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    • Aside from the obvious (schools), what are the best and worst parts of raising a child in the Chicago suburbs rather than the city?
      You know that commercial where the guy is like, "I'm never getting married." He gets married. Then he says to his wife, "We're never having kids." And then they have kids. And then he says, "We're never moving to the suburbs." And they obviously move to the suburbs. Yeah, that was kinda me. Not so much the marriage and kids part, but I definitely thought I'd never move to the suburbs. ***Cue all the suburbanites laughing at me in unison.***
      My husband and I were the couple that loved living in the city and thought we would stay there even after we had kids. And then we actually had kids. And I realized the other day (while I was sitting in my single family home on a tree lined suburban street, without a single graffiti mark in sight) that I've officially been a suburbanite for six months. I think that qualifies me as an expert on both city and suburban living, right? Okay, maybe not, but I'm still going to talk about the pros and cons of city versus suburban living.
      Pro: The so-very-obvious SPACE. More room for your kids to play and more space for aaaallll the stuff that babies come with. When we lived in our two-bedroom condo we had to do a football-player shimmy, one-two step, roll-to-the-side maneuver to get through the front door with our mammoth stroller in the way. I don't miss that. However, more space means more money spent on furniture and more room to collect knick-knacks. Plus, your parents will now want to give you back everything they've been storing for you in their basement.
      Con: Food. This is one thing I really miss about the city. World-class dining within steps of where you live. I still haven't found a restaurant I love eating at in the suburbs. ?
      Pro: Backyard. This one is especially great when you have a dog. I always enjoyed walking my dog in the city, but after my daughter was born, what was I supposed to do when the dog is about to make a no-no on the carpet but the baby is taking a nap?
      Con: Blandness. One of the things you don't realize you'll miss until you don't have it anymore is the people, noise and vibrancy of city life. I wish that my daughter could grow up in a place where there's diversity and culture, but most suburbs don't quite have that.
      Pro: Garage parking. If you live in the city, you're lucky if you have one parking spot, but in a two-car household, it's likely that one of you is parking on the street. Garage parking means no more driving around looking for a spot, shoveling your car out of snowmageddon, and no more running in the rain to your car. But even more than that, it means no schlepping a stroller, carseat, diaper bag and groceries through two doors, an elevator and another two doors (or in some cases, two flights of stairs). If that's not #winning, I don't know what is!
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    • Simple ways you can teach your child math skills in everyday activities from Erikson Institute.
      Your preschooler can count to 50, maybe even 100. But does your child know what five means? It turns out that understanding the “fiveness” of five is far more important for a solid foundation in math than the ability to recite a string of numbers in the right order. And you can keep building this foundation all summer long.
      Since 2007, the Erikson Institute’s Early Math Collaborative has been helping teachers discover ways to improve math instruction for young children. Substitute “parents” for “teachers,” and our first “big idea” involves having your young children sort the laundry or the silverware. The big lesson to be learned from chores like these is that any collection can be sorted in more than one way. So while we sort by light versus dark before the wash, we might sort by clothing type — socks, shirts, pants — afterward. All with the same exact items.
      It’s not conventional math. It doesn’t require memorization. But it helps young children understand the concept of a category and gives them experience in creating sets. Because you can’t count apples, for instance, until you’ve figured out which are apples and which are bananas.
      When it comes to counting, it’s one thing to understand that three comes after two and before four. That’s the skill in a “count to 50” task. But what’s more meaningful is to understand that three is one more than two, and one less than four. It’s known as the cardinal meaning of a number. And it’s easier for children to learn when we couple a counting process with a total quantity.
      For example, let’s say there are five stairs leading to your porch. It’s not enough to count “one, two, three, four, five.” To help toddlers quickly pick up the meaning of the numbers, conclude with, “See? There are five stairs.” This ties the sequence to the quantity, giving your child a chance to construct a meaningful understanding of five. Taking this up another level of difficulty would be this scenario: Say the 10 townhomes on your block all look the same and all have five stairs leading to the porch. Now ask your child, if an 11th townhome were to be built, how many stairs do you think it would have? This is pattern recognition.
      What’s so powerful about it is that it enables children to anticipate what comes next. It allows for predictability in kids’ lives. And they love it. It’s why toddlers want the same song sung over and over again and love books that repeat a rhyme but add one new twist on each page. Patterns help kids feel confident and safe because they know what’s going to happen next. And in math, pattern recognition is the first step to algebraic thinking.
      Even when your child is on summer break, the day is full of simple ways that families can inject math into a meaningful activity. Just remember that it’s not just the counting that matters — it’s the patterns and the sets that the numbers create.
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    • Your goal: Take a moment for yourself at least once a week. This is how busy moms can make that happen.
      Self-care. It’s a necessity to being the best caregiver you can be to your children. But it’s a low priority for many parents who wear multiple hats to maintain a career (even as Chief Executive Mom), maintain the household, and raise healthy, happy, and well-balanced children.
      Confession: I have been there multiple times. Albeit passive-aggressively, but definitely there. I know you may be thinking, “How can I possibly fit in one more thing in an already overcommitted schedule?” But it’s not just one more thing. In the absence of self-care, fatigue, stress and resentment set in. Your mental sanity is at stake here!
      [Related: 4 ways I focus on my marriage after becoming a parent]
      Your goal: Take a moment for yourself at least once a week. If that’s too aggressive starting out, aim for twice a month. Following is my foolproof plan to being more mindful of “me time”: Plan, Share, Do.
      Plan
      The nature of our role as “mom” or “dad” does not often allow us to be spontaneous when it comes to taking time for ourselves. After you wrap up your Sunday chores and get the kids to bed, look at the week ahead and determine when you will have an hour or two to steal for yourself. You will need to be flexible with your schedule, whether it’s Friday evening or midweek — whatever is going to be your most frictionless opportunity to get out of the house and decompress. Keep a running list of the types of activities you enjoy doing. You can plan something as simple as sneaking away to Starbucks with your new issue of O Magazine or something more intense, like a 4-hour cooking class. No matter how simple or complex, be intentional about looking ahead and planning the break, so that come the following Sunday, you won’t be kicking yourself for not making any time for yourself.
      [Related: To the moms running on fumes, this is how to refill the tank]
      Share
      If you say you’re going to take a break once a week, you want someone to be holding you accountable to make sure you do it. You would think spouses/partners are the best accountability partners, but their support can wane depending on the number of chores (and number of children!) you are asking them to support while you take your break. The next best thing is a close friend. Bonus if your close friend is a parent, who can be extra empathetic to what you are trying to do. Let them know what you are trying to do, why you are trying to do it, and to check in with you midweek to make sure you are still on track for your mindful “me time.”
      Do
      This is where the rubber meets the road, where you actually have to follow through on the plans that you made. You may have to turn the other cheek to a sink full of dishes, a toddler meltdown, and an empty fridge waiting for you to grocery shopping. No matter the exhaustion and to-do list demons working against you, fight back! Take that moment for yourself. One hour away from the house is all the rejuvenation that most parents need.
      Don’t delay: Enact this plan today. Being more mindful of your “me time” is a win-win for the entire household. Put yourself first, because when you do, you will truly be the best perfectly imperfect parent you can be, and your family will thank you for it.
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    • What do you do when another kid hits your kid on the playground? Here are some tips.
      It was Father’s Day morning, so I took our 13-month-old to the park for a little father-son bonding. It was early, so I was surprised to see a few families already camped out near our favorite pieces of equipment. What I wasn’t surprised to see was one mom with a phone pressed against her ear and paying little to no attention to her young son. If you’ve read my blog, you know one of my pet peeves is parents focusing on their phones instead of their children, so the sight of this woman on her cell while this young boy kept asking if he could play with us really annoyed me. I felt bad for this little boy—who doesn’t want attention?—but I just wanted a little uninterrupted father-son time on Father’s Day.
      Well, that didn’t quite happen.
      Using a stick he picked up off the ground, my son was doing his best drum solo effort on this small rope swing when the little boy came over. Again. He took the stick from my son and after fiddling with it for a second, he turned it toward my son and hit him in the middle of his chest. Thankfully my son wasn’t hurt, although he had that why-did-you-just-do-that look on his face. Clearly, this other boy had no malicious intent, but if I (a first-time dad) see someone do something that could possibly injure my son, and especially if this person should have been supervised closer, the quiet and reserved part of me that most people know will quickly disappear.
      I can’t remember the exact words I used toward this boy after checking to see if my son was okay, but it was to the effect of, “We don’t do that. It’s not nice to hit other people.” The boy’s mom had pried her phone off of her ear long enough to hear me speaking to her son, and the gloves were off. Her defense was that she saw my son throwing wood chips before her 3-year-old hit him with the stick, so therefore my boy wasn’t innocent either.
      My response? I told her that her child was older and should know not to hit people with sticks. Beyond that—and I knew this was my chance to stick it to her—this all could have been avoided if she wasn’t so focused on her phone. “You’re an a&*%$#@,”  she told me as she grabbed her son and left.
      Thankfully I’ve avoided further conflicts with parents since this episode, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before my son or someone else’s child will do something in a public place that will put me and another parent in what Catherine Main, Senior Lecturer and Program Coordinator at the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Education, refers to as “incredibly awkward and uncomfortable” situations for parents. 
      Main offers tips that could make these situations a little easier for everyone: 
      Keep your cool. “The key to the situation is for everyone to keep level heads,” Main said. “A 3-year-old does poke others with sticks. It doesn’t mean they’re bad children. It also doesn’t mean their parents are bad people. It’s part of their developmental process. What happens if I poke this little guy with a stick?  … There’s no malice involved. They’re just experimenting. The frustrating part is probably that this parent is on the phone and not guiding her son’s exploration and experimentation.”
      Safety first. “As a general rule, I think parents should be very cautious about (disciplining other children),” said Main, who has a 22-year-old son and an 18-year-old daughter. "But always err on the side to make sure everyone is safe. You could have just picked your son up and moved him away from the situation that wasn’t safe. That would have been modeling for the other child.”
      Support other parents. “It’s really important that parents have a lot of empathy for one another—and try to be supportive of one another,” Main said. "This is not easy. There are not right and right wrong ways all the time. You also have to be able to forgive yourself, because you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. And that’s okay. Your kids will forgive you.”
      Walk the walk. Main added: “The key thing is always keeping in mind I want my child to realize that 1) I am a safe adult and always will be that safe adult and consistent and calm, and 2) remember, they’re watching you and that’s really where they learn. You can think you’re telling them something, but they learn from watching you.”
      It seems like both me and the mom I got into the confrontation with on Father’s Day have some room for improvement. Make no mistake, there will be plenty of opportunity for that.
      Matt Beardmore used to cover sports for ESPN The Magazine and the Chicago Tribune, and contribute to The New York Times Travel section and In Transit blog, but he’d much rather write about a far more important topic—being a dad.
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    • How to prevent the rampant flu virus from infecting your family, and what to do if it does.
      To keep your family healthy during the rest of the winter season, it’s important to keep our immune systems in tip-top shape. Here are some ways to keep your immune system boosted so those colds and flus don’t get you down.
      Know what works and what doesn’t
      First, understand that antibiotics are ineffective against the flu because influenza is a virus. Medications that are not effective against the flu can cause more harm than good, especially to our gut health. What do you do if you or your child is home sick with the flu?
      Tried-and-true remedies
      The most effective ways to treat the flu include rest and consuming fluids. Taking out sugar and dairy can be helpful as sugar suppresses immunity up to six hours after ingesting. This makes our immune system work harder, thus taking longer to rid the cold and flu. This is just a short phase, but definitely helpful to speed up the process. Using humidifiers to add moisture into the air and diffusing essential oils both will help ease congestion by opening up the airways.
      Draw a bath
      Soak in an Epsom salt bath before you reach for an expensive over-the-counter drug. This naturally-occurring mineral will ease muscle aches, improve circulation and reduce the length of symptoms as well as help you get a good night’s rest, so you can recover faster. Some doctors say it helps spur the cellular rejuvenation process called vasodilation, which can in turn speed healing by detoxifying your body, combating the illness faster. Children under 60 lbs can soak in a bath of ½ cup of salts; over 60 lb can add another ½ cup. Adding 5-10 drops of lavender to the salt bath also has a calming effect: it can help ease body aches, enhance blood circulation, promote relaxation and ease upper respiratory distress.
      Go (coco)nuts
      Another natural way to fend off the flu and stay healthy this winter is to drink raw coconut water. Coconut water help builds your immune system and makes it stronger by cleaning your body of bacteria. It’s also anti-fungal and anti-viral, and is a great source of electrolytes needed to replenish the body. Plus, it’s cheaper and healthier to buy raw coconut water than Pedialyte.
      Take prevention measures
      Be courteous of others and help curb the spread of flu. Wash hands often, using the proper technique (wet, lather, scrub, rinse, dry). Anti-bacterial soaps and gels just don’t cut it and, in fact, the FDA says: “they do little or nothing to make soap work any better,” and the industry has failed to prove they’re safe.
      Eat foods high in vitamin C
      They help the body produce collagen, which promotes the body’s natural healing process. Foods with the highest vitamin C levels? Camu camu berries, kiwis, red/green peppers, and guavas.
      Take vitamin D
      Some studies show that a deficiency increases your risk for colds and flus. As Chicago sees the full sun about 84 days out of the year, we need some extra vitamin D. My pediatrician recommends 2000 iu/ day for children.
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    • Keeping my daughter at home, and away from germs, keeps her healthy.
      I recently turned down an invitation for my two-year-old daughter and I to join a fun outing, and the hostess was mad. "Aren't you ever going to let her have any fun?" she said. "How is she supposed to learn social skills?"

      Yeah, we miss out on a lot of fun things. Yes, I doubt myself and fear I am overreacting. But before you judge me for keeping my child in a bubble, step into my shoes for a moment.

      It's Respiratory Syncytial Virus season. RSV infects the lungs and breathing passages cna can lead to pneumonia. My immune-compromised child has already spent enough time in the hospital. Between two heart surgeries, a GI surgery, nine months in the NICU and countless ER visits, we are all pretty over it.
       
      Seeing her NICU clinic doctors, ENT, GI, pediatric surgeon, pulmonary hypertension team, cardiologist, optometrist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, speech therapist, intensive feeding team and developmental therapist seems like enough, thank you.

      We really do have to worry about RSV and respiratory illness to the point that we are basically prisoners inside. As any parent to a special-needs child knows, from October to spring we are ordered to limit her exposure to germs as much as possible. We don't do play dates, indoor playgrounds or birthday parties during those months because your kid's sniffle would land us in an ICU with a machine breathing for her so fast it's terrifying.

      Here is the thing: She could DIE. Her body is fragile and weak and it can't fight like yours.

      We do have fun, but it looks different than the fun you're having. We have a plastic slide in our living room and have even considered installing a swing to the ceiling. We have an endless collection of books and have countless dance parties. We often take all the blankets and pillows in the house to create a giant crash pit, and I even let her jump from the sofa into the big soft pile. We do a lot of splashing in the bathtub and creating art out of shaving cream. We decorate one another with stickers and sometimes even markers, because we don't have anywhere to go.

      We order lots of take-out and have become good friends with our UPS driver. Our groceries come in a giant truck and deliver lots of boxes to play in and on, which, from a toddler perspective, is pretty exciting.

      We get to spend a lot of time bonding and relaxing. We have plenty of time to just snuggle and be together. Life feels perfectly slow, not rushed or overscheduled.

      In the summer we will quicken our pace and head back to the park to see our friends. But for now, we are thankful for a reason to slow down and treasure our time with one another.
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    • Potty training your toddler? Keep a potty seat and your sense of humor on you at all times.
      Oh, potty training. It’s something you look forward to (hello, end of diapers!) but in reality it is like you are going to war. And the worst part? You are under the command of a temperamental toddler who couldn’t care less about your expensive furniture or about taking a break from playing to sit on a cold, hard toilet. But here’s the thing: You will get through it. How? By being flexible, investing in some great carpet cleaners (and a bottle of wine if need be) and maintaining a sense of humor.
      I have two little boys, one who is totally and completely toilet trained and one who is still learning. As for me, I am continuously learning and what I have discovered most about the potty-training process is that I just need to let go because the process is different for everyone.
      [Related: Best Chicago playgrounds for the potty-training toddler]
      Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way that I hope can help you, too:
      1. Let your child take the lead. Let’s face it, we all know that our children aren’t going to do something unless it interests them. So if they are continuously fighting you about sitting on the toilet or putting on underwear, listen to them. You can always try again next month. They will not be in diapers when they go off to college, I promise.
      2. Make it a fun experience. We are book lovers, so we have turned bathroom time into book time. Keep great books nearby so you can read while waiting for some potty magic.
      3. Track progress. Sticker charts can work very well to keep a child motivated and see progress. At certain increments, we take a visit to a favorite places to celebrate, such as a train restaurant or roller skating rink.
      4. Pump up the positives and downplay the negatives. Your child will have accidents. It isn’t the biggest deal in the world. Simply clean up and remind him or her to use the potty when “that feeling” comes. And when the waste makes it into the potty? Throw the biggest celebration that you can. Positive reinforcement outshines negative reinforcement any day of the week.
      [Related: Potty Training for All Abilities (members-only video)]
      5. Stop comparing. Is there a mom on social media boasting that her 18 month old is perfectly toilet trained? Good for her. Are you like me and having a much more difficult time toilet training one child versus the other? Parenting and comparing are a dangerous mix. Don’t give in.
      6. Be prepared. Once your child is using the potty more frequently than a diaper, don’t expect it to be a cake walk. They will “have to go” when you are stuck in traffic and will occasionally refuse to go when not in the comfort of their own home. So be sure to always pack extra clothes, supplies and a potty seat wherever you go. Trust me.
      7. Relax.
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    • Fresh, fun activities to burn excess energy and get away from the television.
      Chicago’s winter months can be long and exhausting. The lack of sunlight, bitter cold and the feeling of being cooped up indoors can be challenging for any family–especially for ones dealing with spirited children.
      Coming up with fresh, fun activities to burn excess energy and get away from the television may seem like a chore, so here are some ideas to help:
      [Related: Make winter in Chicago your favorite season with these outdoor activities]
      1. Indoor play spaces
      Indoor play areas can be great opportunities to allow your child to socialize with other kids and maybe even give you a bit of a break (or some adult conversation). Kids can run around, jump and just have fun, giving them a chance to spend some time keeping healthy and burning energy.
      2. Sledding
      If the snow is right, Chicago-area parks have some great sledding hills. It will provide your family a chance to play in the snow and catch some downhill speed.
      3. Museums
      Chicago is known for its incredible museums. From small niche-based museums to the larger, world-class locales, there is something for children at all of them. If you have fun and think you’ll go often, many museums allow you to purchase a membership after your visit and reimburse that day's admittance (and also grant you FREE parking)!
      4. Swimming
      Check you and your child into an indoor pool. Swimming is often so linked to summer that a dip in the pool is a great way to forget the cold. Chicago Park Districts and many gyms have pools that you can access during the winter months.
      5. Shopping malls and movies
      Your child may hate shopping, but she probably doesn't hate the play areas at malls. Most Chicago malls have fun activities for kids, from carousels to basic play spaces. Many are also located near movie theaters for a family-friendly film as a special treat.
      Some days the cold and snow just won’t let you leave, so here are suggestions to do at home:
      6. Indoor Olympics
      Set up some friendly competition during a play date with safe, easy challenges. Increase the fun and spirit with special awards or medals for winning. You can even integrate some activities where parents compete with the children.
      [Related: How to keep your kids active inside]
      7. Blanket fort building
      Children 2–14 love blanket fort building. While you can purchase a building set, you can still setup chairs between walls, sofas or other obstacles to build your fort. Don’t forget the tasty snacks and flashlights!
      8. Obstacle course
      Children love a challenge. Set up an obstacle course around your house and see if your children can complete the task. Allow your child to add new challenges or setup a time trial. This can be especially beneficial for children in OT.
      9. Board games
      Not all board games are equal. Everyone has their favorite and their own set of rules. Add a few fun twists to your normal game for more interesting outcomes or opportunities. You can even add some physical challenges to your board game to make it more interactive.
      10. Snowball fight
      This may sound messy, but make it indoor-friendly with loofas and music—freeze when the music stops and resume when it continues. Count your hits or just have fun. Add some strategy to it with a capture the flag between blanket forts or pillow shields.
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    • Using these tools (and many deep breaths), you can raise a child with a difficult co-parent with less stress and tension.
      Raising children with another person can be unbelievably stressful. Despite our best efforts to be sensitive to another person’s parenting style or preferred method of discipline, aligning one’s values with the other parent when both parents have strong opinions of the “right” or “wrong” way to rear children can be tricky. 
      While parties who don’t have children together can effectively sever ties (absent a financial obligation to the other party), this is an impossibility for parents. What was once a “bundle of joy” may now be a ball of stress, especially if decisions cannot be made for the best interest of their child.
      In Illinois, parents are presumed to be fit to co-parent absent the existence of an impediment to this presumption. I have many clients who complain that their former partner is “impossible” to co-parent with, that co-parenting with a difficult partner seems like an oxymoron, and that seeking sole decision making on behalf of the child or children is the only option.
      Is all lost in the face of a difficult parent? If conflict has abounded during the period of separation or thereafter, is sole decision-making the only option? I do not believe so. In fact, through a plethora of tools and approaches, co-parenting with the difficult parent can happen. It is not without tension and the need for taking (many) deep breaths, but it is feasible with the help of a few tools.
      1. Centralize. While texting is quick and efficient, tone often gets lost over text. How many times have we interpreted a perfectly benign comment as an insult? Texting between separated parents, though perhaps necessary in the event of an emergency, begs for conflict.
      Luckily, a number of online tools are available for separated parents where communication can be centralized and monitored. I encourage parents to use websites like OurFamilyWizard.com and Talkingparents.com, where messages are stored and it is possible to see if a parent has viewed a message and when. On top of this, OurFamilyWizard.com can analyze messages before they are sent to identify inflammatory language and suggest alternative words that will diffuse a message.
      2. Organize. In addition to using centralized communication portals, where parents can share a calendar and even upload receipts for reimbursement of expenses, parents can avoid conflict by being organized in what they communicate with one another. When sending an email, stick to one topic per thread to ensure matters are addressed separately. While it may seem cumbersome to break down subjects into several emails each, there is less of a risk of misinterpretation or finger pointing when decisions need to be made.
      3. Diffuse. Parenting coordinators are professionals who assist parents with resolving disputes without the need to go to court, unless a party disagrees with the parenting coordinator’s suggested resolution and needs a judge to weigh in. Considered a “mediator with teeth,” parenting coordinators are governed by circuit court rules and appointed by court order that includes very specific terms regarding the types of decisions he or she will make for the parties. In addition to immediate resolution of conflict when a decision has to be made (versus litigation, which can take months to resolve with the courts’ full calendars), the cost savings can be significant.
      Whether parents to toddlers or teens, separated parties can raise children together in a less conflict-ridden manner than one might think, provided there is a commitment to working through differences and taking advantage of the tools out there to do so. 
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    • Chicago mom Lori Orlinsky explains how she helped her daughter realize being small has its advantages.
      I’ve always told my daughter Hayley that she was smart and beautiful, and I felt that I adequately prepared her for school with a healthy but not over-the-top sense of self-confidence. That all changed one day in preschool when the teachers participated in an innocent activity that had major consequences for Hayley. 
      During a classroom redecoration, they hung a growth chart on the wall and placed a piece of tape next to the measurements to show the height of each child. While her friends landed at the top and middle of the chart, Hayley’s name was at the very bottom, with no other names in sight.
      “I’m the worst because I’m at the bottom,” she told me. “Everyone is taller and better than me.”
      Being 5’1″ on a very good day (with heels and volumized hair), I related to her predicament. Growing up, I was always the shortest kid in class, but it never seemed to bother me the way it did her.
      “I don’t like being called a munchkin,” Hayley said.
      I scoured through books, movies and television shows to point to a short character who Hayley could relate to that was a heroine. Much to my surprise, not only couldn’t I find one, but I found tons of characters who had special abilities precisely because they were tall.
      At the end of the day, I thought the best way to tackle this situation was head-on—validate her feelings and give her a lesson on acceptance.
      “Worry about being the best Hayley,” I frequently told her.
      While I certainly didn’t want to give her false confidence, my philosophy was simple: teach her to stop comparing herself to other children—physically, socially and academically, and focus on herself and what made her special.
      For example, she was the last one to get wet when it rains, and she can fit on our tiniest couch!
      I’ll be honest—changing her mindset was no easy feat, but over time, it got easier because I modeled that behavior. Hayley takes cues from me. She watches me get ready every morning, and I know there have been times I’ve told her I needed to wear my high heels because I had an important meeting to attend. While I have never believed that height equates to self-confidence, here I was, basically telling my daughter to stock a closet full of pumps because that is how I was conditioned to think. Now, at 35 years old, I am retraining my brain to put the notion of short and tall on a level playing field.
      Now, at age 6, Hayley fully embraces being the shortest one in her kindergarten class. I took her to the school playground a few weeks ago, and it all came full circle for me when she proudly showed me how she could squeeze into the coolest hide-and-seek spots—all because she was small! 
      Do you have a young daughter or son who is what society deems too short? Talk to them about how to accept themselves, point out their advantages and celebrate their differences. While Hayley measures about three inches below the growth curve for a child her age, I know that she does not fall short on confidence.
      Lori Orlinsky is a children’s book author, a regular contributor to Chicago Parent and marketing director who lives in Chicago. She is the mother of two little ladies. Her book, Being Small (Isn’t So Bad After All), is available to order now.
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    • How to help city kids sleep better
      It’s back-to-school time, and everyone is trying to get back on a schedule after summer vacation. Getting back on track can be a little more difficult in the city than in a rural or vacation setting. There are simply more sleep-disturbing distractions. But no matter where you live, your child needs adequate sleep to keep up with the social, emotional, and academic demands of their education-centered lives.
       
      Good sleep starts in a healthy sleep environment. The conditions in your child’s room make a difference in her ability to fall and stay asleep. This is one area where the location of your home — urban or rural — makes the biggest difference. The sleep environment needs to be dark and quiet because both mind and body have to fully relax to fall asleep.
       
      Urban areas may have more light pollution, traffic, and street noise, all of which can interfere with sleep. Light, whether it comes from the sun or from an artificial source, helps establish your child’s circadian rhythms. Circadian rhythms are 24-hour cycles that control, amongst other things, your child’s sleep-wake cycle. If light from a streetlamp streams through your child’s window at night, it can cause wakefulness or even disrupt the release of sleep hormones. Sounds that can be heard through the windows have a similar effect.
       
      Blackout curtains or heavy drapes block out light and absorb some sound. You can also try using a white noise machine or app to drown out street noise.
       
      The next step is to make comfort a priority. Scratchy tags and seams that an adult would never notice can be a deal breaker for a child. Check the mattress for tags, lumps, or sags. There are many high-quality mattresses on the market for less than $1000 that can eliminate this kind of discomfort.
       
      When it’s warm out, sheets with natural fibers like cotton and linen breathe better and can keep your child from overheating. As temperatures start to drop, flannel and jersey sheets offer more warmth. You’ll also want to turn the thermostat down to a cool 60 to 68 degrees to support the drop in body temperature necessary for the onset of sleep.
       
      One of the most important things you can do is to establish a consistent sleep schedule. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps your child’s brain know when to start the release of sleep hormones. When your child is trying to get back into the school groove, a consistent bedtime can make sure he’s getting the rest he needs. You can prevent Monday sleep debt by sticking to the bedtime on weekends, too.
      FInally, for the child who has trouble settling down at night, develop a calming bedtime routine. Like a consistent sleep schedule, bedtime routines help the brain recognize when to start release of sleep hormones. A routine also gives your child some time to calm down and relieve stress that may be lingering from the school day. It’s also an opportunity for the two of you to share some quiet moments together.
      Reading a book, listening to quiet music, or taking a warm bath can all be part of a healthy bedtime routine. Try to perform each activity in the same order and start to the routine at the same time each night.
       
      While rural living may be quieter and a little less bright, you can get the same deep restful sleep back here in the city. Give you and your child some time to adjust to the new schedule and before you know it, you’ll both be resting easy.
       
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    • The fact that your child can lie shows maturity. It's the reason behind the lying that you should focus your attention on.
      “Rachel did it,” I insisted, at three years old, when my parents asked why there was blue ink on our ecru walls and white couch. I was informing them that my sister, their devious daughter, was to blame. After a booming count to three (my father’s timeframe to “come clean”), I was punished for vandalism—and lying.
      As a child psychologist, I ask parents to list the concerns they have about their child. Although they may report behaviors such as yelling, hitting, or throwing tantrums, they often end with, “…but what bothers us the most is the lying.” 
      Although parents may view their child’s lying as a personal affront, psychologists take a different perspective on the matter. In fact, there are two key reasons why I love lying.
      Reason #1: Lying is normal
      Lying is a normal stage in development and a sign of cognitive growth. Research shows us that, even by age two, children start to lie to their parents. The onset of lying coincides with—and likely requires—the development of (a) perspective-taking skills, or putting oneself in another’s shoes, what psychologists refer to as “Theory of Mind,” and (b) executive functioning skills, such as impulse control, flexible thinking, and the ability to hold information in mind when working through problems (working memory). Neurobiologically, all of these skills develop as the front part of the brain, called the prefrontal cortex, matures.
      Although my three-year-old brain was developed enough to know that lying was a good way to avoid punishment, I didn’t understand that blaming my six-week-old sister, who couldn’t hold a crayon, was essentially self-incrimination. I lied, but I was bad at it. Just as children learn to crawl before they learn to walk, their lying becomes more sophisticated over time. As you might guess, children become better liars as their perspective-taking, executive functioning, and prefrontal cortex develop further.
      Reason #2: Lying is a clue for parents
      Lying serves a purpose for the child, that is, to solve a problem. For example, when children have a problem (e.g., “I did something that will get me punished”), lying is one strategy to solve it (e.g., “If I lie, I won’t get punished”).
      Whether a child kicks, screams, cries, or lies, these behaviors have functions, and when parents tell me that their child lied to them, my goal is to identify the function of the lying. When we can understand the function of a child’s behavior, we can identify the problem that the child was trying to solve and, ultimately, teach the child more appropriate ways to solve problems (e.g., by telling the truth).
      What can parents do when their child lies?
      Despite my love of lying, it’s not a behavior we want to perpetuate and not one that parents want to reinforce. Therefore, to conclude, here are three tips for parents for when your child’s pants are on fire:
      1. Along the lines of reason #2 above, reserve judgment about the lying, investigate the function of the behavior, identify the problem that your child was trying to solve, and teach your child more appropriate ways to solve problems. Collaborative and Proactive Solutions, an approach developed by Ross Greene, Ph.D., is an effective technique for parents to address their children’s challenging behaviors, including lying (see livesinthebalance.org). 
      2. Ask your child to promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Recent research shows that, when children promise to tell the truth, they are more likely to do so, even after committing a transgression.
      3. Take a realistic, nuanced approach when talking with your child about lying. Not all lying is socially unacceptable. How many times have your parents said, “When you open Aunt Goldie’s present, be nice. Smile and tell her how much you like it.” Lying can be acceptable depending on the context. Learning to distinguish appropriate from inappropriate lying can be challenging for children.
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    • Ideas on what to give mothers and where to take them in Chicago on Mother's Day.
      Moms are incredibly resilient and inspiring. We play instrumental roles in shaping the lives of our children. The communities we live in rely on us and our dedication. Our households function under the faith that we’ll always be there to maintain order (or at least the perception of order!). It’s no question that we are the backbones of our families.
      These are just some of the many reasons why there is a national holiday for us! Every generation of moms inspires the next, just like the moms in my family have inspired me.
      On Mother’s Day, kids across the world draw images of flowers on a card or give a pot of dirt with budding seeds in it as a gift to their mother. Of course, she deserves more than what is given to her, but it is cute nonetheless. As we grow up, most of us begin to learn that mothers can’t truly be gifted what they are actually worth to their children and families. But the gesture is still as priceless as the memories they leave behind.
      If the mother in your life enjoys priceless gifts, here are some special ways to honor her in our city.
      Connect with the other great mother, Mother Nature:
      Chicago Botanic Garden -  Celebrate spring in one of the most beautiful places for the best Mother’s Day selfies! Lake Michigan for a bike ride, or a stroll and or a picnic for the queen of the house Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum for some meaningful connection to nature Garfield Park Conservatory - This final day of its spring event is sure to celebrate mom. Lincoln Park Zoo - Watch momma animals with their mini-mes. Picnic - Indoor or outdoor bliss while the insects have not yet become a nuisance DIY ideas:
      Make a surprise brunch - Less hectic, cheaper than an outing and more fun for everyone  Create an at-home spa day to bring laughter and somewhat of a comfort to the woman who rarely gets a moment to herself Mom’s personal helper for the entire day - Let mom relax and not lift a finger! Create a special gift for soon-to-be-moms - The anticipation of becoming a mother is such an exciting time for many women. Perhaps something with cultural or spiritual meaning she can one day share with her child. Offer care and support to women who have experienced the loss of a child. No matter what you and your loved ones decide to do on this day that honors our most cherished caregiver, remember to tell her how special she is to you. Verbalizing your appreciation for her role in your life is the most meaningful gift of all!
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    • These are the top 3 things to do in Chicago neighborhood Lincoln Park with kids from Kathleen Dragan, author of Rickshaw Reggie.
      There are lots of families who already call Lincoln Park home, but many more who haven’t yet explored all it has to offer! Summer is a great time to take advantage of the parks, the markets and the free activities hosted in Lincoln Park. In keeping with our theme of three things—one inside, one outside, one that involves food—these are the top things to do in Lincoln Park.
      Inside
      Where can you see the first “L” car, learn about the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 and turn yourself into a larger-than-life Chicago hot dog? The Chicago History Museum, of course! Admission for kids (under 12) is free, adults who are Illinois residents enter free on Tuesdays from 12:30–7:30 pm.
      Insider tip: Pick up a membership to the Chicago History Museum or one of its affiliates and get free entry to all of those museums: DuSable Museum, National Museum of Mexican Art and National Museum of Puerto Rican Arts and Culture. All are well worth the investment, and since they’re a bit off the tourist circuit, you likely won’t have to battle the crowds and lines to enjoy their exhibits.
      Outside
      From the south end of Lincoln Park all the way up to the Lincoln Park Conservatory, you can enjoy miles of beautiful paths through the park. Stop by the Lincoln Park Zoo—one of the only free zoos left in the United States! My kids have been especially charmed by Seiku the polar bear, one of the zoo's newest additions. Ask a zookeeper about his training times and you could get an up-close-and-personal encounter with this powerful animal!
      It seems there’s always something going on around this stretch of Lincoln Park: soccer games, festivals, impromptu concerts—you name it. We love checking out Green City Market on Wednesday mornings, where you’ll never run out of delicious food options to try. Come say hi to me on Wednesday, August 30, at 10:30am—I’ll be reading to kids at the Club Sprout tent!
      Food
      We all know Chicago has as many opinions for pizza as there are restaurants in which to eat it. And I love them all. If pressed, however, I’d tell you that my favorite is right here in Lincoln Park: Pequod’s Pizza. That caramelized cheese crust makes my mouth water just thinking about it! Plus, if you go on a weekday for lunch, you can get a 7” pizza plus a drink for $4.95!
      Lincoln Park has a gem around every corner and it’s easy to fill a whole day just wandering past the parks, the shops and the turrets, those beautiful, rounded towers on corner buildings fashioned after German castles. Bring your imagination (and your appetite) and have a great time!
      Kathleen Dragan is a South Looper and a mom of two Chicagoans. You can read more about Lincoln Park and many other neighborhoods in Kathleen's children's book Rickshaw Reggie, available now! Follow her on Instagram @RickshawReggie to see more of her Chicago adventures.
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    • This Chicago mom has become a master of spicing up store-bought food.
      I don't cook, and I am totally envious when I see mom friends post incredible dishes they make for their kids on social media. As a result, I make impulsive purchases to acquire cooking tools that gather dust in my cabinets.
      Like some mamas, I am just not interested in cooking. I enjoy it when it is an activity, an experiment, but not a task. 
      Most of the people in my generation growing up in Asia have a live-in nanny or take-out is merely a block away. Also eating out is a social thing with friends and families. And traditionally, Asian parents didn't encourage their children to learn how to cook, because in their mind it is "wasting time,"—kids should focus on studying and school. Especially for boys, messing around in the kitchen was definitely a no when I was growing up. (Clearly that's an old notion—nowadays, cooking is the enhanced value proposition for men because sexier men cook.)
      Now I am a mother of a picky toddler and an infant migrating to solid food. Even though I don't cook, my kids still need to eat! This is how I do it:
      Watch and collect ideas from cooking YouTube channel Tasty: I enjoy watching and collecting these nicely done cooking videos for future inspiration. The video editing technique they use makes everything looks so easy! I have a "cooking idea folder" where I collect video clips from Tasty Japan and Emmy Made in Japan. What makes them different is that besides being exotic and yummy, it's all about presentation—they make food too adorable to eat. And I can't resist buying all those cooking gears and molds—once a while, my kids get to eat one, or two, or three Panda rice balls. Order mobile food: I order from a wide array of restaurants with a single tap on my phone. I actually prefer "new delivery" (e.g., Foodora) vs. the traditional "aggregators" (e.g., GrubHub) just because the delivery service and timing is much more predictable when you have hungry kids at home. The essential difference is "new delivery" has its own logistics for delivery from gourmet restaurants and "aggregators" pass the order to the restaurant to fulfill. Make sushi: We are not talking about rainbow rolls or caterpillar rolls here. Avocado and salmon rolls are easy, healthy and achievable at home. Simply buy a sushi making kit, get some fresh avocado and sushi-grade salmon and follow a YouTube video. 
        Buy great kids' party food: Call me bold, but even thought I don't cook, I am brave enough to throw in a kids' birthday party with 60+ guests. I've tried out a variety of things from different places, and the winners are the ones that are easy to bake, steam, heat up or put together. Just to name a few from my shopping list that are super popular among little kiddos: H Mart: Crab or shrimp shumai, chicken teriyaki bao, mini seafood dumplings, Ramule (kids soft drink with a crystal ball inside of the funky bottle). And it looks like H Mart is going to add a West Loop location this summer, making my party-shopping route more streamlined. Costco: Beef bibimbap (Korean beef rice), party-size quinoa, crispy vegetable spring rolls Trader Joe's: Corn dog, veggie pizza bites, shrimp toast, macaroons (in the box)
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    • This mom of a spirited toddler explains how she handles his public meltdowns and temper tantrums in an empathetic way.
      We call them “slow motion meltdowns” in our house. I am a mom of a 20-month-old spirited boy. He wants what he wants, when he wants it. Don’t we all? My son knows how much it hurts to throw himself on the ground when I can’t catch him. So instead, he has perfected a slow-motion fall backward that ends with him crying, looking up at the sky.
      When talking to other moms, including my own, the common advice seems to be: “Just leave him there, and he will come around when he’s ready.” This didn’t feel right to me, and it didn’t seem to work for my son. I have been a mental health counselor for more than 10 years, and it was my time to practice what I preach: Get on the same level, listen, empathize, and give choices. Below are four techniques that have really helped me deal with my son’s tantrums.
      1. Enjoy the view. My son’s worst meltdowns usually happen in a public place. One of these took place at the park on an unusually beautiful day. The sky was bright and the clouds were intensely white. I remember this vividly because, on that particular day, I decided to lay down right next to him. It was quite relaxing, and we both started talking about things we could see. Before I knew it, my stress was relieved, and he was back to a joyful mood. Getting on their level might look funny at times, but it works in taming those tantrums.
      2. There is a good use for a newspaper. From early on, my little guy would get really upset when I couldn’t figure out what he wanted. I would grab a newspaper, start a tear at the top, and let him shred the rest. Even though he was upset at first, he resolved whatever was frustrating him fairly quickly using this coping skill. If you work in an office like I do, one of my favorite things is shredding paper. It’s satisfying, so why wouldn’t it work for our little ones?
      3. Go outside no matter what. I think children get cabin fever like the rest of us, and they don’t know how to say what’s wrong. But we have learned that by taking him outside – even if just on the front porch – bundled up or otherwise, it really helps him reset his mood.
      4. Ask if they want a hug. My son’s mini meltdowns could happen for any reason: I chose the wrong shirt; he got cookies instead of veggie straws; or Peppa Pig was on when he wanted Bubble Guppies. When they do happen, I ask if he wants a hug and reach my arms toward him, but I do not touch him. Then I wait a minute or two, and try again using the same approach. I continue to do this until he reaches his arms toward me. It’s important that I exercise patience and wait for him to accept – which usually takes two or three minutes before he is reaching toward me, wanting a hug.
      Despite its challenges, I love this stressful, fun, playful age. I hope these techniques will help bring you a little more joy through the meltdown phase. They do say it’s a phase, right?
      Related posts:
      5 must-haves at your baby's first birthday
      Mine, mine, mine! How to mediate playspace tiffs
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    • Meet a Chicago family that's dedicated to helping kids with congenital heart defects.
      Heather and Mike Shaffer, pictured above, found out early in their pregnancy that one of their twin boys, Tyler, had a congenital heart defect. They knew he would be faced with several open-heart surgeries, and his survival wasn't guaranteed. But what they didn't know was how Tyler's fight would change their lives.   The brave little boy in the photo above and below, showing off his last open-heart surgery scar, inspired them to help more kids like Tyler get the treatment they need—and to help fund research to prevent congenital heart defects like his. As co-chairs of the Red Tie Ball, the annual fundraising gala for the Children's Heart Foundation, Heather and Mike are creating better futures for kids and families in Chicago and beyond.   Read on for more of their story and how you can help.   What's your personal connection to this cause? My husband, Mike, and I got involved with The Children's Heart Foundation after the birth of our twin boys in February 2010. One of our boys, Tyler, was born with a severe congenital heart defect that required three open heart surgeries before his fourth birthday. Quite simply, if it weren't for advancements in congenital heart defect research, Tyler would not be alive today. Based on the care he's received and the exposure our family has had to amazing doctors and nurses, we wanted to give back and do what we could to advance the importance of funding research for congenital heart defect research. The Children's Heart Foundation is the only organization dedicated solely to funding congenital heart defect research.
        Why is this charity so important for Chicago kids?
      It's not widely known, but congenital heart defects are America's, and every country's, No. 1 birth defect, and the leading cause of infant deaths in the United States. The mission of The Children's Heart Foundation is to bring health, hope and happiness to children and families impacted by a CHD by funding research to advance the diagnosis, treatment and prevention of congenital heart defects. CHF was founded and is headquartered in the Chicagoland area and supports doctors and researchers at Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago, Advocate Children's Hospital and many other institutions. CHF has funded more than $7.3 million in vital, life-saving CHD research since its inception. Chicago is home to some of the finest children's hospitals in the country, and we want it to continue to lead the way with groundbreaking pediatric heart care research.
        How has being involved in this charity affected you as a parent? Tyler will have limitations and require medical care for his entire life. By being involved with CHF, it allows us, as parents, to feel like we're a little more actively involved in his care. It takes years for advancements in medical technology, but we've got to start somewhere! It feels truly rewarding to know we are playing a part in funding research that one day could save Tyler's life, or the life of one of the thousands of other children affected with a CHD.   How can people get involved?    On December 5, the Illinois chapter is hosting the 2nd annual Red Tie Ball honoring leaders in Pediatric Heart Care at the University Club of Chicago. You can purchase tickets or donate by visiting the event page.  
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    • Hyde Park is more than just the Museum of Science of Industry. Spend the day exploring Hyde Park with your family this weekend!
      As a child growing up in Chicago, I only thought of Hyde Park as where the Museum of Science and Industry lived. I'd go there on family trips or field trips, once or twice a year, always making sure to pay a visit to the baby chicks. On one memorable visit, my 8th-grade class ran into Davy Jones inside the Hall of Nobel Prize Winners. 
      But for all the times I traveled to Hyde Park, I never truly visited the neighborhood. As an adult with children of my own, I've made a point to get out and really explore our city. I often craft whole itineraries based on their geographic proximity to one or two key places. I'll pull up a map on my computer and my kids will peer over my shoulder shouting out requests (usually asking me to find the nearest ice cream place) and we'll embark on our trip, sometimes pulling over if something new catches our eye.
      Here are some of our tried-and-true favorites in Hyde Park. 
      Smart Museum of Art: An intimate but robust museum, the Smart hosts monthly family drop-in activities that are perfect for slow winter days. Not only are they free, they’re very high-quality projects. On February 3, it'll be celebrating everything blue with a Family Day inspired by the artist Yves Klein. There's even a cafe in the lobby for the caffeine jolt you’ll need after all that exhausting art-making.
      57th Street Books: We almost never come down to Hyde Park without a visit to this iconic bookstore. The labyrinth of connected rooms and low ceilings make the whole place feel like it sprang from an author's imagination. Their selection of children's books is nicely curated and it can special order anything that's out of stock.
      Salonica Restaurant: Whether we are in the mood for standard breakfast fare like scrambled eggs and pancakes or Greek diner staples like gyros and moussaka, Salonica always has us covered. Their children's menu is a great value and service is excellent. Expect a wait on weekends.
      Nichols Park: My kids are always up for a trip to a playground in any kind of weather. Even in the middle of winter, we keep our eyes peeled for new or special parks. Nichols Park playground was renovated in 2016 and is a great place to blow off steam when the weather is above freezing (and even sometimes when it's not).
      Ice skating at Midway Plaisance: Rent skates or bring your own; this rink operated by the Chicago Park District is on the beautiful stretch of land that once hosted amusements for the World's Columbian Exposition including the original Ferris wheel. With the gothic architecture of the University of Chicago as a backdrop, this is one of my favorite vistas. Especially at dusk when the lights from the University buildings are twinkling. 
      The Bakery at Piccolo Mondo: "Can we get hot chocolate?" I hear this one a lot and you probably do, too. My kids always want something “fancier” than your typical Starbucks treat. This Argentinian bakery has one of the coolest versions I've seen: It's called the "Submarino" and you get a glass of steamed milk served with a dark chocolate bar for a DIY hot chocolate that you mix yourself. Needless to say, this one's a big hit. 
      Museum of Science and Industry: I've saved the best for last. Not much new can be said about this place except that you might not be aware of one of the city's best membership deals. At the annual fund level ($300) and above, you get invited to several special events throughout the year that really make it worthwhile. Our favorite is the annual Boo Bash with a buffet dinner, open bar, dessert station, and free admission to the coal mine and other special exhibits. 
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    • How to time your Chicago school search to get into the school you want.
      “When is the best time to begin my school search?” is a question often posed by families looking to start the always dreaded but ultimately necessary rite of passage known as the “Chicago School Search.” Sometimes the question is followed up by a plaintive, “Oh my goodness! Am I too late?!” Rest easy, Chicago families. The answer is not as cut-and-dried as one would think — and ultimately, you are never “too late.”
      [Related: Getting into Harvard doesn't need to start in preschool]
      As the third largest city in the U.S., Chicago is home to a vast range of school types, sizes, options, and admissions processes. Even within Chicago Public Schools (CPS), there are various pathways for entry from preschool to high school. Overlaid with the multitude of private and parochial schools, there are always choices for parents whenever they embark on their school search. That being said, one of the keys to increasing your odds in any endeavor is to know when those odds are at their best.
      “Entry Year” odds
      For school admissions, when a program begins is known as the “entry year” of a school (e.g., a K-8 school’s entry year is kindergarten). This is typically the time when the school has the most spots available. But it can have the most applicants, as well. For example, a school with two kindergarten classrooms of 25 students each will have 50 spots to fill, and perhaps 500 applicants (a 10% admit rate). Conversely, that same school’s first-grade class may have just one spot open, but only five students applying — so it could have a 20% admit rate in a non-entry year. Considering how difficult it is to predict if any upper-year spots may be available, a good strategy is to be in the applicant pool of the entry year for your desired school.
      Some common or little-known entry points are:
      Infants (6 weeks: Montessori Academy of Chicago, GEMS World Academy) 3-year-olds (University of Chicago Lab School, Frances Xavier Warde, many Montessori schools) 4-year-olds (Chicago City Day School, Inter-American Magnet) 5-year-olds (most CPS schools) 5th grade (additional spots at Latin School) 6th grade (additional spots at Francis Parker) 7th grade (CPS Academic Centers) 9th grade (high schools) [Related: Want to make your community better? Consider your neighborhood school]
      September 1 cut-off
      Most preschool and early elementary programs have a strict age cutoff date of September 1, so keep that in mind when determining your child’s entry year. Once a school’s entry point is confirmed, be sure to apply one year before the program starts to be in the running for available seats. In other words, if you are interested in a school that begins at 3 years old, then plan to apply that fall when your child is 2 years old. Whatever year you enter a school, you are allowed to stay until the school ends, which is typically 8th or 12th grade.
      Targeting the entry year can increase your odds of acceptance at a school of your choice. Good luck with your school search journey, and may the odds be with you!
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    • Noting the mistakes your child makes with school assignments can inform how to better teach concepts in a way he or she will understand.
      If you are the parent of a child who is struggling with learning and/or attention and you are not getting support, answers or a plan of action from the school, you are not alone. Approximately 20% of school-aged children face some learning challenge during their academic careers. That’s 10 million children in the U.S. alone!
      Many children, especially those without a diagnosis or clear-cut, identified challenge, are often not given the necessary support for their learning needs in the school setting. They fall through the cracks.
      Even good schools are often underfunded and understaffed, making it difficult to address the needs of all children. Parents face frustration and anxiety as they look to the school for guidance, often receiving vague feedback, conflicting advice and discouraging remarks such as “Just wait it out” or “Your child just isn’t trying.”
      We live in an age where parents need to take the wheel, armed with an understanding of the nuances around their child’s learning needs. How can parents do this?
        First, it helps for parents to understand…
      Input (how children are taught) Output (how children are assessed) Cognitive processing (how memory, attention, processing speed, reasoning and executive functioning play a role in learning) How does this information help? Because looking into what is tricky for our kids—and what types of mistakes they tend to make—is the game changer.
      When children are struggling to learn, it is often because they misunderstand the concept or use inefficient strategies. To course-correct their learning, we need to first undo the ill-suited understanding or strategy and then teach (or reteach) a better approach.
      This can be a big task, and many parents feel apprehension when asked to dissect their child’s learning. But it really is up to us if we want the best for our child’s education. Plus, decoding how your child learns does not have to be overwhelming; on the contrary, it can actually be an insightful and interesting process.
      With 25–30 kids in a class, teachers often do not have the opportunity to catch—and analyze—every mistake made by each child. When we parents sit down to do homework with our kids, we readily catch the mistakes! In her new book, The Strength Switch, How the New Science of Strength-Based Parenting Can Help Your Child and Your Teen To Flourish, Dr. Lea Waters states that parents are hardwired to see a child’s flaws. So if we are programmed to quibble, let’s at least use this tendency to our advantage!
      By no means am I suggesting that we nitpick our children over their schoolwork. Rather, we should take notes on what types of mistakes our children make, then request a meeting at the school to discuss what would help our struggling learner. Armed with specific information as to our child’s struggles, we are much more likely to get our school to intervene quickly and use the most effective methods for our child’s precise area of difficulty.
      Like my parents, we moved into an area because of the quality of the local school. Underlying our decision on where to live was the assumption that if we lined up a quality school for our child, his education would be on auto-pilot. But many of us find out the hard way that our involvement is crucial, and that no one can help our child like we can. 
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    • Take your kids on exciting field trips this summer by exploring Chicago neighborhoods.
      Photo: The author's son having a close encounter with the art at the National Museum of Mexican Art.
      We all get stuck in it: the “neighborhood rut.” We know our parks, our coffee shops, our favorite routes. Months can go by, even years, and we realize we haven’t left our zip code—short of the odd errand to Costco or inconveniently located birthday party.
      Then one day we realize that we live in a city with 77 neighborhoods, and we’ve barely been to a quarter of them. I was exactly the same way until I researched and wrote my first children’s book last summer about Chicago’s neighborhoods. It turns out, it’s a good idea to actually visit them if you’re going to write about them!
      For six months, my two children and I explored nine of Chicago’s neighborhoods: Lincoln Park, Rogers Park, Portage Park, Pilsen, Chinatown, Beverly, Pullman, Hyde Park and Bronzeville. I should mention we don’t live in any of these neighborhoods. We don’t even live close to some of these neighborhoods. The experience left us with a deeper love of neighborhoods near and far, and a better understanding of what makes Chicago so great.
      Why explore new neighborhoods?
      You’ll find hidden gems you never knew existed. Your brand new favorite pizza place might be tucked away in a different neighborhood just waiting for you to find it—I’m looking at you, Pequod’s. A new neighborhood can feel like a totally different country, but a CTA pass is way cheaper than a plane ticket AND you don’t need a passport. If your children misbehave in another neighborhood, no one will even know you to judge the meltdown. Over the next few months, I’ll be featuring a different neighborhood and the treasures we found there on this blog. To get you started, though, I’ll offer my No. 1 tip for new neighborhood exploration: Pick three things to do.
      It’s tempting to try to do ALL THE THINGS when you visit a new place, but I recommend that you do three things: one indoor, one outdoor, one that involves food.
      For example, for a day in Pilsen with kids I recommend:
       Visit the National Museum of Mexican Art. Play at Harrison Park’s newly revamped playground. Eat a paleta: Mexican-style popsicle with delicious chunks of real fruit (or bubble gum, if you’re into that sort of thing). Doing three things gives you a taste of the neighborhood without burning out—or blowing through naptime. You can always go back another day to do three more things!
      I hope you’ll have fun visiting neighborhoods this summer and playing tourist in your own town!
      Kathleen Dragan is a South Looper and a mom of two Chicagoans. Her first children’s book, Rickshaw Reggie: Chicago Neighborhoods, will be published by Reedy Press in the summer of 2017.
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    • If fractions strike fear into your child during homework hour, here’s a hands-on way to help her understand how common fractions can be equivalent.
      Your child might know what half a cookie is, but how about 4/8 of a pie, or 2/4 of a pizza? If your child knows that all of these fractions mean the same thing, she's well on her way to understanding equivalent fractions. But if fractions strike fear into your child during homework hour, here’s a hands-on way to help her understand how common fractions can be equivalent.

      What you need:
      8 ½ x11 plain white paper Colored pencils Lined notebook paper What you do:
      Begin by asking your child what equivalent means. If she's having trouble, help her find a familiar word within the word (“equal”). To gauge how clear or unclear she is on the concept, ask her to explain it to you. You can even mention that you can't remember the concept from when you were in school, and that you would love a refresher course from her. This may relieve whatever pressure your child may feel if she is uncertain about the concept. Tell her that you will work together to figure it out. Give your child the piece of 8 ½ x 11 paper. Have her hold it horizontally (if your child confuses horizontal with vertical, tell him/her that horizontal is like the horizon). Have her fold the paper in half, then open it up again, and ask her to shade in half the paper using a colored pencil. Tell your child to now fold the paper into fourths (i.e., half, then half again). Ask your child to open up the paper. Ask her how many fourths are equivalent to one half. When your child figures out that 2/4 = 1/2, encourage your child write this equation on the lined piece of notebook paper for future reference and review. Repeat Step 3, but go on to fold it into eighths and then sixteenths, each time having your child write down the fractions that are equivalent to 1/2. As an extension activity, you can have your child write down all the other equivalent fractions he/she sees, like 2/8 = 1/4 and 2/16 =1/8, etc. You can continue this activity with thirds, sixths, twelfths and twenty-fourths. You child will be surprised at how fractions that look big and "scary" as actually the very same fractions that they are familiar with! Post provided by education.com.
      Read more...
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