Family Wizard and Google Calendar can help increase communication while also keeping it civil. Pickups and drop-offs may have to be face-to-face if school or your usual spot is no longer an option, so minimize all unnecessary interaction when you exchange your child. Try to keep these communications as short and efficient as possible. Do your best to be as responsive, understanding and civil as possible as you communicate and interact with the co-parent.  Be flexible. It is not surprising to know that parenting schedules and systems are not always set in stone. Things come up that require changes to be made. During this time, there will have to be adjustments to the parenting system that you have developed over time. It is important to be flexible and work with your co-parent in order to keep things running smoothly for your children. If you are uncomfortable with the current custody agreement due to coronavirus, openly communicate that with your co-parent and attempt to come to a temporary agreement. Make sure you know which battles are important for you to fight, and which battles you are able to concede. At the end of the day, both parents will have to compromise and work together in order to continue functioning. 
      Accept help. During the practice of social distancing, children have seen a decrease in their typical events, including extracurricular activities, playdates, school and sports. However, you may still have to work. This can create issues if you are unable to watch your child at certain times. Accepting help from your co-parent or other third parties will be extremely beneficial to you and your child. Accepting help will decrease your stress levels as well. Putting personal issues aside and accepting help from a step-parent or extended family may be necessary in order to act in the best interest of your child. 
      Read more...
    • In-person Chicago summer camps that are adhering to city safety guidelines for in-person gatherings.
      There's no doubt about it: Summer in Chicago will look a lot different this year. But before you start panic-purchasing inflatable pools and water guns, take a look at these summer camps that are still planning on having in-person camps. Of course, in this COVID-altered world, things can change—camps may reconfigure their schedules or cancel altogether. But for now, check out these camps that are adhering to city safety guidelines for in-person gatherings.
      [Not ready for in-person camps? See our list of virtual summer camps.]
      Banner Day Camp: General-interest camp in Lake Forest for ages 3–9th grade
      Bethesda International Academy: General-interest camp in West Ridge for preschool 3–8th grade
      Chicago Fire: Soccer camp in North Center for ages 7–14
      Chicago Park District: Multi-location general-interest camps for ages 6–12
      Children's Lighthouse: General-interest camp in North Center for kids ages 2–6
      CircEsteem: Circus-arts camp in Uptown for ages 6–16
      Codeverse: Coding camp in Lincoln Park for ages 6–11
      Easel Art Studio: Arts camp in Bucktown for ages 5–10
      Edgewater Playhouse: General-interest camp in Edgewater for ages 4–6
      Fit City Kids: General-interest camp in Lincoln Square for ages 5–10
      Fred’s Camp: General-interest camp in Lincoln Park for ages 4–13
      Hyde Park Neighborhood Club: General-interest camp in Hyde Park
      iPro Skills Academy: Soccer camp in West Ridge
      Game On! Sports 4 Girls: Girls sports camp in your backyard or park for ages 6–14
      JCC/Apachi: Multi-location general-interest camps for ages 3 years to 9th grade
      Kids Playing Camp: General-interest camp in North Park for ages 2nd grade+
      Kids Science Lab: Multi-location science camp for ages 4+
      The Kids' Table: Cooking camp in Lakeview for ages 4–10
      The Laboratory Collective: STEM camp in Bucktown for ages 8–12
      Lakeshore Academy of Artistic Gymnastics: Gymnastics camp in Gold Coast for ages 5–12
      Lillstreet: Arts camp in Ravenswood for ages 3–16
      Little Beans Evanston: General-interest camp in Evanston for ages 3–9
      Oui Chef: Cooking camp in Lincoln Park for ages 5–15
      The Paintbrush: Arts camp in Lincoln Park for ages 5–11
      Play2Day: General-interest camp in Lincoln Park for ages 2-6
      Quad Indoor Sports: Sports camp in Evanston for ages 4–14
      Roycemore: General-interest camp in Evanston for ages 3–12
      St. Philip Lutheran School: STEAM camp in North Park for preschool 3–8th grade
      Steve & Kate’s: General-interest camp in West Loop and Lakeview for ages 4–12
      Swift Nature Camp: Overnight camp in Wisconsin for ages 6–15
      Tennis on the Lake: Tennis camp in Northbrook for ages 5–17
      Tuesday's Child: Camp for kids ages 3–6 with behavioral challenges in Irving Park
      Urban Prairie Waldorf School: General-interest camp in the Near West Side for grades 1st–5th
      Windy City Ninjas: Sports camp in North Center for age 5+
      Wishcraft Workshop: Arts camp in North Center for ages 5–12
      XS Tennis: Tennis camp in Washington Park for ages 7–18
      YMCA: General-interest camp with multiple locations for age 5+
      Keep checking back! We'll be updating this list as we get new information from Chicago-area camps. 
      Are you a Chicago camp planning an in-person experience this summer? Email laura@npnparents.org to be added to this list.
      Read more...
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