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    • A physical therapist lays out the most common ailments pregnant and new moms suffer that few people talk about.
      As a women’s health physical therapist (PT), I see many women during their year of childbirth. Popular culture often depicts pregnant women effortlessly exercising into the third trimester, then “magically” back to their pre-pregnancy shape and activity soon after delivery. The female body goes through much transformation during this year, but for many women, it does not feel so “magical.”
      Many of my patients say they wish they had known to look for some of the issues I treat them for. Here are the 5 most common ailments women should be aware of during and after pregnancy—and how physical therapy can help.
      1. Severe back pain is not normal. Although some minor back pain during pregnancy is common, pain that limits your ability to function, move, exercise or sleep is not normal! Studies show that back pain during pregnancy may become chronic if it is not treated. If it hurts to move or do your daily activities, ask your doctor/midwife for a referral to PT—most pain can be easily treated.
      2. Your abdominals may split. Diastasis recti abdominis (DRA) is a common condition during pregnancy where the “six-pack” abdominal muscles separate down the middle. After childbirth, some women may notice there is either a gap or a bulge in this space that comes up when they try to do a sit up. If you see this, stop the sit ups and see a PT to get the right abdominal exercises to strengthen effectively.
      3. Doing kegels is important. Our pelvic floor (kegel) muscles take a huge hit during pregnancy and vaginal childbirth. We can’t always predict delivery complications but the healthier these muscles are at the start, the better the recovery. Research shows kegels may decrease urinary leakage during pregnancy and after delivery. A women’s health PT can help design the right exercise program for you.
      [Related: Give yourself time to get back in shape after baby]
      4. Childbirth does a number on your pelvic floor. For a baby to emerge, muscles in the vagina stretch an incredible amount, and some tearing may occur. The muscles may be very weak, painful, and difficult to control. Pelvic pain, urinary or bowel/gas incontinence can result. If you tear a muscle in your shoulder, it is likely you would consider rehabilitation to get stronger, more flexible and functional. Your pelvic floor deserves the same attention! Pelvic floor rehabilitation can help you recover and get back on track.
      5. Having sex may not be easy. Fatigue, time constraints, lack of privacy and changes in libido commonly hinder the sex life of new parents. For many women, pain is an important limiting factor. Remember No. 4 above? Scar tissue and injured muscles may be the culprit for much of the pain symptoms. During your six-week OB visit, if the pelvic exam is painful and the idea of sex seems scary, ask your OB or midwife to refer you for pelvic floor PT to improve the health and flexibility of the tissues.
       
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    • An infertility expert offers tips on getting through December.
      When you have fertility issues, the holidays can feel like a punch to your heart every time you open up a card with tons of adorable children or see the many social posts of holiday traditions for children.
      Every year, I tape the holiday cards to the front of my refrigerator. My first round of IVF failed around November of 2008. I got pregnant and miscarried six weeks later. So, with that first holiday, taping the cards up on the fridge was a bit painful. And then, trying to rise above feeling pity for myself, I kept the cards up until the end of January as usual.
      When trying for my second, the cards-on-the-fridge tradition became a game of pain-and-torture. I had three holidays of taping up those cards and feeling finger-flicks of pain in my heart with every card I put up, and then staring at them for a month.
      Don’t make the mistakes that I made. Be kinder to yourself and put yourself first—because you deserve it.
      Here are some techniques that I have gathered and created throughout the years to help my clients deal with Holiday Infertility Pains.
      1. Hide the holiday cards except for the ones that make you smile when you open them.
      2.Get off social media until January 5. Removing social media is a freedom like no other.  And the time you will get back in your life can be used for Nos. 3, 4, 5 and 6 instead.
      3. Create an appreciation log. This log is simply the gratuity journal that Oprah has been telling us about for years. If you are often on the go, use a cloud-based organizational app like Evernote to keep the log. Research has proven that those who write about things they appreciate every day are healthier and happier. So, if the holidays are extra hard due to infertility, this is a great way to reverse some of those feelings. It is harder to be sad and feeling like your life is missing something when you actively notice and record all of the good people and events that surround you.  And if the people around you are not making you a better, happier person, you now have your New Year's resolution completed.
      4. Meditation feels like Valium. Download the Headspace app for a 10-minute guided meditation. Plan this into your schedule so you cannot skip it. If you do skip, you need a new time during the day to do it. And if you are very anxious, do deep breathing (into the nose for 8 seconds and out of the mouth for 8 seconds) for 2–5 minutes. Set your phone, so you do not have to check the time. And then do regular breathing, or guided meditation, for another 5 minutes.
      5. Create a vision board. Include a positive pregnancy test, a picture of a baby ultrasound, a picture of a pregnant woman’s belly, a picture of someone in the hospital holding their baby for the first time (remove any faces), and a family picture with as many children in it that you ultimately want. Keep this in a place where you will see it multiple times a day. You can either cut and paste pictures from online or use Pinterest. Look at this board often and imagine you in those pictures. Feel what it feels like to be that person.
      6. Talk to your BFF (Best Fertility Friend). If you keep all of this pain and negativity inside, there will not be enough room for your baby-to-be to grow. You need a completely clear mind and body. Call or text your BFF as often as possible to talk, vent and create strategies for your next journey to getting one, or another, child. And if you do not have someone like this in your life, I would be honored to be that person for you.
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    • Going on a trip with your extended family and kids? Here are 5 tips to make sure the vacation goes smoothly.
      My family of five loves to travel, so we escape Chicago as often as humanly possible. We began our journey vacationing with our extended family after having our third son and officially being outnumbered by our children. Now, five years later, extended family vacations are a regular part of our lives, and we often travel with grandparents from both sides. So, how do we all get along? If you’re the cruise director for your family, listen up! With these tips, paradise is closer than you think.
      Get on the same page 
      Be proactive about sharing travel details in advance by writing the trip details in one mass-email to everyone, so that there won’t be any misunderstandings about the plans. I email the extended family two months before the trip, then again when we’re one month out, and finally the week before blast-off. I make sure I am super clear about what the core itinerary is, while at the same time asking the grandparents if there is anything they’d like to add. It’s so much easier to accommodate everyone with early, consistent communication!
      Set financial expectations 
      Money talk makes most people squirm, so before your big happy clan hits the road together, be sure to agree on who is paying for what. Traveling is expensive, and even the best-laid plans can result in some unanticipated expenses, so the clearer you are about financial obligations, the less stress your group will have when the bill comes.
      Keep it loose 
      Remember why you’re all on vacation together: to sloooow down and be together. If you’re traveling with children, they don’t want to be cooped up on a tour bus traveling for hours to see ancient ruins. Keep the vacation activities centered around meals and local activities. If anyone wants to venture a little further to do some sightseeing, they can do that on their own.
      Have your child’s back 
      Keep the focus — first and foremost — on your child’s needs. He will be overstimulated by this fun, new environment, and it’s your job to make sure he doesn’t go off the deep end. Do your best to maintain your routine feeding and sleeping schedule when you’re away. And, yes, this means standing up to Grandma when she suggests a late dinner at 8pm.
      Have grown-up time-outs 
      Make sure to set aside daily breaks for the grandparents because they’re not used to the extreme pace of daily child rearing. You don’t want to wear them out after only three days — plus, not everyone wants to be together all of the time. Family vacation is not a sprint; slow and steady wins this race.
      As I sit next to my dad on the beach watching the sunset and talking about our many trips together, we agree that family vacations are not all rainbows and unicorns. However, we have figured out the best formula for our family so that we want to keep traveling together again and again.
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    • Did you apply for seats for your child at Open Enrollment, Magnet, Magnet Cluster and Selective Enrollment Chicago Public Schools? Here's what to expect.
      For Chicago parents who have applied for Chicago Public School (CPS) seats at Open Enrollment, Magnet, Magnet Cluster and Selective Enrollment Elementary Schools for the 2019-2020 school year, the countdown is underway for the CPS notification date. Let the nail-biting begin!
      Notification letters for preK–eighth grade will be released on April 22. An email and a robocall will be sent to the contact information on the student’s online application file with directions on how to access the online notifications and how to accept an offer, if applicable. 
      Are you a first-time CPS applicant, or just curious about the process? Here’s a quick run-down on what to expect from your notification(s):
      Magnet, magnet cluster and open enrollment lottery applicants: Once results are available, online applicants at GoCPS will see a “View Application Status” button next to each student’s name on the Student Dashboard. The results screen will list all of the schools you applied for and next to each school’s name, an indication of whether your child was offered a seat or waitlisted. If waitlisted, there will be a number indicating your child’s waitlist number. It is possible to receive offers from more than one school, and it's also possible to be waitlisted at every school. If your child is on a waitlist that is not the general waitlist, this will be indicated as well (e.g., sibling, proximity, tier).  You can also click on “View & Print Notification Letter” to see the traditional CPS letter showing the same information.
      Selective enrollment elementary school (SEES) applicants: All SEES applicants who have completed the testing requirement for the program(s) they have applied to (Classical and/or Regional Gifted Center) will receive either ONE offer or no offers. No multiple offers are given to SEES applicants applying to early elementary grades. Thus, the GoCPS portal will include your child’s test score(s) and which, if any, SEES program to which your child has been offered a seat. It will also indicate if your child has not been offered a seat yet and additional information regarding subsequent acceptance rounds. You can click “View & Print Notification Letter” to see the traditional CPS letter showing the same information.
      For all programs, your GoCPS portal will indicate a deadline by which you must accept or decline your child’s seat at any of the offered schools. This year’s deadline is May 6 for first-round offers, and the waitlist process opens on May 10. You should use this time to visit or re-visit those schools to help make or confirm your decision. Schools should post open house dates for accepted students and parents on the event calendar at the CPS website, go.cps.edu, or check each individual’s school website for more details.
      For lottery-based (non-selective enrollment) schools, acceptance at one school does not remove your child’s name from the acceptance and/or waitlists at any of the other lottery-based schools. In other words, you may accept an offer you received and if you later receive an offer from a school where your child was waitlisted, you may accept that offer instead.
      For those accepted to a SEES program, accepting your child’s seat at that program will remove your child’s name from the applicant list at all other SEES programs ranked on his/her application. If you decline an offered seat, your child’s name will remain on the applicant list(s) for all other schools ranked on their application. Accepting or declining a seat in a SEES program has no bearing on your child’s separate non-selective lottery application, if applicable. 
      Bear in mind that after this initial notification period, waitlists will continue to move and offers will be given via phone and/or GoCPS (not mail) through the spring and into summer (and sometimes fall). It’s also important to note that when parents of waitlisted students are contacted, they are given only 48 hours (or as little as 2 hours in late summer) to accept or decline a seat. A second-round application process (End-of-Year Citywide Options Program) will also be available from May 22–29 to fill any open seats at magnet, magnet cluster and open enrollment schools. Please note that selective enrollment schools are NOT typically part of this process.
      Want more info? Visit go.cps.edu to learn more about CPS acceptance and notification and follow the CPS conversations on the NPN Discussion Forum. Plus, check out School Resources Map to help you make your final school decision. New to CPS applications? NPN members can watch a 4-part video on everything you need to know about CPS.
      Grace Lee Sawin is a co-founder of Chicago School GPS (ChiSchoolGPS.com). Chicago School GPS helps Chicago families navigate the often confusing world of public and private school searches, from preschool to high school, so that they can arrive at their school destination, no matter when they begin their journey.
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    • It's time to start applying for CPS preschool! But which program is right for your child, and how do you apply? We have answers.
      Preschool in Chicago is not required, but many families consider enrolling their children into a local preschool option when their child is 3 years old. To attend a CPS-based preschool, however, requires understanding the differences between the options.
      If you’re thinking about CPS magnet schools for preschool next fall, the time to look into those programs is…now! Because you apply one year before entry, this is the fall to apply if your child is 2 by this past Sept. 1st for programs that start at 3 years old. Applications for the 2021-2022 school year for 3 magnet preschools (Suder, Drummond and Inter-American) open on October 12, 2020, are due January 8, 2021. Parents can create their student’s CPS ID at Go.CPS.edu. If you are thinking about other preschool programs hosted in CPS schools (Tuition-Based PreK or Chicago Early Learning Programs), the deadline varies as outlined below.
      [Related: Getting into Harvard doesn't need to start in preschool]
      Here’s a quick rundown of the programs and application requirements for CPS preschool programs:
      Tuition-Based Preschool (TBP): Full-day programs that provide childcare in addition to preschool (10-hour day; hours may vary by school). Housed in seven elementary schools, children must be age 3 or 4 and potty-trained by September 1. Applications are processed one year before entry either first-come, first-served or via selection criteria directly through each school. Priority for open seats goes to returning students and their siblings. Tuition for 2020-2021 is $15,275, which includes a $700 non-refundable deposit required to hold your child’s spot in the class, if offered. Visit the CPS Tuition-Based Preschool page for a list of school locations and to print an application.  
      Chicago Early Learning Preschool (CEL): Either half-day (2.5–3 hours) or full-day (7 hours) programs housed in select elementary schools, with tuition determined by a sliding scale or waived (announced pre-pandemic). Children must be age 3 or 4 and potty-trained by September 1. Typically, 3-year-olds are hosted by community-based sites while 4-year-olds can be in CPS school-based locations. The application process is completely online, with a limited number of application support sites. Applicants are typically added to a waitlist until the number of open spots is determined. Visit www.chicagoearlylearning.org for application information and updates; the application period will begin in spring 2021 for Fall 2021 entry, but some sites may have rolling availability.
      Magnet Preschool Programs: CPS offers Montessori preschool programs at two magnet elementary schools: Drummond and Suder; children must be age 3 and potty trained by September 1. CPS also offers one dual language-immersion (Spanish/English) preschool program at Inter-American; children must be age 4 by September 1. Seats in magnet programs are awarded via a computerized lottery, with priority given for applicants who are siblings of current students. In the entry year of a magnet program, priority is also given to those who reside within 1.5 miles of the school and then any remaining entry year seats are distributed evenly by CPS Tier. Inter-American Magnet School also requires applicants to indicate their dominant language as part of the application process, and a language screening is required after an applicant is admitted.
      The Choice Elementary CPS application is required for the 3 magnet preschool programs; the online application period for 2021-2022 opens on October 12 and closes January 8, 2021, at 11:59pm. Go to go.cps.edu to apply. Acceptance into the 3 magnet preschool programs does guarantee admission into the school’s K-8 program, making spots in these programs highly competitive.
      [Related: What's up with Universal Pre-K? Here's what we know.]
      COVID has shifted tours and open houses to virtual formats this year and it’s always best to call each school you are interested in to get the details on how to apply and/or get on their waitlist; some programs have not yet determined the number of seats that will be open for next fall. 
      A couple of important notes regarding CPS preschool programs: Residing within the neighborhood boundaries of an elementary school that offers a preschool program does not guarantee admission into that school’s optional preschool program; an application is required from all entering students, and acceptance into a CPS preschool program that is not your neighborhood school does not guarantee admission into the school’s K-8 program (except for the magnet programs described above). 
      Want more info? Visit go.cps.edu to learn more about CPS acceptance and notification and follow the CPS conversations on the NPN Discussion Forum.
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    • The holidays can be sensory overload for special-needs kids. Try these Chicago activities that take care of your kids, and parents, too.
      With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, our special kiddos can get lost in the "sensory-overload shuffle" and may not feel very festive. Here are a couple of suggestions to keep parents and kids full of the holiday spirit.
      A sensory-friendly version of A Christmas Carol at the Goodman Theatre offers lower sound levels, the house lights left on and the opportunity for kids to walk around as much as they please. The theatre is also providing a designated area to retreat for those that need some quiet time. Dec. 30 at 2pm.
      Are the holidays just too much overall? Step back and just take in a movie with your kiddo to relax without all the holiday pressure. Check out AMC's Sensory Friendly Movies and Studio Movie Grill's Sensory Friendly Movies.
      Or take them to a museum where they can let off some steam and not be bombarded with the holiday hustle. Try The Children's Museum, Kohl Children’s Museum or Dupage Children’s Museum, all of which have sensory-friendly days.
      Create a holiday tradition. My daughter, Lia, loves the twinkling lights of the holiday displays so we pick one night put on her coziest holiday jammies and pack snacks and a thermos of hot cocoa and go for a car ride to see Sauganash's holiday lights. It’s become such a wonderful tradition in our family! 
      For those kiddos who thrive on the excitement, like mine does, go all out and do Winter Wonderfest at Navy Pier (tons of rides and ice-skating rink) or the CTA Holiday Train or Bus! Lights, crowds and fun for all! Yes, it's complete sensory overload, but some kids really love this and then maybe you can get a great night’s sleep out of the routinely sleepless child. Check Groupon and Living Social for special offers. For both Winter Wonderfest and the CTA, mention to the employees that your kiddo is special needs so you do not have to wait in those long lines. It works—we’ve done this every year. 
      Shopping is not always easy for our kiddos. Try to do the bulk of your shopping while they are in school, on a play dates or at family member's home. Don’t be shy to ask your family or friends for help. Like they say, it does take a village! Call in those favors now. You are going to need all the time you can get! Locally owned The Sensory Kids Store is a wonderful place to get your kiddos something extra-special online!
      Try to create an opportunity to get some much-needed alone time for you and your significant other. Check out Free Parents' Night Out offered by CST Academy. You can have three hours all to yourself! Be sure to register in advance. 
      Don’t forget about yourself. All the running around making sure everyone is happy can kill anyone’s spirit. You need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well. Get a small treat for yourself every time you get something accomplished from your list. Get a mani/pedi, get a latte and sit down somewhere to read an article from your favorite gossip magazine, or take a few minutes to enjoy some of the beautiful holiday decorations around you. You get the idea. Breathe!
      And finally, the holidays are about being together and cherishing all we have. Remember to try to give back however you can by volunteering or donating to a worthy cause. Misericordia, KEEN, Easter Seals and Ronald McDonald House are just a few of the many wonderful organizations that help our special family members. There is always a need for volunteers at most organizations that give us all so much! Check out the volunteer opportunities near you.
      No matter how you celebrate this holiday season, I hope you all are able to enjoy your loved ones to the fullest! 
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    • A thriving public neighborhood school is one of the biggest drivers in making a community great.
      This Trib article outlines the impact school choice has had on CPS neighborhood schools. While I haven't seen updated numbers, it's unlikely the trend has changed: Less than half of CPS students attended their assigned, in-boundary neighborhood school last year. The proliferation of charters is just one cause.
      Every spring on NPN we see the frenzy around trying to decide whether to take a spot at Awesome Elementary School or gamble on the wait list for Super Awesome Elementary School. Many of us elect to skip the CPS maze altogether and seek out the best private school option. While I don't intend to deprive anyone of all that fun, I just want to make a plea to anyone preparing for the next school year to consider your CPS neighborhood public school. 
      It's easy to follow discussions on the NPN forum about school applications and individual schools and draw the conclusion that there are only a few good options for educating our kids. There are so many little neighborhood school gems that barely get airtime on this site and one of them may be walking distance from your home. Last year I posted a question about my neighborhood school, New Field in Rogers Park, and literally had zero responses from NPN members. I also looked on the Great Schools site and saw nothing. So I decided to visit and absolutely fell in love with this amazing school that was on no one's radar.
      We've since gotten really involved with a beautiful school community and my son is thriving, loves school, and has a classroom experience that is every bit as great as the pricey private school he attended. I wish someone had suggested to me what I'm asking of you: if you're currently fretting about what to do about school consider your neighborhood public school, too. 
      Opting out of your neighborhood school has a real impact on that school. Funding is driven by enrollment—your child brings what is likely a substantial per-pupil dollar amount to whatever public school he or she attends. An overwhelming majority of CPS schools lost enrollment last year resulting in reduction of resources and for some, the threat of underutilization and closure. A school's success is driven, in large part, by the community that rallies around it. A supportive and engaged parent group and LSC means the world to administrators, teachers and students alike. And a thriving public neighborhood school is one of the biggest drivers in making a community great!
      I fully support anyone making the choice that's best for their children and family. I know there are religious reasons, special needs and other important considerations that drive where you send your kids to school. But if you're weighing your options, please make sure you pay your local neighborhood school a visit, talk to your neighbors who have children attending, sit in on an LSC meeting. Please to go forward fully informed.
      You may find your own little neighborhood school gem and have a big impact on that school community!
      This article first appeared as a post in the NPN discussion forum. Become an NPN member to join conversations Chicago parents are having about school choice, parenting, relationships and more!
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    • Try these easy ways to stay in shape with your child, from playground exercises to stroller-friendly runs.
      Last March I attended (not by choice) the Expectant Fathers class at Prentice Hospital. During these 2 ½ hours, 15–20 fathers-to-be sat around two long tables and listened as the presenter, a pediatrician and father of two, delivered the non-edited version of how life was about to change. It was funny at times. Scary at others. Eye-opening for sure.
      During one part of the session, we were presented with this question: “What are you most afraid of about becoming a father?” I could have scripted some of the responses:
      “I don’t know if I’m going to have enough money to support a child.”
      “I’m worried I won’t see my friends as much.”
      “I’ve never changed a diaper.”
      “I’m scared I won’t get enough sleep.”
      But then one of the soon-to-be dads across the table offered this:
      “I’m afraid I won’t be able to go to the gym as much.”
      I can’t remember if anyone laughed out loud, but I know I chuckled to myself. With all the other significant life changes that were about to smack each one of us in the face, pumping iron and getting a good sweat were at the top of his mind? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of being active—I was once a personal trainer and I’ve spent thousands of hours in gyms over the last 20 years—but I thought that I’d be just fine if my activity level dipped a little bit once baby arrived.
      Yet now a little more than a year into fatherhood, and understanding how woefully unprepared I am for my first marathon six months from now, I realize how wrong I was. Even if you don't have the time to get to the gym or go for a run as often as you'd like, it's crucial to stay moving and take care of your physical health as this can improve your mood, your quality of sleep, your energy level, and your ability to keep up with your increasingly mobile little one(s).
      For you parents who have lost some/most/all the “me-time” you once enjoyed, here are some ways to stay active (or get moving again), while keeping the kids involved:
      Park the stroller. Carrying your child obviously won’t work in all situations (your child doesn’t want to be picked up, you can no longer lift your child, you can lift your child but you’re just too damn tired and need a break). But if you want to give your arms, legs and back a nice workout, try leaving the stroller in the closet or trunk of your car when you’re out and about.
      Sign up for a class that gets you and your child moving. Try parent-child swimming, mommy/baby yoga, stroller fitness programs, etc. Enjoy the physical benefits and the bonding experience.
      Look for stroller-friendly races. These races can be difficult to find–and tough on kids if they’re strapped in for too long or if it’s not an ideal temperature—but they’re out there if you look. My wife and I saw a handful of children getting pushed in strollers when we completed the United Run for the Zoo 10K at Lincoln Park Zoo earlier this month.
      Turn off the TV. When your child isn’t planted in front of the television, he or she likely will be moving around. That means you probably will be, too.
      Go to the playground. The Chicago Park District lists 518 facilities around the city, so there is no shortage of playground options where you can push your child in a swing (work those arms, shoulders and back), play tag with your little one (there’s your cardio) and climb the steps (leg day) to the top of the slide.
      Find gyms with childcare services. As fun as it can be to connect with your little one while getting some exercise, sometimes you just need an hour alone at the gym without being attached to a stroller or baby carrier. In those cases, if you can’t line up a babysitter, there are gyms around the city with onsite childcare services. This will allow your little one to play in a supervised environment while you get in a much-needed workout. Do your research first to learn about these locations’ hours of operation and fees. You also want to find out the staff’s qualifications and how they deal with dirty diapers and toddler meltdowns.
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    • A veteran babysitter has honest answers to things parents often wonder about.
      Chicago-based artist and teacher Angela Oliver has over seven years of experience babysitting kids. Since joining UrbanSitter, an online babysitter-finding service, she’s sat for more than 35 families and has over 20 glowing reviews. Here, Angela answers the most common questions parents have when it comes to hiring a babysitter.
      What’s the most helpful information a parent can share in advance?
      First-aid and medical/emergency info and contacts, being made aware of any food allergies or ongoing healthcare needs are the most important bits of information. For infants, an overview of the baby’s daily routine is always helpful to know in advance—naptime routine and self-soothing, feedings, or special instructions for diapering.
      What do you usually eat on the job? When parents say “help yourself,” do you really help yourself?
      I usually make or order a sandwich—I like to keep meals simple whenever I babysit so I can be more readily available to respond to the child if they need me. I think “help yourself” means help yourself, but not to everything!
      How much do you charge per hour for overnights?
      I’ve yet to work an overnight shift, but typical overnight Chicago flat rates run from $75 to $100 from 10pm to 6am.
      What do you do when the kids are asleep? 
      I tidy up the house and prep for the child’s next meal if needed. If the child is still down for a nap or sleeping for the night, I may watch a movie if it’s been okayed by the child’s parents, or read and catch up on lesson planning.
      Do most parents tip you on top of your babysitting fees?
      Sometimes, but not often. I’m OK with that, though.
      Do most parents offer you transportation home?
      Most parents will offer me an Uber ride home whenever the job ends after 10pm.
      If you could share any piece of advice to parents, what would it be?
      Make sure sitters that are new to your family know how to unfold your stroller, strap up your baby carrier, adjust your high-chair, and properly use any other child safety product or feature in your home. For instance, that magnetic child-proof lock that keeps your cleaning supplies out of your toddler’s reach—your sitter might need to help tidy up after the kids later. Doing a quick how-to demo before you leave might save you a lot of back-and-forth texting with your new sitter later.
      You can find Angela—and more great babysitters like her—by signing up for a free account at UrbanSitter. Get a free month of unlimited sitter access and find sitters over 500 NPN families use and like at: https://www.urbansitter.com/promo/npn.
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    • These are the best Chicago playgrounds for kids who are new to potty training. With fieldhouses nearby, your kids won't have accidents!
      We’ve all been faced with the dilemma: How can we leave our house to go anywhere knowing that at any minute we will hear the dreaded statement of “I need to go to the bathroom!” when potty training our kids? Here are some playgrounds around Chicago with adjacent fieldhouses—with bathrooms! Just make sure you visit during weekdays when the fieldhouses will be open and bathroom facilities will be available.
      [Related: Potty Training for All Abilities (members-only video)]
      Margate Playground
      Location: 4921 N. Marine Dr., in the Uptown neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: The fieldhouse is adjacent to the playground and just a short dash in to use the bathroom when needed!
      The Playground Details: Margate is a large, bright, busy playground with lots to offer all ages. There are great toddler climbing structures including a truck, a pretend pond area with a "dock" and stone water creatures on which kids can sit, with various other toddler climbing structures. There are higher, more challenging climbing structure options for the older set.
      Wicker Playground
      Location: 1425 N. Damen Ave., in the Wicker Park neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: There is a large fieldhouse in this park, with a direct entrance from the playground. Phew!
      The Playground Details: Wicker is a busy playground along busy road, with the el rumbling by, but adjacency to a large park with mature trees creates a feeling of a more quiet location. Pack a lunch and make a day of this playground! Enjoy shaded play, water play, field play and watch the dogs romp and play across the field.
      Holstein Playground
      Location: 2200 N. Oakley Ave., in the Logan Square/Bucktown neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: A large fieldhouse is a short walk away, so don’t wait until the very last moment to make the bathroom dash!
      The Playground Details: Spend time in the large pool or small kids wading pool. When the pools shut down for swim break, change and use the restrooms in the field house, then play at the playground while drying off; a sure way to get the kids tired on a summer day! There are two separate structures: the traditional structure is easy for toddlers to navigate with smaller slides and less height. The more modern, challenging climbing structure will keep older kids entertained.
      Commercial Playground
      Location: 1845 W. Rice St., in the West Town/Wicker Park neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: A small fieldhouse adjacent to the playground makes a quick run to the potty easy!
      The Playground Details: Commercial is a fun, lively playground with many options for all ages. There is a water sprayer, ample climbing structures for all and a small picnic area. Check out the large "serpent" rising out of the playground for children to climb on.
      [Related: How to make potty training your toddler fun. Yes, fun.]
      Brands Playground
      Location: 3259 N. Elston Ave., in the Avondale neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: A large fieldhouse sits right next to the playground
      The Playground Details: A bustling playground located on a busy street with adjacent field house, Brands is a newer playground great for spending the day. Pack a picnic lunch and enjoy the large adjacent field for some quality outdoor time. 
      Athletic Field Playground
      Location: 3546 W. Addison St., in the Irving Park neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: You can splash here, then run to the bathroom in the fieldhouse!
      The Playground Details: Athletic has many climbing structures with a large water sprayer area that has covered benches nearby, perfect for snacks, sunblock application or taking a break from the hot summer sun. There are sunny and shaded grassy fields and flower areas surrounding playground.
      Eugene Playground
      Location: 5100 N. Ridgeway Ave., in the Albany Park neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: This is probably the longest walk to the fieldhouse of the playgrounds in this list, so be ready to hustle to get to the bathroom in time!
      The Playground Details: This is a peaceful, beautiful playground set within larger park. There are plentiful of paths for bike and scooter riding. Spend the day "hiking," enjoying the river and playing.
      [Related: Potty training regression: What it is and what to do about it]
      Sheil Playground
      Location: 3505 N. Southport Ave., in the Lakeview neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: Adjacent bustling fieldhouse right next to playground
      The Playground Details: Sheil is a small, modern playground with a baseball theme, complete with a huge baseball "scoreboard" chalkboard on the brick wall to the north. This playground is in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the Southport Corridor. Make a day of shopping, eating and playing, all without leaving Southport.
      Adams Playground
      Location: 1919 N. Seminary Ave., in the Lincoln Park neighborhood
      The Bathroom Scoop: A small fieldhouse is located within the playground grounds, barely a moment’s walk from the sandbox!
      The Playground Details: A staple in this neighborhood, Adams playground offers everything under sun and shade:  multiple play structures, a water sprayground, a large sandbox and picnic areas.
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    • Safe Chicago playgrounds and outdoor spaces with soft surfaces for crawlers and new walkers.
      When your crawler wants (and needs!) to play in a safe outdoor space, these playgrounds are great options to check out to let your newly mobile kiddo(s) explore and play. All have a soft rubber surface (forget mulch chips at this age as they only end up in their mouths!) and safe, fun and unique options to keep all ages entertained.
      Coliseum Playground
      Where? 1466 S. Wabash Ave. (on Wabash between S. 14th and S. 15th streets)
      Why go to crawl? Because that is ALL you can do here! No swings, no larger, high equipment, just lots and lots of fun crawl structures, such as houses, cars and trains. Bonus points for the el rumbling overhead and a dog friendly area within the park.
      Wisconsin Playground
      Where? 800 W. Wisconsin St. (Wisconsin and Halsted, between Armitage and North)
      Why go to crawl? Completely fenced in and very shady are just two of the many reasons this playground is excellent for crawling. A soft rubber surface, with inclines and rolling mounds, offer “hill” challenges for your newly mobile babes. Three baby swings at one end offer additional fun, and local families leave toys their older kids have outgrown that are perfect for crawlers and walkers to use, with new toys coming and going each month.
      “Boat” Playground
      Where? 3300 N. Lake Shore Drive (along Lakefront path north of Belmont between Aldine and Roscoe)
      Why go to crawl? This playground along the lakefront path mimics the lake with rolling wave mounds and small scale boats just begging to be crawled on and played in! Add in a few baby swings, and it’s a great destination via bike.  Bonus points for boat watching and more dog watching with a nearby dog park along Belmont Harbor.
      Walsh Playground
      Where? 1722 N. Ashland Ave. (on Ashland north of Wabansia)
      Why go to crawl? Sunny and lots of space, as well as dinosaur and airplane toddler structures, offer lots of little one fun! Add in many baby swings, and crawlers will have lots to do whether on the playground, in the grassy field, or watching the doggies run along the adjacent dog area.
      Brands Playground
      Where? 3259 N. Elston Ave. (Elston and Henderson, just a few blocks north of Belmont)
      Why go to crawl? Fenced in, a soft rubber surface and the perfect small toddler climbing structure that your crawler can easily and safely navigate, make this playground a great destination!  Check out the adjacent fieldhouse for classes (and bathrooms!).
      Palmer Playground
      Where? 3100 W. Palmer Square (Playground is located in the middle of Palmer Square between N. Kedzie and N. Humboldt.)
      Why go to crawl? This “playground” is not a traditional playground, but rather a discovery of different play areas that will delight your crawler with different sensory activities. Each nook, set on soft rubber surface, contains natural stone, a small slide, rolling mounds or “seats” that your crawler can enjoy.
      Commercial Playground
      Where? 1845 W. Rice St. (Rice St. between Wood and Wolcott, just north of Chicago Ave.)
      Why go to crawl? The large serpents’ head poking up from the soft rubber surface is reason enough to delight, but the ample climbing structures and water spray area offer great options for crawlers. A fieldhouse with bathrooms and classes are more great incentives.
      Portage Playground
      Where? 4100 N. Long Ave. (the playground is located near the intersection of Central Ave and Irving Park)
      Why go to crawl? Even I had a blast here, playing on the canoes and rolling soft rubber surface “waves.” Ample climbing structures, 7 baby swings and 2 bucket swings offer hours of playtime. On hot days, head over to the zero depth entry pool and water sprayers to cool off!
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    • 10 thoughts that will go through a parent’s head when school starts after summer.
      Right now my Facebook feed is filled with pictures of smiling (and I’m not going to lie, some frowning) photos of kids standing with signs that declare their first day of school. They are absolutely adorable in their best “first day of school” outfits, filled with nervous anticipation of what is to come for the upcoming school year.
      But I always wonder what these pictures would look like if there was a parent standing with an adorable personalized “back to school” sign. I mean, would anyone be brave enough to publicize their true feelings? I most definitely am, and will be rocking my own version of a “back to school” board in a few weeks—be sure to follow me on Instagram to check out the finished product. Until then, here are 10 thoughts that will go through a parent’s head on the first day of the school year:
      FREEDOM. Sweet, sweet freedom. My baby! How is my baby so grown up? I can remember bringing him/her home from the hospital like it was yesterday…where has the time gone?!? Where does everyone keep getting all of those cute “back to school” chalkboard signs? I’m lucky enough if I find a black marker and a blank piece of paper that doesn’t have toddler scribbles all over it. Look at that, we are actually on time for the first day of school. I’m totally going to be on time every morning. I mean, it’s really easy. I’ll just have to stay up until midnight getting everything ready the night before. No big deal, right? Speaking of prep work, that lunch I slaved over last night better get eaten. I mean, I cut the sandwich into a fish for crying out loud. I should have taken a picture of it to put on Instagram. Think I have enough time to take a quick picture before the bell rings? I’m officially old. Old enough to have a child in school. I used to be young, hip and totally cool. THIS. IS. DEPRESSING. Pictures! I have to take a picture. Wait, what? Storage full?!?!  NOOOOOOOOOO. I really hope my child gets the teacher who doesn’t believe in giving homework. No, I’m not crying. It’s allergies. Haven’t you heard of fall allergies? Does anyone have any tissues? Ok, you officially managed school drop off without completely freaking out and making a fool of yourself. Now just don’t forget to get to school pick up on time!
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    • Students’ success in school is not dependent on their abilities, their income background, or their race or ethnicity, according to a report by The New Teacher Project.
      We’ve been telling students and families that doing well in school creates opportunities—that showing up, doing the work, and meeting teachers’ expectations will prepare them for their futures. Unfortunately, that’s a myth.
      That’s the subject of The Opportunity Myth: What Students Can Show Us About How School Is Letting Them Down—and How to Fix It, a new research report we at TNTP, a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the injustice of educational inequality, published last month. 
      The Opportunity Myth unpacks a big question: Why are so many students graduating from high school ill-prepared for college and careers? Nationwide, 40 percent of college students take at least one remedial course. (That number is even higher for students of color: 66 percent of Black students and 53 percent of Latinx students, for example, end up in remedial courses.) Those courses add time and money to students’ higher education, and put them at greater risk of dropping out altogether. 
      We wanted to understand why that was happening, and what we—all of us who work in and around schools—could do to change it. We believed that a better understanding of what students experience in school every day would help us do that. So, we went straight to the source: students themselves. 
      We partnered with five school systems to observe nearly 1,000 lessons, analyze nearly 5,000 assignments and more than 20,000 student work samples, and collect nearly 30,000 student surveys conducted in real-time during their classes. We conducted focus groups and interviews with teachers and school leaders and interviewed more than 50 students in greater depth. 
      The young people in our sample reflect the richly diverse fabric of our public schools in every way. But they have a few things in common: The vast majority (94 percent overall) told us they intend to go to college. And among high schoolers, roughly 70 percent specifically aspire to careers that require at least a college degree. 
      Unfortunately, another thing they have in common is that most are not getting what they need to meet those goals. Across all five school systems, students were missing out on four key in-school resources: grade-appropriate assignments, strong instruction, deep engagement, and teachers who hold high expectations. 
      Students spent more than 500 hours per school year on assignments that weren’t appropriate for their grade and with instruction that didn’t ask enough of them—the equivalent of six months of wasted class time in each core subject. And middle and high school students reported that their school experiences were engaging less than half the time. Underlying those weak experiences were low expectations: While more than 80 percent of teachers supported standards for college readiness in theory, less than half had the expectation that their students could reach that bar. 
      We also found that while daily school experiences were unacceptable for most students in our sample, they were notably worse for students of color, those from low-income families, English language learners, and students with mild to moderate disabilities. For example, classrooms that served predominantly students from higher-income backgrounds spent twice as much time on grade-appropriate assignments and five times as much time with strong instruction, compared to classrooms with predominantly students from low-income backgrounds. 
      But critically, we found that students from every demographic background had roughly the same success rates on grade-level work, when they were given the opportunity to try it. More than half met the bar for grade-level standards when their assignments asked them to. Moreover, when students had greater access to the four key resources, students from all groups—and especially those who started the school year academically behind—gained months of additional learning compared to students in classrooms with less access the key resources. 
      What this data tells us, indisputably, is that students’ success in school is not dependent on their abilities, their income background, or their race or ethnicity. The key variable is actually adults’ decisions. 
      As a parent or family member, you have the opportunity to be an invaluable partner in shaping your child’s school experiences. You have the right to know what’s happening in your child’s classroom and school, and to raise questions and concerns. To advocate for improvements in students’ school experiences like those discussed in The Opportunity Myth, visit our website to download a collection of tools and resources to support productive conversations with your child’s teachers, school leaders, and district leaders.
      TNTP is a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the injustice of educational inequality. Learn more at tntp.org.
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    • Traveling with a nanny or au pair to watch your kids can be a godsend, but be sure to lay out your expectations before you leave for vacation.
      I must admit: I never thought I would travel with childcare. That was a luxury that never entered my mind until we hosted our first au pair over four years ago. One of the premises of the au pair program is the cultural exchange between the family and au pair so it was a natural fit to let her explore the USA with us. Now, having taken more trips with our au pairs over the years than I can count, I must say it is a huge relief to have an extra set of hands around while navigating the stress of travel with young children.
      This doesn’t necessarily mean you are sipping margaritas at the beach solo, and it does take preparation to be executed well. We found having our au pair with us allowed us to do special activities with each of our children, while not being confined to nap schedules as our au pair could stay with the nappers. Squeezing in a few date nights is a perk, too!
      Here are my best practices for travel with caregivers:
      Set a schedule 
      Explain your plan for the trip as well as the daily schedule while on vacation. Be specific about your caregiver’s schedule and hours expected to work. Let her know of any days off or downtime, and when that will be (and stick to it!).
      Sort out sleeping arrangements 
      Will your caregiver be sharing a room or bathroom with your children? If so, are they expected to wake up with the children in the middle of the night or morning? Will they have their own space where they can go at the end of the day? Whichever you choose, make sure they understand the rooming situation and responsibilities.
      Define responsibilities
      Discuss your expectations for childcare as well as other chores that will need to be done on vacation. Will they only be responsible for playing with and watching the children? Are they also responsible for laundry, meal preparation, clean up, driving? If they will be in charge of the children near water, find out their water safety knowledge and comfort level with children in water.
      Clarify payment 
      Define what compensation they will receive for their time. It is expected that the family pay for the travel and accommodation costs for the sitter. In addition to those expenses, what rate will the sitter receive? Is it an hourly rate while she is “on duty” or will it be a flat rate for the entire vacation?
      Communicate 
      In addition to communicating all of the above expectations before departing, it is important to continue to have open communication while on the trip. Have daily check-ins to go over the schedule for the day and rest of the week. Communicate how they can be most helpful during their hours and what you would like them to prioritize in terms of responsibilities. Most important, tell them how much you appreciate them and point out what they are doing well!
      Following these guidelines will alleviate much of the stress of traveling with children and allow you to enjoy your vacation time together. Happy travels!
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    • "Insta-curity": How posting on social media can cause anxiety in new moms
      Beth is a new mom, and she is exhausted. She hasn’t showered in several days. And even though it's well into the morning, Beth hasn’t brushed her teeth yet. Between breastfeeding on a tight schedule — as prescribed by her pediatrician — and worrying about her daughter gaining weight, Beth has had no time for herself. But today, her daughter is one-month old!
      Beth picks out the perfect outfit for her baby. She stages the perfect setting and carefully places her daughter in front of the one-month old sign. She takes several photos and chooses her favorite. She then clicks "post" and waits for her social media community to like and comment.
      [Related: 9 social media rules for first-time parents]
      As the likes and comments stream in, Beth feels a sense of validation. Maybe she's doing this motherhood thing right after all. At least her friends seem to think so by their adoring comments. But just as quickly as the validation comes, it also goes away, and panic and insecurity set in. Why hasn’t her sister-in-law liked her photo yet? Beth knows she is always on Instagram at this time. Does she think Beth is a bad mother? Does she not like the outfit that Beth picked for her daughter? Should Beth have used one of her sister-in-law’s hand-me-downs? Did Beth’s husband share that Beth is really having a difficult time?
      Beth is not alone in her social media “insta-curity.” A growing number of Facebook and Instagram users are mothers. Forty percent of millennial moms have an Instagram account dedicated just for their baby. One study, looking at new parents’ social media use, found that mothers sought external validation through social media posts, comments and likes of their child. This type of social media activity was linked to elevated parenting stress and depressive symptoms for new mothers.
      A related study, examining the connection between social media comparisons and mothers’ parenting behaviors and mental health, found that mothers who frequently compared themselves to others on social media sites felt more depressed, overwhelmed and less competent as parents. An estimated 15-20% of new mothers report experiencing mental health issues during the perinatal and postpartum period. What role does social media play in undermining the confidence and capability of a new parent? Does social media perpetuate perinatal mental health problems, or is it merely a sly accomplice?
      [Related: How unplugging made me happier parent]
      People on social media tend to portray themselves in a highly positive manner. This can be especially true for mothers who feel pressure to be perfect. For those mothers who are struggling, comparing themselves to the picture-perfect idyllic image of motherhood inevitably makes them feel like they’re falling short.
      There are other ways to participate in social media that allow moms to cut themselves some slack. Not every mom on Instagram is perfect. There is a new breed of social media moms that are fighting against the “perfect mother” and instead portraying a more authentic (and messy) version of motherhood — unwashed hair and throw-up stains included. This mom isn’t afraid to admit when she is tired or having a bad day, or that she does not have it all figured out. Additionally, many new parents identify social media as a way to maintain relationships with family and friends and also create a new community, where they connect with other mothers virtually. These connections should help them share support and normalize their personal experience—not make them feel inadequate.
      Internet aside, you can always connect with other new parents in person. Find parenting playgroups, music classes or mom-and-baby exercise classes. Try to expand your community outside of social media and the Internet. Remember, some days are harder and no amount of “likes” or “comments” is going to change that. But you’re doing great.
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    • Take the stress out of planning a Chicago kids birthday party with these four great birthday party location ideas from a Chicago mom.
      Birthday party planning can be stressful. I get it. I have nine-year-old twin boys and we’ve had our fair share of big, blowout birthday parties. For a few years, we invited all 60(!) of their classmates. Thankfully, our days of parties are over. Now we try to invite a few close friends for a special activity like mini-golf or Great America. If you’re just getting started with your planning, you’re in luck. I’m sharing my recommendations for the best parties I’ve planned, researched or attended.
      Emily Oaks Nature Center
      All year round, Emily Oaks Nature Center in Skokie will help you host an unforgettable outdoor-themed event. We hosted a summer party there a few years ago where attendees were “transformed” into mice and went on a nature walk through the woods where they hid from foxes, made a mouse house and found mouse food. Later we went back inside to make a woodland-themed craft. The indoor party room is spacious and you can bring in any food or cake you want. We got catering from Brown's Chicken because they offer really affordable options including pasta. Emily Oaks has a nice outdoor playground if you want to continue the party or entertain children waiting for a parent to pick them up.
      The choices for party themes at Emily Oaks have so much variety. They have themes built around birds, bugs, bees, coyotes—you name it! There are even nighttime options like storytelling around a campfire and roasting s’mores. Their parties are perfect for kids age 3-10. Activities are limited to 25 children but the party room can hold 70—plenty of space for parents or family members to hang out and celebrate along with the birthday kid and their friends.
      Facets Multimedia
      What kid wouldn’t want to see their name on the marquee of a movie theater? We hosted one of our favorite parties at Facets and I highly recommend it, especially for large groups. They’ll curate a custom screening of award-winning short films from their Chicago International Children's Film Festival archive. Optional add-ons include popcorn and drinks. After the screening, head upstairs to the party room where you can serve food and cake. If you’re looking for a crowd-pleasing option, Sweet Mandy B’s is less than 5 minutes away, making pre-party pickup a breeze.
      Art Side Out Studio and Mask Shop
      I recently drove by this storefront art studio and literally did a double take. I had to pull over to write it down so I could look it up later. Turns out this creative mask shop is also the perfect place to host a birthday party. Teaching artists will assist groups from 5-45 in creating unique and individual masks. Transform into a butterfly, a bear, a dragon—the sky’s the limit.
      Farther north on Western Avenue is my family’s favorite frozen custard shop, Lickity Split. They cater special events and their custard is so delicious. Need to tire out the troops after a few hours of intense art-making? Head to nearby Indian Boundary Park for a romp through the old-fashioned wooden playground (bigger and better than Oz Park) or explore the new nature play center. Then go home and take a well-deserved nap.
      Cradles to Crayons
      Have a child who is exceptionally altruistic? Eschew the traditional birthday party and have friends and family join you for a volunteer shift at Cradles to Crayons. They provide children from birth through age 12 living in homeless or low-income situations with the essential items they need to thrive—at home, at school and at play. Children as young as 5 can help sort donations in their warehouse. If you’re looking for a way to give but not ready to ditch a party completely, have guests bring toy donations for Lurie Children’s Hospital. They take gift donations all year, not just during the holidays.
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    • The top things to do with kids during the holidays in Chicago, as chosen by our members on the discussion forum.
      Many of us parents like to plan (often to have our uncooperative children thwart those plans). And with the holidays upon us, there's so much to do in the city that you'll want to mark events on your calendar. What are the best things to do with kids during the holidays? One member posed that question on our main discussion forum, and our members had great suggestions.
      Here they are, in no particular order:
      Christkindlmarket: German-style open-air holiday market in Daley Plaza. Get some gluwhein (warm mulled wine) in the back-by-popular-demand boot mugs, while the kids sip hot chocolate. CTA Holiday Train: Hop aboard a CTA train decked out with lights, music and more, and say hi to Santa, bravely riding on an open-air car even through the subway tunnels. The CTA also festoons some busses.  Wonderland Express at Chicago Botanic Garden: If your child likes trains, prepare for his or her mind to explode with joy as tiny electric trains wind through elaborate snow-covered scenes. Ice skating ribbon at Maggie Daley Park: Experience the second season of the twists and turns of Chicago's newest (and coolest) ice skating rink.  Christmas Around the World at Museum of Science and Industry: Volunteers from Chicago's ethnic communities decorate more than 50 trees to reflect their heritage and holiday traditions. Magnificent Mile Lights Parade: Mickey and Minnie lead a raucous parade down Michigan Avenue, lighting the trees along the way. The Walnut Room at Macy's State Street: A holiday tradition for more than 100 years, the Walnut Room and its 45-foot-tall Christmas tree is something to see. Don't want to pay for a meal at the restaurant? You can check out the tree from the 8th floor. ZooLights at Lincoln Park Zoo: It's free, it's gorgeous, it's a must.  Santa at the Shops at 900 N. Michigan Ave.: A "naturally bearded" Santa, sitting on a throne in front of a giant Christmas tree, will listen to all of your child's needs and wants. Each child gets a special gift. Illumination: Tree Lights at Morton Arbortetum: Beautifully lit-up trees respond to your voice and touch during a one-mile walk through 50 acres of woods.  A Christmas Carol at the Goodman Theatre: Ebenezer Scrooge has been saying "Bah humbug!" at the Goodman for more than 40 years.
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    • A Chicago dietician offers 5 strategies to help picky eaters that worked with her kids.
      When my eldest, Jack, was a toddler, I thought I had it all figured out. He was (and is) curious, easy going and eager to please. Naturally, these temperamental qualities translate to him being a good and adventurous eater.
      As a dietitian, I gave myself a big ol’ pat on the back. Surely, his good eating skills were because of me, right?
      Well—go figure—kid No. 2 had different ideas in mind. My girl, Caitlin, is sweet, observant and smart, but she’s stubborn as all get-out. Plus, she struggles with sensory processing, which can make eating a challenge.
      As an infant, she refused all purees. As a toddler, she’d have a huge meltdown at the sight of yogurt (which, coincidentally, was her big brother’s favorite breakfast food). And, now, as a kindergartner, she’ll be the first to say "no" when a new food comes her way.
      The good news: We’ve made lots of progress. While Caitlin still has her food challenges (I mean, who freaks out at the sight of chocolate?!), I’m happy to say that she now has a wide repertoire of healthy foods that she loves. But it definitely didn’t happen overnight. It’s taken a lot of focused work and dedication to get to this point. And while there are some nights when I want to throw in the towel and order delivery, the hard work has been more than worth it.
      As a dietitian, I have a leg up on closely following what all the scientific literature has to say about picky eating, as well as strategies that work. While these proven strategies are a few of our favorites, as a mom, I know that every kid is different. If you’d like more tools in your toolbox, my free ebook, 21 Picky Eating Hacks, has lots of helpful advice.
      Here are five simple strategies that have worked with my kids.
      1. Reframe your thinking. Labeling our kids doesn’t do them (or us) any good. Instead of defining your child as a "picky eater," reframe your thinking by telling yourself that your child is "still learning to like new foods." This simple shift in thinking brings more positivity and patience to mealtimes, which often results in better eating.
      2. Talk less. Encouraging a child to “take one more bite” or “clean your plate” can add pressure to mealtime, as well as position healthy food as a punishment. When kids aren’t pressured to eat, studies show that kids actually eat more food and make less negative comments about their food.
      3. Put a sticker on it. Kids, like adults, are suckers for good marketing. In one study, when an Elmo sticker was placed on an apple, the kids nearly doubled their choice of the apple. When I first tried this with my kids, they ended up literally duking it out over the apple. Oops, maybe this strategy works a little too well!
      4. Create hands-on opportunities (away from the table). New foods can be super-intimidating to kids. So, give them lots of opportunities to become familiar with a food, before it ever makes an appearance at the table. Using fruits and vegetables in art projects and science experiments, as well as reading from food-themed books can all help.
      5. Move, dance or play before a meal. Work up an appetite and get the wiggles out by engaging your child in physical activity before a meal. Research has shown that when schools have recess before lunch, the kids make healthier food choices. Bonus tip: Have a snack sampler ready, so your kiddo can nosh on fruits and veggies as an appetizer.
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    • It's not easy getting your kids to make healthy food choices. But if you do this one thing, you may be able to help create healthy habits.
      In recent years, the rise in childhood obesity and diet-related disease, like type 2 diabetes, have been hot topics of discussion. I think it is safe to say that parents want their children to be healthy, but figuring out how to help them make healthy choices may feel daunting. Particularly when simply getting your child to eat may be a battle.
      The best thing you can do? Get them involved in the food choices for the family. But start small. Pick one step below that you feel comfortable with and build from there. 
      Plan a menu. Pick some recipes that you feel comfortable making and deem healthy options. Then let your kids help you choose which meals to make that week. For younger kids, you can use pictures and tell them about the recipes.
      Make a list. Now you can create your shopping list. Older kids can help with writing the list and younger ones may be able to help you check for items you already have at home. Kids can also help you identify what staple items you may need such as cereal or favorite snacks. Make sure to read the list together so everyone knows what items you’ll be looking for at the store.
      Let them help. Let them count produce items and place them in bags. This is also a great time to teach them how to pick a ripe avocado or check an apple for bruising.
      Read labels. Teach older kids how to read nutrition labels and what things you look for when picking foods. It’s helpful to pick one item on the label to focus on such as saturated fat, sugar, or protein. Eventually, they can compare products to make the healthiest choice. It’s also a good idea to check the ingredients. Have them count the number of ingredients and read as many of them as they can. Encourage them to ask questions about the ingredients. This is a great way to start a conversation about how you evaluate the content of the food you buy.
      Be adventurous. Ask each child to pick a fruit or vegetable they’ve never had but would like to try.
      Get them in the kitchen. When it’s time to cook, find ways for kids to help prepare the meal. With just one small job kids become more involved in the process. This increases the chances they actually eat the food, even items they previously refused.
      The goal is to involve and empower kids in the decision-making process around what they are eating. If you can do this, you are more likely to get their cooperation. You will likely find that trips to the grocery store are also a little easier when kids have tasks to accomplish. Remember to start with what works for you and your family. Even a small step toward healthier eating is moving in a positive direction.
      Karla Gidwani lives in Lincoln Square and is mom to two young girls. Karla works for Chicago Primal Gym as a strength coach and studio manager.
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    • If all parents could just agree we have no idea what we're doing, there would be no reason to judge each other.
      My child was formula-fed. My child was sleep-trained. My child eats food that is not organic. The old me would give you a 20-minute explanation of how each of these things happened (although never originally part of my plan). The new me recognizes that you probably don’t give a sh*t.
      There’s been a lot of talk lately about the so-called “mommy wars.” After three-and-a-half years of motherhood and reading the endless stream of social media posts on the subject, I think I have found the root of the mommy wars. We’re so obsessed with being the best parents we can be, we question everything. We question ourselves. We even question what seems right. But we surely don’t care what you’re doing with your children unless it directly affects ours.
      [Related: Breastfeeding inequality: It's time to end the mommy wars]
      Some days are better than others. Some days you can chalk it up as a win and realize that you’d made it through the day without any major tantrums or guilt that you’ve impeded the development of your child, somehow. But most of the time, we’re desperately seeking validation because secretly we know we’re winging it.
      Virtually every aspect of our parenting is an exercise in uncontrolled experimentation. Is this restriction on screen time working? No idea. Are these five stories a day at bedtime soaking in? Beats me. Is the extra income provided by my job worth the trade-off of less time with him? Good question. Will any of this organic food make him any healthier as an adult? Ask me in 20 years…and I still won’t know. That’s the thing about raising a child—you don’t get to rewind or perform a do-over, so you never know where the path not taken leads. So we’re left to going with our gut and hoping for the best.
      And we’re terrified that everyone will see right through that, and call us out on it. Thus, we hunt for validating studies or Huffington Post op-eds that conform with our impromptu parenting choices. But as the saying goes, opinions are like rear ends (everybody has one) and you can find a study that says anything. So, inevitably, conflicting opinion or evidence will pop up on your Facebook page.
      [Related: I met my mommy match on a blind date]
      “Here it is!,” you think. “They’ve finally figured out that I’m a fraud!” No doubt, social services has already been alerted to your unfit mothering. But rather than come clean, you double down. These are not simply conflicting opinions, they are personal attacks. These are Mean People who dare to undermine you, Mother.
      Congratulations, you’ve enlisted in the mommy wars.
      Except, there is no war. There are no attacks. There are simply millions of mothers with millions of opinions, all of them with only slightly more than no idea what they’re doing.
      I’ve been guilty of it. I’ve posted the Formula Child Turns Out OK, Studies Show Working Moms Have Awesome Kids, and This Much Screen Time Is Fine stories. So, I’m sorry.
      But as of today, I’m officially a deserter in the mommy wars. Frankly, there’s no such thing—it’s a creation of our own to distract ourselves from our own insecurities. I’ll probably never get over that insecurity, but I’ll try. In the words of David Foster Wallace, “You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.”
      Well, except for the anti-vaxxers. You people are insane. 
      Read more...
    • All Illinois teachers in public and charter schools are required to use a new tool called the Kindergarten Individual Development Survey (KIDS) to observe and document students’ development.
      Kindergarten is a pivotal year for kids and families. Leading up to the big send-off, many parents feel tremendous pressure and spend countless hours worrying about where their child will go to school, if they are making the best educational choices for their family and how they will juggle a new schedule. 
      Meanwhile, kindergarten students transition from their early childhood environment—whether it’s a childcare center, preschool or at home—to a more structured approach to learning in the classroom with new classmates, a new teacher and often a new school. As families experience this educational milestone, it is critical to ensure that every child entering kindergarten is ready to learn.
      A young child’s development in language and literacy, math, social and emotional learning, and skills such as curiosity, creativity, and perseverance, are predictors of a child’s long-term success. Understanding kindergarten students’ strengths in these areas as they begin their “formal” educational journey allows teachers and families to build a strong foundation for children to learn and grow through school. 
      This year, for the first time in Illinois, all teachers in public and charter schools are required to use a new tool called the Kindergarten Individual Development Survey (KIDS) to observe and document students’ development in four domains—Approaches to Learning and Self-Regulation, Social and Emotional Development, Language and Literacy Development and Math. KIDS is based on observation, meaning teachers will collect information while students are going about their daily routines of learning and playing. (Chances are that students in the classroom won’t even notice what their teachers are doing!) 
      KIDS will provide the state and districts with consistent and comprehensive data on how well students are prepared to learn upon arriving to kindergarten. Ideally, teachers will use information from KIDS to guide conversations with parents and families about their own child’s needs to ensure instruction throughout kindergarten is developmentally appropriate for all children in the class. KIDS also will connect Illinois to a national movement to deepen understanding of children’s development at the state level. 
      Having this information will the allow state and districts to:
      Better understand how educators and communities can best collaborate across grade levels—from early childhood through elementary school; Establish stronger partnerships with schools and families to support individual children’s growth and development in-school and at-home; Inform policymakers on the most effective ways to allocate resources to best support all kids and communities across the state. Prior to KIDS, the first evaluation of student learning was typically in third grade when they are required to take a state-mandated standardized test. While test scores are a significant input into evaluating a student’s overall skills and abilities, they do not consider other areas of development, including social and emotional, that are key to lifelong success in school and the workplace. Evidence increasingly suggests that the early years may be the most important time for children to acquire proficiencies in these areas. 
      Whether you have a child approaching kindergarten or is in kindergarten, it is important to support your child’s learning and development at home. You can find a toolkit including suggested activities and resources to support family engagement in the key learning domains at   https://www.isbe.net/Pages/KIDS_Parents_Families.aspx. 
      As KIDS enters the second year of implementation, advocates and educators hope that the initiative brings more awareness, focus and resources on the importance of kindergarten readiness among communities and policymakers and deepens the commitment across the state to ensuring every Illinois child arrives at kindergarten ready to learn. 
      Here is a short informational video about KIDS; you can also learn more at www.isbe.net/KIDS.  
      Read more...
    • CPS recently organized all its high schools in easy-to-understand categories such as eligibility requirements, selection process and more.
      Many Chicago parents, myself included, start thinking about high school at the same time we're applying to preschool. This phenomenon isn’t limited to “type A” parents or “helicopter” parents or overachieving parents. We begin thinking about high school so early because our children’s access to education can influence major life decisions such as where we live, and because to new and not-so-new parents, public high schools in Chicago are something of a mystery. 
      [Related: High School Admissions 101 (members-only video)]
      What are public high schools like in Chicago? Are they all the same or does each school offer different programs? Is there an application process? Is it the same for all schools?
      These are just a few of the questions I had as a preschool parent. If you have questions like this, too, you'll love this useful resource from Chicago Public Schools that lists every public high school in the city, each school’s programs’ eligibility requirements, selection process and more. CPS organized all of this information into one document, which you can find in the Elementary and High School Guide at go.cps.edu. To go directly to the list of high school programs, eligibility and selection process, click here. CPS hasn't publicized this document, as far as I can tell, so I want to make sure other parents can find it!
      In this document, one section is organized by the type of admission screening required, such as an audition, an essay, attendance at an information session, and more. The next section lists the schools with IB programs and service leadership (formerly military) programs. The last section lists each high school and gives detailed information about program eligibility requirements and the selection process for each program at each school. Some high schools, such as Lincoln Park High School, have six different programs to which students can be admitted and this document lays out the differences in eligibility and selection for each one.
      [Related: You have more CPS high school options than you think]
      This information would have been enlightening for me to come across when my children were younger, when I wanted to know what public high school options were available. Now as a parent of a 5th grader, this information got me up to speed quickly. At this point, I am casting a wide net for my son and this document has it all. When my son is in middle school we’ll use this information to narrow down his high school search, prioritize his choices, and prepare his application.
      I still have questions about the high school search, but for now, at least, some of them have been answered.
      Check out NPN's school search tools to make your school search easier! Our School Directory compiles up-to-date stats on every school in the city. And look for upcoming NPN School Choice events such as CPS 101.
      Read more...
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