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    • Working moms often feel guilty they're not more involved in their child's school. This Chicago mom has ideas on how to get involved while still holding down a full-time job.
      As a mom of a rambunctious 3½-year-old girl and super-active 6-year-old boy and working full-time as a partner in family law, I’m often told that I “do it all.” The seemingly praiseworthy concept, while flattering, in no way rids me of mother’s guilt that plagues many of us who work outside the home. At all hours of the day, thoughts of "What experience did I miss out on today?" will creep across my desk, like when my son tells me about a class celebration that I had to miss due to a client meeting or court. That being said, my children know that “mom works” to help finance a lifestyle where more things are possible than not, and I know they love me for that. So, how to strike a balance? Here are some things I have done to ensure that I’m as involved as I can be without risking my day job.
       
      Take charge of the classroom. While this seems counterintuitive, being a room parent is not as labor intensive as one may think. I send class emails from my work email (many of which are just forwarded requests from other parents or school organizations) so I can be on top of events and needs at any point of the day. We created a classroom website on Shutterfly which makes it easy to communicate with the other parents. Not only has this kept me involved and aware, it’s allowed for me to get to know the other parents, which is key to staying connected.
       
      Look for special one-time opportunities to come to class and commit the time to your calendar. My son’s kindergarten class had “mystery readers” every Friday. Knowing the one day I could come and surprise my son by reading to his classmates way in advance allowed for me to schedule court and meetings around that one hour.
       
      Don’t overcommit. While I want to be a part of every parent organization and fundraising effort for my son’s school (a sign of my Type A personality), that’s entirely unrealistic. Just as you can’t donate to every philanthropic organization that comes your way, pick one volunteer organization with your kid’s school to get involved with, maybe during a time of year when you know your job may be slower. That way, you can feel connected but not worried that you aren’t getting your work completed.
       
      Katy Mickelson, her husband, Kory, and their two children live in Roscoe Village, a community they love and are proud to be a part of. Katy is a partner in the divorce and family law group at Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP, where she has been practicing law since 2005.
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    • The 5 steps you need to take to apply to Chicago Public Schools elementary schools and preschools, including magnet schools and selective enrollment schools (SEES).
      It’s the time of year again! Chicago Public Schools (CPS) begins its applications for the 2021-2022 school year on Monday, October 12, and close on Friday, January 8, 2021. Students entering kindergarten through 8th grade may apply for open seats at schools across the city, with a limited number of pre-k options available as well. Learn about Universal Pre-K status.
      [Related: 9 questions parents should be asking schools]
      In CPS, there are two main types of schools to which you can apply:

      1. Magnet schools and lottery admission programs – These include magnet schools, magnet cluster schools and open enrollment schools. A completed Choice Elementary Application is required; seats are determined via computerized lottery with no testing involved.
      2. Selective Enrollment Elementary Schools (SEES) – These include Classical Schools, Regional Gifted Centers (RGC) and Academic Centers for middle schoolers. A completed SEES application is required; students are selected through a testing process.
      For kindergarten entry at any CPS school, children must be age 5 by September 1 of the year they are entering kindergarten. (The only exception is via the Illinois Accelerated Placement Act.)
      Here's an abbreviated guide to getting the application process started in 5 manageable steps:
      1. Activate an account (if applying online). Go to go.cps.edu to request a CPS ID for each child who is new to CPS. Each applying student needs a CPS ID to open an online CPS application. Paper applications do not require a CPS ID. All applications are due by January 8, 2020.
      2. Apply. Select the schools for which you want to apply via Choice Elementary (lottery) and/or SEES (test required) applications.
      For the Choice Elementary application, you can choose up to 20 schools with no ranking required for the lottery. For the SEES application, you can select up to 6 Classical and/or Regional Gifted Center (RGC) schools and must rank them in order of preference. 3. Schedule a test date. If you wish to have your child tested for SEES, you will be asked to choose a test date via your portal at go.cps.edu after applying to any SEES programs. There are separate tests for Classical Schools and RGCs. If applying to kindergarten for both types of schools, each test will be administered on the same day. If applying for both types for older grades, your child will be tested on separate dates. Testing will occur from November 2020 through February 2021, or until all applicants have been tested. Students who take their test in November will receive their test results before the January 8, 2021, deadline. 4. Submit your application by 11:59pm CST on January 8, 2021 (or received by 6pm at CPSOAE for paper applications). You should receive instant confirmation of your online application and sending via certified mail is recommended for paper submissions. Notification letters and test results (for students who took their exam(s) after November 2020) will be posted to your online application portal (or mailed to paper applicants) in April 2021.
      5. VIRTUALLY visit the schools you are most interested in. This is a very important step in the process and ideally should be done before you select schools and submit your application. Check out NPN School Directory to get an overview of each school, contact schools for virtual tour dates and open houses, and try to connect with parents whose children attend the schools you’re considering. Bear in mind that the “hottest” schools might not be the best fit for your child. Also, don’t underestimate your own neighborhood school, as it may be a “hidden gem” and the perfect place for your child—and for you and your family to become part of an active school community.
      [Related: CPS 101 video (members only)]
      These are just the basic steps in the CPS application process. Please note that there may be variations to these steps, depending on the particular programs and/or grades your child is applying to. Visit go.cps.edu for more information and details.
      Remember: No application or deadline is required for your neighborhood school. Every street address in the city is assigned to a neighborhood school where your child is guaranteed a seat. However, keep in mind that the public school nearest to your home may not necessarily be your neighborhood school (even if it’s right across the street!). Enter your primary residential address on the CPS School Locator to determine your neighborhood school. Then contact the school directly for a registration timeline and other pertinent information for incoming students and families.
      Looking ahead to the 2021-2022 school year (or beyond)? Keep your eye on the NPN Chicago School Choice events on the calendar for our next round of CPS 101 presentations, which offer more guidance and tips for learning about CPS and successfully navigating the public school selection and application process. NPN members can also access the four-part CPS 101 video series.
      Want more info? Visit go.cps.edu to learn more about CPS acceptance and notification and follow the CPS conversations on the NPN Discussion Forum.
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    • If some screen time gives me 30 minutes of uninterrupted time, my kids have a happier and calmer mommy. Here are the ways I monitor my kids' screen time.
      More than 30 percent of children in the United States play with mobile devices while still in diapers.
      You may have seen older news reports in which the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommended that children under two shouldn’t have any screen time, and older children and teens should be limited to no more than two hours of screen time a day. Just months ago, the AAP changed what it considers its “outdated” policies.
      I’ve never been guilt-ridden over screen time. I’ve always known that my toddler’s screen time can lead to some amazing personal discoveries. Also, while I know I can parent, I’m self-aware enough to know that I’m not one to do flashcards with my kids. Since this is the case, I see no problem in their using a screen (under my supervision) to learn about animals, colors, and other basic concepts.
      The screen time doesn’t just help my kids, but me as well. I am a person, darnit! I have needs. If some screen time gives me 30 minutes of uninterrupted time, my kids have a happier and calmer mommy.
      Sure, there’s risk to it, and it can be overdone. Like anything else, it’s all about balance. My kids would live on FaceTime, Xbox and Instagram if I allowed it. But because we lead balanced lives, they get straight As in school, sleep like rockstars and aren’t anti-social zombies.
      Based on my experience, a few tips on how to make the smartest screen choices for your toddler:
      Be choosy about content. Let your toddler watch a show that is relevant to his age and learning level, but there’s no need to dumb it down. Top-rated apps like Super Why ABC Adventures and Peekaboo Barn, electronic picture books, or family videos on your phone are always good choices.
      Be aware of when your child is having screen time, and make sure you balance it with free play and time with the family.
      Be proactive in terms of how the screen time impacts your child. The screen time itself may spark new interests or necessitate more parent-time, depending on who your toddler is.
      Be smart about when you allow screen time. We use screen time when the kids wake up and go to bed as part of their routine, allowing them to wake up slowly and mellow out easily. Yes, it’s a crutch — but an effective one. I’ll allow 15 minutes of screen time for instant Zen every time.
      Be involved in your child’s screen time. Yes, it can be mind numbing talking about Minecraft or Madden 2016, but it means a lot for her to take you into her world and interests. Give her interests some validation while likely giving you some much needed new conversation topics.
      Be firm when enforcing limits. Tell your children what goes and stick to it. It’s just like anything else in parenting: You’ve got to set boundaries and be consistent so your kids know what to expect.
      Parents need to remember that while technology keeps changing, parenting has not. Life balance is important and everything in moderation, so keep an eye on how much time your children are spending in front of a screen, just as you want to keep an eye on how much they’re doing something else.
      Related posts:
      Limit screen time for a happier, healthier kid
      How to make traveling with kids less awful
      How unplugging made me a happier parent
       
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    • Choosing a childcare provider can be a daunting process. Here are some tips on how to find the perfect nanny for your family.
      In today's economy, many households have two working parents. That's where a nanny comes in. But hiring a nanny to care for your little one can be an intimidating process. As a former nanny and the founder of nanny agency Olive.You.Nanny, I suggest these tips for finding a nanny.
      Step 1: Getting Started with Interviewing
      When you’re armed with a clear understanding of how the interview process works, things can be much easier.
      Reach out to potential candidates to schedule an initial phone screening. Have some standard interview questions prepared in advance. Check out the member discussion forum and read this article about nanny interviews for tips on key questions to ask. Check in with friends/relatives who have hired nannies to gather questions they found useful.  If the nanny seems like a good fit for your family’s needs and is qualified, invite her to a local coffee shop to meet you. (Insider tip: I recommend that the initial screening is conducted in a public place—you never know who you’re meeting! However, if you’re working with an agency, you can skip this step because they will have already met the candidate.)  Make sure you have a list of expectations and additional, more in-depth interview questions for the nanny to answer. Ideally, the nanny has some good questions for you, too. If all goes well, the nanny can then be invited to your house for a second interview. This interview is more to see how the candidate interacts with your child/children. Make sure to take note of a few key things: Does she wash her hands before handling your baby? Is she excited to get on the floor and play with your toddler? Is her personality a good match with your family’s style and dynamics? Step 2: The Reference Checks
      You made it through the interviews! Now what? It's time for reference checks. 
      Get a list of at least three childcare-related references. Make sure you request the last three families the candidate has worked for. Keep an eye out for a gap in employment. This usually means there was another family in there. (Insider tip: Nannies sometimes leave a position because it just wasn’t a good fit for them. This shouldn’t be a deal-breaker, but make sure she is honest about the situation.) References have to be stellar. I talk to many references and find that great nannies have families who say nothing but amazing things about them. These nannies are out there; you just need to keep looking until you find them! Conduct a background check. You never know what you might find out. 99% of the time it’s perfect, but your peace of mind makes this more than worth it. Step 3: Extending the Offer
      How can you be sure this the right person for your family? My advice: It’s a gut feeling. As a mother, I think we all know who’s meant to be with our children. If you’re at all questioning yourself, then the candidate is not the right person. You want to be thinking and feeling, “Oh my goodness, I can’t imagine my life without this person!” (Insider tip: Make sure you talk about important topics like vacation, sick days and salary. It’s best to address these topics at the start of your relationship.)
      Step 4: Keeping a Strong Relationship
      Communication is really the key ingredient to making this relationship work.
      Ask your nanny to make a log of what goes on during each day. That way, when you come home you can spend time with your family and look over the log later. A written recap of the day ensures that nothing will be missed in passing. If you have an issue with your nanny, whether it be big or small, tell her! Something small like not picking up her water glass every day or forgetting to take out the trash can still be bothersome. With open communication, you can both let the other know how things are going. Conduct a scheduled review. It’s a good time to talk about anything that is on either of your minds. Nannies want to do a good job and that can only happen with strong communication. I suggest having a scheduled talk about every 6 months. Have it scheduled in advance so you don’t find yourself only wanting to meet when you have negative feedback. Remember, finding the nanny of your dreams might not happen overnight! Don’t become discouraged—remember to stay positive and you’ll soon find the perfect person to complement your family.
      Start searching for a nanny now with NPN's member-only Childcare Classifieds! Not an NPN member? Learn more about joining.
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    • This Chicago mom follows these simple tips and has seen fewer illnesses in her house.
      When my two older boys were younger I distinctly remember thinking one winter they were never going to go back to preschool because they were never healthy. Fast forward about five years and one additional kid, and we seem to be in a better spot health-wise. I attribute this to a few changes I’ve made, which I've highlighted below. I’m not a doctor, nor a scientist, so this is purely speculation, but it seems to be working for us.
      1. Get rid of the hand sanitizer and just use soap and water. I used to use hand sanitizer religiously thinking it was actually doing some good. I think instead it was just stripping the kids of any "good dirt" and making them more vulnerable to infection. I could be wrong about this, but since I have switched to just handwashing with regular old soap and water we’ve had better luck with staying away from colds and other infections.
      2. Add a daily probiotic. About three years ago, I started everyone on a daily morning probiotic appropriate for their age. I just buy the one they will actually tolerate from Whole Foods so no real science going into this, but I figure it can’t hurt them, and possibly only help.
      3. Get a flu shot. This is a vaccine, so clearly there is major debate around whether one should receive a flu shot. Full disclosure: I am 100% in the "all vaccines are good vaccines" camp, and I make sure my kids, myself and my husband all receive the flu shot every year.
      4. Cut down on dairy and push water. My kids don’t really drink milk or any milk-based products. My older two children had ear tubes and chronic ear infections when they were younger, and the doctor suggested to cut back on dairy. I’ve followed that advice ever since and the head colds and congestion have definitely decreased.
      5. Get fresh air. Ever since my oldest was just two weeks old (and this was during a Chicago winter) my mom always said, "Get him outside!" I try to get the kids outside for a little while every single day, no matter what. It’s good for their mental health and their physical health (as well as mine). I also try to open the windows to air out the house every once in a while, too. This is definitely a throw back to my nana, but it makes the house seem fresh in the middle of winter, and as if the germs are leaving the premises.
      Sometimes getting sick is just hit or miss, and for whatever reason some kids are more susceptible to getting sick. However, these basic tips have definitely helped us decrease illness overall. I also found that getting through that first year of preschool or kindergarten helped build up the kids’ immune systems immensely. 
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    • Having a baby in the NICU is a terrifying and stressful time for parents. One NICU mom offers advice on how to get through it.
      While many NICU stays come as a surprise, sometimes parents are told to anticipate their child needing specialized care in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in advance. Leaving the hospital without your baby is never easy, whether you had the opportunity to emotionally prepare for it or not.   For parents anticipating this very stressful and challenging time, l have compiled a list of resources to reduce stress, increase bonding and make the process as smooth on the family as possible. This list of resources and advice comes my experience as a NICU mom and from a fantastic group of attachment and trauma therapists I have the privilege of working with.   Connect with other NICU moms right away—they will be a great source of support and advice during your journey. Search Facebook for groups and connect with local moms through parent groups like NPN. Visit Centering.org for resources. There's a section specifically for NICU babies. You'll be able to find some children's books and maybe even a coloring book or activity book to flip through with older children.
      Have a friend or family member bring you a clean washcloth or tiny baby blanket, or even two small matching ones. Sleep with them for a night or two and then give one to any children who will remain home while mom is in the hospital. It'll be a nice way for them to feel connected to you while you're not with them. Then, when your baby is born, ask the staff to put one in your baby's isolette. Depending on the hospital's infection-control policy, they may take it out after surgery, but they can put back in later.   Sing to your baby. There has been some research into the effectiveness of singing to your baby in the absence of being able to touch them. You don’t have to have a wonderful singing voice or even know all the right lyrics, words are not as important as the tempo. Consider buying a small voice recorder to allow your baby to hear your voice even when you are not physically present.   Create a narrative. I started putting together a Shutterfly book in the NICU to describe our experience. Also talk out loud with your newborn about her birth experience, the fearful transition away from you, the confusion of the new location and, most important, your joy of meeting face to face for the first time. That story is so important and healing, for both of you.   Start conversations with your not-yet-born infant. If you find out while pregnant that your baby will spend time in the NICU, explain to him all that is about to happen, make guesses about how these things might feel to him (for example, that he might worry the grownups aren’t ready for him, or that he might worry they are trying to get him out before he’s ready). You don't have to get the words perfect, but you do need to occupy some of your energies with mentalizing this unborn child while communicating your assurance that you will be there when he comes out (even though you worry—and he knows it—that you won’t). You need to tell him all about the c-section, about who will be taking care of him, and how you will hold him in your heart when you can’t be right next to him. You do have the power to communicate with him, and to hear his “voice” back.   Put some family pictures by your baby's bedside or even tape them onto the sides of the isolette. It will get the NICU staff talking about you to your baby when you're not there.   Use kangaroo care as much as you can. Healing Touch is incorporated in the US and, given the research supporting it, most or even all NICUs are doing this. Healing Touch is the only accredited energy medicine, and most of the research has been gathered in hospital settings. It's usually just reserved for Mom and Dad.   Find out the visitation rules for the NICU before your baby is born. Are there visiting hours? Can your other children come, too? What about extended family and friends? Get as much info as you can now so you feel prepared later.   Figure out the parking situation. If you're going to a city hospital, parking may be expensive or complicated. Look into it. If family or friends are offering to help and you don't know what to say, ask for a ride to the hospital for visits. Or, often friends chip in for a "parking fund."    Pump if you can. Your milk supply may increase if you pump while looking at a photo of your new baby and if you have your baby's scent nearby. So, actually, get a third clean washcloth for the staff to put in your baby's isolette for a day or two and then give to YOU to hold onto. Repeat as necessary. Also, drinking lots of water and/or Mother's Milk tea can help increse supply. Check with your health insurance company to find out whether it will cover the cost of a hospital grade double electric breast pump—it's the most effective and most efficient pump out there. Since it's medically necessary for you to pump, insurance will likely cover it.   Don't forget about Dad. He is going to be very worried, and deeply frustrated by the limits on his ability to assure safe passage for the new, sick baby. It will be very important, later, that history shows (to himself, and to Mom) that he stood strong, and that he protected his children and his partner.   Trust the staff. See if the NICU will assign a primary nurse to your baby so there will be as much consistency as possible in his/her care. Also, remember that the nurses and docs will lovingly care for your baby. Even when you're not there, they will tend to her cries and use beamy pillows and other tools to help your baby feel the sensation of being held, even if baby isn't stable enough to be moved around and cradled in their arms.   Take it from me, it will be hard and it will be scary, but you will get through it. The NICU is a beautiful and terrifying place.
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    • It's hard to find mom friends you can really connect with. Here's how one Chicago mom found her match on a blind play date.
      Motherhood is a mix of emotions: excitement, exhaustion and, of course, endless amounts of love. But here’s the thing: Motherhood can also bring up another feeling that not a lot of people talk about. Loneliness. I am lucky to have most of my family and friends living in Chicagoland, but many of them weren’t entrenched in the world of diapers and feeding schedules like I was. I needed to build my own mama tribe, and I didn’t know where to start.   Whenever my baby and I would go to the library or park, I was like a guy on the prowl at Wrigleyville bars, looking for mommy friends. But time after time I was surrounded by nannies or moms that clearly weren’t the right fit for me. I’m not going to lie, it was rough trying to find someone who was not only a cool person who I would have chosen as a friend before kids entered the picture, but also someone who had a parenting style that matched mine.   After a few months of creepily checking out every mom I encountered and exchanging information only to have a play date or two that ended up being a total bust, I was a bit desperate. So when one of my husband’s friends mentioned that she had a friend with boys who lived in my town, I was all about meeting her. I mean, if someone else vouched for her and thought we would be a good mommy match, why not reach out?   Even better, we had the opportunity to meet in a neutral setting before I struck up the courage to “ask her out.” And like most moms at a wedding, we both took advantage of the open bar and ended up looking like hot messes on the dance floor once we were finally introduced. All I remember from our initial meeting was that she was nervous because her baby wouldn’t take a bottle from the babysitter…exactly what I went through with my little guy six months prior. Our first connection.   Cheered on by my husband, I nervously typed an email to her the next week asking if she would like to meet up at a park—my first blind date EVER. She responded immediately, and I giddily counted down the days until our date. Neither of us really remembered what the other one looked like when we initially met in a drunken stupor, but thankfully we were the only ones at the park that morning. In the light of day I realized that this person was my complete mommy match.   Fast forward almost five years, we have celebrated so much together: new babies, new homes, nights out on the town…I don’t know what I ever would have done without meeting this wonderful friend. So my advice to you, lonely mamas, is to speak up and reach out to other moms in order to find your mommy match. You will be so glad you did.
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    • Planning a move? Make it easier on your kids by following these words of advice from a mom of toddler twins.
      My husband and I have moved a few times since getting married. Moving is not fun by any means (especially in Chicago where you have to get creative with rental truck parking, lots of stairs, etc.), but we’ve always managed it by renting a truck and coaxing friends to help us with the promise of pizza and beer.
      Our most recent move was different because now we have twin toddlers who bring more “baggage” (sorry, couldn’t resist) into the equation. After living through this move and talking to friends who have had similar experiences, we created a list of ways we eased the transition (and what we had wished we had done differently!).
      Talk about the move ahead of time
      Explain where they are going, what to expect in terms of housing, daycare/school, friends and parks/museums. Go to their favorite places for the last time for closure, and talk about the fun places near their new home. Assure them their toys and beds/furniture are moving with you, and name all the people in the family (including pets!) to let them know that everyone is coming with them.
      Listen to what they say and help address concerns
      They likely have anxieties about the move and can express them in their own way.
      Have the kids help pack
      Although it is not faster, they will feel like they are helping with the process. Let your kids carry their favorite toys for security during the move. Pack all their essentials for traveling together (pack and play, feeding paraphernalia, changes of clothes, snacks) so you won’t be scrambling to find the necessities for bedtime, bath time, etc. during the transition.
      Say goodbye to every room in the house (or sing the Goodbye Song)
      Set up their toys and furniture first. Even if the rest of the house is a disaster, they will feel more settled when they come into their bedrooms for the first time. If possible, set up the rooms similar to their old rooms.
      Avoid other big transitions around the same time
      Don’t start potty training or change into a big-kid bed if your children are used to sleeping in their cribs.
      Make time for friends, especially if you are moving far away 
      A quick stroller walk for coffee with a good friend will help you stop and breathe, and your kids will definitely notice your less-stressed mood.
      Call in favors for babysitting
      You'll need it during the packing and moving process. If the kids can stay with friends or family on moving day, you can focus on being the moving point person without also making sure there isn’t a child underfoot.
      Consider buying the kids a moving toy that would be special and also serve as a distraction.
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    • A new campaign called Anchor It! aims to educate parents and caregivers about preventing tip-overs in the home
      Furniture and TV tip-over incidents are most likely to be deadly when a child is involved. A child dies every 10 days from a TV or furniture tip-over. In the U.S. there is an estimated annual average of 15,600 injuries that are associated with tip-overs. Most accidents happen when a child climbs on the furniture in order to reach a higher drawer or an object on top. Children ages 2-5 are at a higher risk for these incidents. These facts and figures illuminate the tragic stories of Camden, Conner, Shane, and Ted who have all fallen victim to furniture tip-overs.

      These incidents can be prevented. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has created the Anchor It! campaign to educate parents and caregivers about tip-overs. Anchor It! provides instructional videos on how to secure furniture and TVs to avoid tip-overs. In addition, KID provides some recommendations to prevent tip-overs:
      Buy furniture with a wider base, heavier back panel, and/or interlocking drawers, and that meets the ASTM F2057-14 or 17 standard, which is a voluntary standard regarding furniture stability Anchor furniture to the wall Do not put TVs on furniture that is not intended for that use, and anchor TVs to anchored furniture or mount on the wall Keep TV cables and cords out of reach of children Keep objects such as toys and remote controls off furniture to reduce the temptation to climb. Here at KID, we are working to prevent tip-overs with the CPSC and groups such as PAT (Parents Against Tip-Overs). KID started the Teach Early Safety Testing (TEST) program as a way to incorporate design safety into undergraduate engineering programs. Engineering students at the University of Michigan and Northwestern University have worked on projects to develop safer designs for dressers. KID is also fighting for a more robust standard for furniture at the federal level so no parent or child has to suffer from a furniture tip-over.
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    • Go apple picking, check out fall festivals and pumpkin farms, search for homes decked out for Halloween and more ways to celebrate fall with your family.
      It’s that time of year when there is pumpkin-flavored EVERYTHING and the weather is absolutely perfect for exploring before old man winter comes and sends us all into a seasonal depression (c’mon, I know I’m not the only one who goes crazy being cooped up inside with energetic little ones, right?!?!).
      So make the most out of fall in Chicagoland and create your own family fall bucket list. Need some inspiration? Here’s what is on ours—and be sure to keep up with our autumnal activities over on Instagram, too!
      Go apple picking.
      Go on a nature walk to admire the fall colors.
      Rake leaves…and of course jump into them!
      Head to a local pumpkin farm and pick your own pumpkin.
      Throw a pumpkin carving party.
      Celebrate Oktoberfest at some of these family-friendly celebrations.
      Drive around Chicagoland to visit some of the absolute best decorations and homes that are decked out for Halloween.
      Take part in the biggest jack-o-lantern display in the Midwest!
      Have a big family bonfire…with s’mores, of course!
      Check out some of the many family friendly fall fests going on around Chicagoland.
      Pop some popcorn and watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
      Bake pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
      Collect colorful leaves and make some crafts from them (paper plate, scissors, glue and you have the perfect fall leaf wreath).
      Go on a search for the best pie in Chicagoland. Don’t know where to start? Check these out!
      Happy fall, y’all!
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    • Setting healthy boundaries for screen time is key for kids' physical growth and emotional well-being. Here are some tried-and-true guidelines.
      Recently, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) changed its rules for screen time for children to meet more modern times. Much has changed since I had my first child in 2007, back when iPhones had just come out and iPads did not exist. Establishing healthy screen time boundaries has been a priority for me from the beginning.
      As a health educator, I have read up on the studies about too much screen time. It can lead to attention problems, sleep disorders and being overweight. My goal is to raise emotionally, intellectually and physically healthy children. While our bodies continue to get acclimated to our advancing technological times, setting healthy boundaries is key for their physical growth and emotional well-being.
      A few tried-and-true guidelines:
      No screen time while dining out or at the dinner table
      No iPhones at restaurants? YES! Remember: We are made for relationships, and having our kids learn the art of conversing starts by watching us. Engaging in lighthearted conversations while dining out is, unfortunately, a learned skill-set these days. Lead by example: put your phone away and converse. Each night at dinner, I ask my kids to share the peak and the pit of their day. By the time we are all done sharing, we have finished our meal and had a wonderful conversation.
      Schedule unstructured playtime 
      It stimulates creativity and fosters imagination.
      No screen time two hours before bedtime 
      There is plenty of evidence that blue light, emitted by smartphones, tablets, laptops, and many other electronic devices, is impacting on the quantity and quality of the sleep we are getting. Getting blue light naturally from the sun is important; it helps us to stay awake. However, blue light that comes from screens tells our brains that it isn’t time to sleep. This disrupts our pineal gland from producing melatonin. Melatonin is the most important factor and plays an important role in our metabolism and our keeping our immune system healthy. This is true for all ages, but more important for our young children, and here’s why: One of the important hormones that is released during the deepest stages of sleep is Human Growth Hormone (HGH). This is essential for our body to heal, recover, grow and to perform well in athletics.
      Disconnect to reconnect 
      If you are giving into your child for more screen time, ask yourself, Is it really for my sanity? Or is it to keep my child quiet? Saying no will empower them to think of something else to do. If not, show them another option. Building, playing dolls and coloring are all useful ways to grow their minds and learn other fundamental skills.
      Related posts:
      I feel no guilt about my kids' screen time
      How unplugging made me a happier parent
      How to make traveling with kids less awful
      Read more...
    • How to manage your and your child's emotions about the first summer at overnight camp.
      As a parent and director of an overnight summer camp, I know that at this point in the season, campers and parents begin to experience a wide range of emotions (myself included!). Hopefully, the predominant feelings are those of excitement, but it’s also natural to be apprehensive and nervous. While it may be challenging to deal with these conflicting emotions, there are several things you can do to manage these emotions and set your child up for a successful and fun summer.
      Do a dry run. Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest worries for children attending camp, so time spent at home “practicing” a typical day at camp may provide some reassurance and self-confidence. For example, have your child practice some of their routines without your assistance, such as getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, or picking out clothes in the morning.
      Practice overnights away. If your child has not slept away from home before, the best thing you can do for them is to arrange sleepovers between now and the beginning of camp. These experiences will stimulate feelings of independence and give your child confidence that they can cope with longer separations from home.
      Talk about your communication plan with your child. Remind them that they may not have access to phones but that they will be able to write letters and that you will be sending them mail. Help them create an address book with everyone’s contact information so that they can keep in touch with family and friends. Packing pre-addressed, stamped envelopes is a great way to ensure that letters get sent!
      Keep familiar faces nearby. Help your child create a little photo album of some of their favorite photos to bring with them. They will be able to show their friends and counselors and tell them all about where they are from!
      Be realistic. Like the rest of life, camp will have high and low moments and your child may have some down moments. Your child should not feel pressured to feel a certain way at camp. Remind them that their main goal should be to have fun, and remind them that there will always be a counselor to talk to if they do ever feel sad.
      Avoid the “get out” clause. DO NOT make promises that imply that you will pick them up if they are sad or want to come home. These statements set your child up for failure and send a message that the only solution to a difficult feeling is to be rescued by you. It undermines your confidence in your child’s ability to cope with adversity.
      As you become anxious, try not to transmit that feeling to your child. Don’t emphasize the fact that you will miss them. Support words like “we will miss you so much” with “but we are so proud of you for trying this new experience.” Kids often internalize their parents’ anxiety and if your child is worried that you will be sad when they are gone, they may not be able to fully enjoy their experience.
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    • It should come as no surprise that more and more dads want to be hands-on in every area of their children’s lives. That's our job.
      Exhausted, sweating, and questioning my travel attire (for some reason I thought jeans and a hooded sweatshirt would make the perfect Caribbean outfit), I just wanted to escape the customs line at Punta Cana International, find a bottled water and our seats on the shuttle, and then finally check in to the resort so the relaxing part of our four-day Dominican Republic vacation could begin.
      With our then–8-month-old son taking in the sights from his comfy perch in the Ergobaby, my wife and I worked our way up to third or fourth in line when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw a man in his early- to mid-60s we had spoken with a few minutes earlier during the brief shuttle ride from our plane to the customs building. Our son’s penguin pajamas were the topic of that lighthearted conversation as he and his wife shared how they used to read their son a penguin book.
      This friendly exchange was a nice way to break up the strains and stresses that come with disembarking a plane with your hands full of luggage and an infant who could get agitated at a moment’s notice. But once we stepped off that shuttle, I assumed the conversation was over and we could get back to the business of starting this trip.
      “You know what? I just want to tell you you’re a great dad,” this man told me with a wide smile.
      Excuse me? But … why? After saying, “thank you,” my mind started racing as I wondered what I possibly could have done during the four-plus-hour flight from Midway, or during our conversation on the shuttle, that would cause this man to go out of his way to compliment me on my parenting abilities.
      “I’ve been watching you with your son,” he continued. “It pays off spending time with your children because they will grow up being close to you.”
      What a nice comment. I had never heard someone say it quite that way. It made me think how my wife and I would love nothing more than to always have a strong relationship with our son. But beyond that, his unexpected comments made me wonder why my wife, no matter how much she does and how much she means to our family, rarely, if ever, receives these type of comments from strangers or family members. I’m also guilty of not taking enough time to voice my appreciation for what she does, and I’m embarrassed to say that because my wife, without a doubt, is the one who makes our family work.
      She’s the one who brings the calm when our son’s bedtime storms arrive. She’s the one who creates catchy French songs on the fly and transforms feeding and diaper time into fun and memorable experiences for all. She’s the one poring over baby nutrition books and websites and spending Sunday afternoons cooking so our son can experiment with new foods and flavors. She’s the one learning about child developmental stages and educating me on what we should expect. She’s the one ordering his diapers and clothes and toys and ensuring that our son’s needs are always met. She’s one of a kind.
      Yet, despite all of this, she too frequently gets unsolicited advice from people who have no business telling her how to be a mom. “Your son is crying—he must be hungry.” (Even though he just ate.) “You need to hold him more.” And I love this one: “He’s sneezing. You need to change his diaper.” Meanwhile, I’m the frequent recipient of the “You’re such a great dad!” looks and comments from strangers for just doing what dads should be doing, like making a bottle in the grocery store aisle and feeding my child when the “I’m hungry” tears start flowing, taking him on walks around the neighborhood in his stroller, changing diapers—even if that means on the floor—when we're at a restaurant or store, or carrying him off a plane and interacting with him.
      And let’s not forget the people who go out of their way to help me when I’m struggling to maneuver my son’s stroller, like the woman at the cleaners who barely looks me in the eye when I’m alone but jumps out from behind the counter and props the door open for us (and makes plenty of baby noises) when my son is along for the ride, or if we’re taking a walk and I drop something. When my wife was pregnant she sometimes couldn’t find a resting spot on the 146 or 148 bus after a long day at work because people wouldn’t give up their seats.
      I’m sure much of the parenting praise I receive, and the lack of it that’s directed toward my wife, can be attributed to generational and cultural differences, as I’m certain, even in 2017, it’s a shock for some to see a dad taking care of “mommy duties.” But times have changed, and it should come as no surprise that more and more dads want to be hands-on in every area of their children’s lives. That doesn’t mean, though, that those dads deserve a pat on the back for just being around or getting their hands a little dirty. That’s our job.
      I think we can all do a better job of delivering praise—and how about stopping the criticism and shaming?—to the ones who have, for far too long, taken on much of the parenting duties while being unappreciated for all their efforts.
      The moms.
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    • Selling your home is stressful enough. Adding little kids to the mix and takes it to another level. Here's one mom's advice on how to get through it.
      Selling your house is stressful. Emotions run high, there are many sleepless nights…and I’m just talking about the adults. When there are kids involved with selling real estate, everything gets amped up even more. How do I know? Because I’m going through the process right now and it has been a roller coaster that I can’t wait to get off of.   So take some of my advice and follow these 6 tips for selling your house while raising small children:   Expect things to take longer than they actually should. What do I mean, exactly? Well, if you still need to stain the fence or hang a new light fixture, give yourself more time to do it than you would expect if you didn’t have little ones around asking if they can help paint, why you are doing the handy work, and basically holding all of your tools hostage.   Try to find a real estate agent who is a parent. Why? Because she understands the need to have advance notice for showings and that you can’t keep a house immaculate for showings when there are little ones around.   Don’t totally give up on your kids’ schedules just because you are selling your house. If someone is really interested in your home, they will come to see it at a time that works for both of you. There is no need to keep your child up an hour past bedtime in hopes of someone coming to check out your place. I mean, it’s not like the kiddos are going to sleep in the next morning to make up for it!   Explain the potential of moving to your kids as early and clearly as possible. That way, they will understand what is going on and there aren’t any surprises. Check out this great NPN post about making moving easier for kids.   Declutter not just for the sake of home selling, but also for the sake of your sanity. Is your home overrun by toys? Then rotate toys and follow these other decluttering tips. I divide my boys’ toys among five large bins. Each day, my boys play with the toys that are in one bin. If they are really excited about the contents, we play with that bin for a few days. If they get sick of the toys in the bin, we swap it out with another one. That way, it is easy to quickly clean up and contain the toys when you get a call for a showing…or for your piece of mind once you are settled in your new home, as well.   Have an escape plan. When your home is being shown, you need to get out of there. So take advantage of all of these free and fun places to play with your kids. Have family nearby? Visit them and have a great place to relax during this stressful time of transition. And if you are saving every penny for your dream home, avoid restaurants and instead pack a picnic. I mean, who doesn’t love having a campout?  
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    • Things can get real, real fast, when kids are playing. Here are ways to mediate that will help children grow.
      “What do I do when my baby reaches over and grabs another baby’s hair?” It's a common question at the playgroup I lead. 

      As a teacher of young children—birth to three years—I see lots of exploration, curiosity and expression of wants that affect other children, as well as parents and caregivers. What is the best way to guide young hearts, hands and minds in a group setting?

      It’s important to remember the age of the child. I have seen two babies, sitting and facing each other, with one extending her hands to touch and grab the other baby’s hair. Now, the intent is curiosity, so there is no need for discipline in this instance, but there is a need to guide the curiosity so no harm is caused.
      If the touch becomes too aggressive, as in grabbing or pinching, we want the adult to take the baby’s hands and stop that action while saying “gentle” and then guiding that hand in a gentle way over the respective caregiver/parent’s arm. Then let the baby try to reach out again—if that baby was not shocked or hurt by the original action. This serves two purposes: showing babies about gentle touch and the way to interact that is socially accepted and safe, and showing the other adults that we are mindful of our child’s or charge’s behavior. 

      When babies turn into toddlers, there is more awareness of actions and consequences. If a 16-month-old grabs a toy that another toddler is playing with and there isn’t an objection from the toy-holder, it does warrant the adult to step in and say something like, “Susan, your friend was playing with that toy. We need to give it back until she is finished and then it’s your turn.” Wait to see if Susan will return the toy. If she resists, then you tell her, “If you cannot give the toy to your friend, Mommy will help you.” Then the adult must follow through.
      Why do that, particularly when the other toddler doesn’t seem affected by it? This sets the stage for life. We cannot take or grab what is not ours; we have to wait our turn. If a fit ensues, then it is best to return the toy for your child and leave the classroom setting so that your child has time away from the environment and the class can continue without the disruption of crying or screaming. 

      As your child approaches two years of age, and older, you can start encouraging her to say “sorry.” If she won’t, then you may stay with your child as you both approach the offended kid and give the apology for your child. Again, we are modeling the behavior we want our child to learn, and it shows the other adults that we are respectful of other children’s feelings, too. 

      It takes a little time, but consistency is the best way to get positive results. 
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    • What to do to prepare and protect one of the most important things to you and your baby: your marriage or partnership.
      Becoming a parent is a joyful, exciting time. It is also a stressful, disorienting and exhausting time.
      There is cultural messaging that children are a joy and we should be happy throughout their babyhood. However, as a clinical psychologist and mother, I've seen that this is just not reality, and this message creates shame for mothers and partners who struggle with this major life transition. In fact, did you know that, statistically, couples report the lowest rates of marital satisfaction after the birth of a baby?
      These tiny humans have a way of taking up a huge amount of emotional space, time and energy. Much of this time, energy and attention you once had to give to your partner or yourself, so of course the transition will be a little bumpy!
      While you can find thousands of resources about the best car seat or swaddle, it’s rare to find information about what to do to prepare and protect one of the most important things to you and your baby: your marriage or partnership. So here are a few ways to help baby-proof your relationship and prepare your partnership for the transition to parenthood.
      Establish good communication strategies 
      It is vital to the long-term health of a partnership, particularly during times of stress, to learn how to ask for help and how to constructively express frustration or disappointment. No matter how close we are to someone, they can’t read our mind! It’s also important to reduce criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling (shutting your partner out), as these types of communication patterns have been identified as particularly damaging to a relationship. 
      Discuss expectations 
      Who will do the late-night feedings? Who is in charge of childcare? You may think you’re both on the same page, but sitting down to let your partner know your expectations, and to hear theirs, is essential.
      Prioritize connection 
      Parenting a newborn is all-encompassing. Connecting with your partner may not look like weekends away or long nights out for a while, but you can still make each other coffee, reach for their hand, or turn your phones and tv off to talk for a few minutes at night. These small moments of connection can make a huge difference.
      Work on your mindset
      Don’t keep score! When you aim to win an argument or you keep track of exact numbers of times you do something, even if you win, the relationship loses. See yourself as a team, you both have the same goal to care for this baby. Also remember that this is a temporary phase of life. When we have thoughts like, My life will always be this way, it can make our negative emotions more intense.
      Take care of yourself
      You can’t be a good partner if you’re totally depleted. Stay connected to friends, go for walks and lean on your support system. Postpartum anxiety or depression can compound the difficulty of adjusting to parenthood and to your relationship and absolutely necessitates treatment. If you or someone you love is experiencing difficulty, please reach out to me or to another mental health professional.
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    • Take your kids on a bike ride at these bike-friendly parks and trails in Chicago.
      Family biking in Chicago and the surrounding areas is fun, healthy, inexpensive and earth-friendly. You just have to know the rules of the road, and have a few family-friendly destinations in mind.
      Step 1: Start small
      Air up tires and adjust helmets so they are level to the ground, and won’t move around when your child shakes her head yes or no. To warm up, ride around the block or in a paved park or schoolyard. Try riding to a favorite park that is a little too far to walk. Living in Roscoe Village, one of our favorite destinations is Margaret Donahue Park near School Street and Racine Avenue. Short rides give you a chance to try out your equipment and learn your rider’s limits. Remember that little bikes have little wheels, so no matter how hard your child pedals, it’s harder for them to go as far as you or older siblings. The important thing is just to get out there.
      Step 2: Go farther
      Your kids are ready to caravan with you on the street only when they can ride in a straight line and will follow all of your verbal instructions. Until then, ride with them in a seat, trailer or cargo bike or stick to off-street trails. Try an out-and-back ride or bring your bikes to a destination via your car or on the train. Google Maps bike directions are easy to use and the City of Chicago publishes maps that show all the bike lanes, paths and recommended streets. View the map online or pick up a free copy at your local bike shop. Bring snacks, water, sunblock, a first aid kit, and a well-charged phone.
      Family-friendly destinations
      River Park, 5100 N. Francisco Ave. (at Foster Ave.) Ride, picnic, swim, splash and swing along the river.
      Horner Park, 2741 W. Montrose Ave. (Montrose Ave. & California Ave.) Gentle hills make this a great place to pick up speed to learn balance.
      Lincoln Park Zoo, 2001 N. Clark St. (Fullerton Ave. & Stockton Dr.) Plenty of bike racks and so much to see.
      Gompers Park, 4222 W. Foster Ave. (Foster Ave. & Kostner Ave.) Jump on the North Branch Trail, which goes all the way to the Chicago Botanic Gardens.
      Promontory Point, 491 S. Shore Dr. (55th St. & the Lake) Some of the best views for miles.
      Northerly Island / 12th St. Beach, 1200 S. Linn White Dr. (near Roosevelt Rd. & the Lake) Beautiful picnic and bird-watching spot.
      Green Bay Trail, 1200 Wilmette Ave. (East side of Green Bay Rd. at Wilmette Ave.) Tree-lined trail that passes through numerous parks.
      The Garden Jumps at Clark Park, 3400 N. Rockwell St. (Melrose & the east side of the River) Dirt jumps and paved path riding for all ages.
      The 606 Bloomingdale Trail (between Lawndale Ave. & Ashland Ave.) An elevated path with easy access to parks and restaurants.
      Chicago Kidical Mass Neighborhood family rides throughout the city and some suburbs. Meet other families and see different kinds of bikes and carriers. See upcoming events at Facebook.com/ChicagoFamilyBiking.
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    • Have the urge to purge? De-clutter and donate toys and clothes as a family by making it a fun learning experience.
      Chicagoans don’t need to wait for spring cleaning time to come around. With months of cold, inhospitable weather, there’s plenty of time to fit in a January purge beforehand. After the abundance of the holidays and the resolutions of the New Year, this is the perfect time to clear out the old.
      I enjoy this enforced home time to reassess what our family has and needs, and to get organized. However, while clearing out can seem like a great idea when you start, it can quickly become overwhelming. To prevent being left with heaps of random objects and fraught family members, I implement these steps to keep the project under control — and even enjoyable.
      [Related: How to counter consumer culture with your kids]
      Involve the whole family. I use these purges as an opportunity to speak to my children about giving. This is the perfect opportunity to highlight how lucky we are and to emphasize the positive qualities of generosity and empathy. Ensuring all members of the household have a say in what is donated and where, there is ownership and a willingness to participate.
      Set aside some time. Find a time to embark upon your purge when you’re not going to be rushed. Fitting something in between appointments is asking for trouble. Things do not always go to plan and your younger helpers might not work as quickly as you’d like. Allocating a longer stretch on the calendar keeps everyone relaxed. Then if you have some time to spare, you can reward your team with a well-earned snack.
      Gather bags and boxes. When you’ve set a date, the next step is to ensure that you have enough bags and boxes to sort unwanted items into. Especially now that stores aren’t giving out bags so readily, these may not be on hand. You don’t want to be left with piles of stuff that you need to deal with later.
      Assign tasks. Determine which areas to be purged can involve children and which might be best dealt with alone. Clothes could be an easy one to enlist help with. Little ones can understand the concept of giving away pieces that don’t fit. Toys you might have to sort through yourself, to avoid emotional outbursts.
      [Related: A British expat on teaching kids manners]
      Divide your donations. As you go, divide things into separate bags or boxes depending upon type. Having all books together, toys together and clothes together makes it easier to donate things to the right place. You don’t want to have to re-sort later.
      Determine where to donate. Think ahead about where you want to send your chosen items, and be sure to check that they’re accepting donations. Some places only take seasonal items or are already heavily stocked in certain areas. Another crucial thing to keep in mind is drop-off hours. Loading up your chosen items, and be sure to check that they’re accepting donations. Some places only take seasonal items or are already heavily stocked in certain areas. Another crucial thing to keep in mind is drop-off hours. Loading up your car to find that your preferred destination is closed is a waste of precious time.
      I keep a list of resources to donate to. The schools and church we belong to have donation drives throughout the calendar year, so we store items specifically for those. We also know which charities take clothing, toys and books, and which places we can make year-round donations to when we’re ready. Resale stores can provide another outlet for higher-end items. Then there are of course resources where you can post and sell items online. For the more creative, organizing a swap social for friends can be fun and a great bonding opportunity, too. As they say, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure!
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    • Nip the most common toddler sleep problems in the bud with these 5 tips.
      Toddler sleep antics are akin to playing the game of Survivor: Who can outwit, outlast, outplay? We know who usually wins! As a physician and certified pediatric sleep specialist who has helped more than 1,000 toddlers and their families sleep better, I can assure you, if you have ever been the loser in your child’s survivor games, you are not alone. The good news is, you can win with a few helpful tips — if you are patient and consistent.
      1. Don’t ditch the crib too soon. Wait until at least age 3 to make the transition, if not later. By then your toddler can better understand the boundaries of the bed. If you have a crib jumper, don’t despair — but don’t bring him into your bed! First, try these techniques: Try to catch him in the act of climbing (a video monitor can help) and firmly tell him “no,” either through the monitor or in person (you may have to do this multiple times). If one side of the crib is higher, turn the crib around to put a higher obstacle in his way. Use a sleep sack. If he does climb out, be consistent about taking him back without talking or eye contact.
      2. Practice consistent routines. Children thrive on predictable routines, including bedtime. Do any combination of relaxing activities in the same order every night for about 20-30 minutes: read books, make up stories, discuss the day’s activities, sing songs, etc. Over time, he will associate this routine with sleep.
      3. Time it right. A well-timed bedtime can mean the difference between a peaceful bedtime and bedtime battles or night wakings. An overtired child at bedtime is one of the biggest reasons for stalling and for night wakings, because their bodies are in overdrive. Generally, bedtime should be about four-and-a-half hours after the end of a restorative one- to two-hour nap for toddlers aged 18 months to 3 years. If the nap is shorter, then move bedtime earlier using their behavior as your cue.
      4. Eliminate sleep crutches. If your toddler needs you to fall asleep, then when they cycle in and out of sleep throughout the night, they will most likely need your help getting back to sleep — more rocking, more milk, and so forth. Have consistent routines to allow your toddler to fall asleep on his own.
      5. Have a plan for your “jack in the box.” If your toddler decides to visit you either right after bedtime or in the middle of the night, the best technique is to take their hand and — without eye contact, emotion, or engagement — walk them straight back to bed without tucking them in or kissing them again. Make it unrewarding to curb the behavior. You may have to try more than once, but be assured he will will get the message and start sleeping through the night in no time.
      Related posts:
      How I deal with my toddler's meltdowns
      Mine, mine, mine! How to mediate playspace tiffs
      Read more...
    • No car? No problem! Here are some great playgrounds just blocks from an El stop.
      Load up the kids for an El playground adventure!

      Lois Klein Playground: 3550 N. Lincoln at Addison and Ravenswood
      El Stop: Brown Line, Addison
      Playground Details: Small, bustling playground in a busy area, yet the structures feel removed from the street and train tracks.  Enjoy some morning playtime then head to Roscoe Village for lunch. There is a toddler climbing structure, with some more advanced structures for the older set.
      [Related: Great playgrounds for crawlers and new walkers]
      Jonquil Playground: 1023 W Wrightwood Ave. at Sheffield and Lincoln
      El Stop: Between the Fullerton and Diversey, Brown Line 
      Playground Details: This playground is quiet, except when the El rumbles past one block away, and it is tucked in the back corner of a larger park that includes baseball fields and tennis courts. It is a busy playground close to many food options, and just a block away from another wonderful playground, Supera. There are areas within and outside of the fenced playground for a lovely picnic and a water sprayer for the hot, summer months.  Check out the challenging modern climbing structures for older kids.
      Sheil Playground: 3505 N. Southport Ave., just south of Addison 
      El Stop: Southport, Brown Line
      Playground Details: This playground offers modern climbing equipment with a Baseball theme throughout, complete with a huge baseball "scoreboard" chalkboard on the brick wall to the north. Bring chalk and keep score as you slide and play. Make a day of shopping, eating and playing, all without leaving Southport. Another playground, Juniper, which has a water sprayer, is 5 blocks away for shaded, cooler playtime. Note there are no swings at this playground, but the baseball theme offers up some good imaginative playtime. 
      Clybourn Playground: 1755 N. Clybourn Ave. at Sheffield and Willow

      El Stop: North & Clybourn, Red Line, or Armitage, Brown Line
      Playground Details: This feels like a city park: noisy and in the middle of a lot going on! The climbing structures are great fun. Perch on a swing or slide and watch the Brown Line el trains rumble past almost literally on top of the play area. Enjoy yummy food options close by and located in any direction.
      [Related: Best Chicago playgrounds for the potty-training toddler]
      Playground #540: 74 W. 24th Street just west of State Street and south of Cermak
      El Stop: Cermak-Chinatown, Red Line
      Playground Details: This playground and park feel wide open in an underdeveloped area, yet have the feel of an open prairie sandwiched between El lines. Best on a cooler day as there is no shade, #540 has great play details and a toddler structure. A large field and path around the perimeter of the park make for a great place to bike or scooter ride.
      Lane Beach, Berger and Loyola Playgrounds
      Lane Beach Playground: 5915 N. Sheridan Rd.
      Berger: 6205 N. Sheridan Rd.
      Loyola: 7023 N. Sheridan Rd. at the end of Greenleaf
      El Stops: Thorndale, Red Line (Lane); Granville, Red Line (Berger); Morse, Red Line (Loyola)
      Playground Details: Visit these beachside playgrounds for days of fun and sun. All three have a different vibe and all three are easily accessible via the Red Line. Lane Beach has new structures right next to a large, clean beach. Berger Feels like a vacation spot secluded from the city. Not only can you see the downtown skyline from the edge of the playground, there is also a cafe with public restrooms, all overlooking Lake Michigan (note there is no beach access here.)  Loyola is truly a beach playground with sand beneath the structures and adjacent to a large beach. Restrooms, food and drink on site!
      Ravenswood Manor Playground: 4626 N. Manor Ave. just west of the Chicago River
      El Stop: Francisco, Brown Line
      Playground Details: This playground within a beautiful park gives it a forest-like, peaceful setting. Trails run throughout the park and playground, so bring scooters and bikes. The two large separate structures offer many options to keep climbers busy! Picnic tables, benches and a nice grassy park area are all great options for snack time or lunchtime. Check out the beautiful red pergola.
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    • How to foster empathy and quell resentment in siblings of kids with developmental differences.
      Being the sibling of a child with a developmental disability, learning challenge or other special need can be complicated.   As with any sibling relationship, these brothers and sisters will play a variety of roles throughout life; playmate, confidant, teacher, protector, friend, enemy, follower and role model. Sibling relationships are often the longest-lasting relationships, and the “typical” sibling’s role will change over time, often taking on many of the concerns around caregiving that had been their parents’ jurisdiction during childhood. With over 4.5 million people with special needs in the United States, that leaves many brothers and sisters with a wide range of concerns and need for support.    So what can we, as parents, do to support our “typical” children as they face a long-term journey with their special-needs sibling?    Expect typical behavior—this includes conflict.
      Normal conflict is a part of healthy social development, even if it is difficult to watch. Typically developing children, like all children, get angry, misbehave and fight with their siblings sometimes. While it may make our lives more difficult, telling them “You should know better” or “It is your job to compromise” can result in feelings of guilt and undue pressure on the typical child.    Have the same expectations around chores and responsibilities, to the extent possible and reasonable.
      Holding all children to similar expectations promotes independence and helps quell resentment that often stems from having two sets of expectations.    Celebrate the achievements of everyone in the family.
      Having a child with special needs in the family makes attending events more challenging. As much as possible, one child’s special needs should not steal the spotlight from another child’s achievements. Acknowledging milestones of other children often requires arranging respite resources, creative problem-solving and flexibility on the part of all family members.    The greatest influence on a child’s understanding of his or her sibling with special needs is the parent’s perspective. The meaning and purpose we find in life’s challenges has a greater impact on our well-being than the challenges themselves. Parents who find and utilize information and resources, and whose interpretation of their child’s disability is infused with peace and grace, model a healthy interpretation for all of their children.
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    • What to do next after your child is diagnosed with a developmental difference such as autism, sensory processing disorder or other special needs.
      As your child grows and develops, you might find yourself worrying and wondering if their development is on track. And when it comes to development, there’s a lot to keep track of—feeding, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, speech, language, social-emotional development and play (to name a few!). 
      What happens if you feel your child is behind in one of these areas? To start, know that you are not alone. Every child develops uniquely and at their own pace. Talk to your pediatrician about your concerns. Your pediatrician will guide you to the right professional. 
      A diagnosis will help pinpoint what specific areas of your child’s development need to be addressed. A diagnosis also means you’re one step closer to receiving valuable treatment from which your child will greatly benefit. The doctor or therapist who gave your child a diagnosis will guide you toward the next steps. These steps typically include the following:
      Determine the best course of action. This is also known as a treatment plan, and may include the type of intervention your child needs, the frequency, the duration and guidance for you as a parent.  Learn about your insurance benefits. This will ease unneeded stress by ensuring you know what will be covered ahead of time.  Find a therapist to implement the treatment plan. Your pediatrician is an excellent resource for referrals to health care providers that can best help your child. If your child needs multiple therapies (which many do), you may prefer a setting that offers multiple therapeutic disciplines at the same site. Write your questions down. Your therapist’s job is not only to help your child; it’s also to help you. This includes answering your questions, teaching you about your child’s strengths and weaknesses, and educating you how to best help your child. Don’t let your questions linger; seek the answers you need for peace of mind. Write your concerns down. Be specific, and provide examples. Your child’s therapist will likely meet your child for 1-2 hours during the first appointment, which will provide only one snapshot of your child. To help your child’s therapist better understand your child in other contexts (e.g., home, school, with peers, etc.), be ready to share information about your concerns.  Connect with other parents. It can feel overwhelming and even scary to learn your child may be behind in their development. To ease your mind, seek support from other parents who have been there, too. NPN offers a monthly Developmental Differences Parent Support Group. Check the NPN calendar to find the next meeting and sign up. Finally, continue to remember that every child is unique, including their pace of development, special areas where they excel, and certain areas that seem harder for them. By seeking help for your child, you are helping them grow and develop to their full potential and ultimately helping them succeed in life.   
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